Nightmare #9: Bad Vibrations

Good Day World!

I had a weird nightmare the other night about wearable technology.

I was riding a Hoverboard and checking my Garmin Vivosmart HR Activity Tracker - a wrist watch to monitor my daily activity, when something surprising happened!

My brand new Smart Yoga Workout Pants began vibrating in the wrong places!

I was wearing them so they would track my body's movements and use haptic feedback (vibrations on the skin) to maintain a proper yoga pose while riding on my Hoverboard.

PAUSE

Have you who have heard of vibrating underwear for lovers? 

Something terrible must have happened with my Yoga Pants because they were acting like vibrating underwear for lovers and driving me crazy!

Worse yet...I didn't know who was on the other end of the remote vibrator! 

Of course I was out in public and people were staring at me as I writhed down the street, when my Hoverboard suddenly caught fire!

Luckily, I had my Smart Ring connected to my Bluetooth and was able to call for emergency tech help at both the Yoga Pants Center, and local Fire Department.

Translation of my dream: I think I'm wary of modern technology...

related: Sex Wearables Go Where Fitbit Dares Not Tread

 Time for me to walk on down the road...

We Live in Fertile Times: Create You Own Cult

Good Day World!

There's never been a better time to start you own cult.

The dumbing down of America is complete.


(Illustration - Google images via The Atlantic)  

We have a bigger cross section of dumb people to select from now than ever before (318.9 million). 

Perfect example; look at Donald Trump's followers. I know it's not pretty, but if you look at the demographics the picture is clear: under-educated and older White Americans who are feeling disenfranchised. 

Trump's slogan. "Making American Great Again" appeals to a paranoid and angry group who want to turn the clock back to the so-called good old days in the 1950's and 1960s.

How about ISIS (or Daesh as they hate to be called?) It's one cult that borders between religion and political agendas.

There are others that fit the foreign and domestic terrorist category.
The armed, and militant, right-wing loonybirds at an Oregon bird sanctuary are holding taxpayer land hostage to further their own personal aims under the guise of helping others.

Religious cults are more common in this country. Some say Mormons are on the cusp of being a religious cult. The armed occupiers of the Oregon bird sanctuary building (BLM property) are led by a group of Mormons (the Bundys), which does play into that narrative. 

A political cult's primary interest is in furthering a certain ideology, mostly advocating a far-left or far right agenda. 
A good book on this subject is:
"On The Edge: Political Cults Right and Left," by Dennis Tourish and Tim Wohlforth. 

I see the signs everywhere. We live in a fertile time for paranoids of all ilks. Thanks to the Internet, cults can flourish like never before. It's no longer a real challenge to brainwash most of the public today.

Too many are waiting for the next messiah. Be it a president of the United States leading us to world domination, or the next mindless megalomaniac claiming to be Jesus, the country waits...and watches.

Time for me to walk on down the road...

Sex Needs a New Metaphor for the 21st Century

Good Day World!

Sex needs a new metaphor.

Baseball is so yesterday.

"Getting to first base, scoring, ...if there's grass on the field play ball, etc., just don't epitomize the world we live in now.

So what does?

How about Mixed Martial Arts? It sounds sexy.

"...she tapped out when he put her in a Full Frontal Nelson."

OR,

"He had Back Control and she was ready to submit."

OR,

"Their naked Ground and Pound Game left the audience speechless with lust!"

Other MMA terms just waiting for sexual usage:

The Mount (no, really it's an MMA move) Side Control, the Sprawl, and my favorite, the Triangle.

Honorable mention: Takedown

Time for me to walk on down the road... 

If You're a Female You Don't Want to Live in This Country!

Good Day World!

Women are marginalized all over the world.

But there's one country that stands out more than any other when it comes to women being killed, raped and harassed daily.
Afghanistan.

"Things are very gloomy for women, and it's getting worse," activist and campaigner Wazhma Frogh told NBC News .

Last spring this story broke:

Farkhunda murder: Afghan Judge jails 11 Cops Over Slaying 

The brutal attack against 27-year old Farkhunda, a religious scholar, prompted a protest movement -#JusticeForFarkhunda

According to Afghanistan's Women Peace and Security Research Institute, criminality and violence are the heart of the problem.

The real sad part is women got a positive boost from the American occupation and that's rapidly deteriorating as we withdraw our troops.

The country with the highest rates of domestic abuse is only going to get worse. Check this link out:

Afghanistan: No Country for Women

It seems females only chance for leading a better life is to leave Afghanistan. 
For all I know there's already an underground movement to help women escape from their tormentors.

If there is, I wish them the very best.

Time for me to walk on down the road... 

Litagation Gone Wild: Cases That Should Never Have Been Filed

Good Day World!

It happens all the time.

Somewhere in the USA, someone files a frivolous lawsuit and makes a mockery of our justice system.

Recently, an ex-Taco Bell executive from Southern California assaulted an Uber driver in Newport Beach, and is now suing the driver for $5 million dollars!

Benjamin Golden was drunk when Edward Caban picked him up. There's a viral video that shows Golden attacking Caban throughout the trip.

If that isn't enough to make you smack your head in disbelief, how about this story?

Lambert's Cafe, who proudly bills itself as the "Home of Throwed Rolls," is being sued by a woman for severe eye, head, and neck injuries resulting from one of these tossed baked goods. 

The Sikeston, Mo., based chain is known for serving huge portions of Southern, home-cooked favorites, but the airborn delivery of fresh, large, pillowy-soft rolls, then topped with apple butter, molasses or honey, is what truly makes the restaurant unique.

According to a story in USA Today, Troy Tucker claims she suffered "severe and permanent" personal injuries to the neck and eyes as a result of one of these rolls. 
She's seeking an award of at least $25,000 to pay for medical bills and legal fees (her shyster lawyer must be paid you know.)

This is the 2015 version of the now infamous Liebeck v. McDonald's suit where Liebeck was awarded nearly three million dollars for spilling hot coffee on herself (it was later reduced to $500,000).

It remains to be seen if Tucker will make a sucker of the legal system...once again.

Time for me to walk on down the road...

Part Three: Bob the Cat's Great Adventure and New Life

Good Day World!

Thanks for coming back for the conclusion of Bob the Cat's story.

They said he couldn't be adopted. That he was feral. It didn't help when we brought Bob back in the airplane and he went nuts! 

For a brief time, I imagined the plane having to make an emergency stop because Bob broke loose and was rampaging through the cabin.

Didn't happen.

When we finally got home Bob was slowly awakening. We had prepared a place for him in our walk-in closet so he wouldn't be overwhelmed by our two cats and pug, Molly.

We'd take turns going in and just petting him. As the weeks turned to months he started to venture out and was showing us the sweet side that was concealed inside.

After just a few months he became friends with the rest of the animals and shared food and a cat box with them. One of our cats, Oliver, is blind and Bob has attached himself to him and is now his faithful sidekick.

Bob has a funny little cry, almost a chirp. We believe he has a lot of Maine Coon in him. He's only two years old, and Maine Coons keep growing until they're around five.

He's a husky boy and outweighs both Oliver and our other cat Tom. But he's so passive with them all it's amazing. He really has a sweet nature. He just needed a chance.

Bob's transformation has been miraculous. I guess it just shows the power of love. He totally trusts us to pick him up now and is very much part of our family.

Time for me to walk on down the road... 

Part Two: Bob the Cat's Great Adventure and New Life

Good Day World!

Glad to see you back to find out what happened to Bob the Cat.

As you recall, Bob, my wife Shirley, and I were 30,000 feet in the sky when things started going bad.

The brand new, highly recommended, cat carrier was losing the battle because Bob was clawing and biting his way though it!
The carrier was located in front of her and beneath the passenger in front.

She used her foot - out of reflex she said afterward - to plug the growing gap. Mistake! Bob bit her big toe! She reached down with both hands and squeezed the carrier together, temporarily stemming the attack.

Visions of a wild cat breaking loose and attacking passengers danced in my head as I cowered in my seat helplessly watching the drama unfold.

The carrier was bouncing steadily now as an infuriated Bob attempted to tear through at another place. With options running out, Shirley pulled the carrier out while holding it upside down and together, and headed for the rear of the plane.

A couple of stewardesses sitting in the rear watched her in awe. They could see she was containing a violent little animal and coming their way.

Pause.

For the record, we got sleeping tablets from the veterinarian and gave him one before we left. It obviously wasn't enough.

By this time Bob had bitten two of Shirley's fingers and clawed her hands. She managed to get inside the bathroom and pulled out another sleeping pill.

Somehow, I'll never know how, but she managed to get that pill down Bob's throat. Holding the thrashing carrier in front of her she stepped outside and was greeted by two worried stewardesses.

They provided band aids and a cardboard carrying tray to hold against the biggest gap in the carrier. When we got back the passenger that was next to Shirley had moved (smart man).

Now it was just a matter of time - we hoped - before the second pill would calm him down. Meanwhile he thrashed around like a demon and cursed the human race!

About 30 minutes later we began our assent to Portland international Airport. Bob was resting quietly when we landed.

We had one more flight ahead of us to go to Medford Airport. Instead of a short wait it turned out we missed our connecting flight and ended up having to spend the night there.

Sitting in chairs. Lying on the floor. A temporary moment of panic when Bob came to and the carrier came to life! Shirley took out another sleeping pill and managed to get it past Bob's fangs. 

In the next post we take Bob home. Find out what happened and his current status in Part Three. Read yesterday's post for backround.

Time for me to walk on down the road... 

Part One: Bob the Cat's Amazing Adventure and New Life

Good Day World!

His name is Bob (photo).

They said he was un-adoptable at the cat sanctuary because he would go ballistic if you tried to pick him up.

Tales of his aversion to being touched were passed on to visitors. Some said he was feral. 

Bob's chances of adoption were so poor that management was even considering turning him loose in the streets because of the need for more space.

Then Bob's luck changed. His story got to me via my sister Linda. She already had three cats, and didn't want a fourth one, but she wanted to rescue Bob.

Linda called me and pointed out (quite rightly) that I only had two cats, and that I would be saving Bob's life.

I live in Oregon. Linda lives in Southern California. So I flew down with my wife, Shirley, and we got all the necessary paperwork to allow Bob to fly back with us from a veterinarian.

We bought a cat carrier and Shirley picked Bob up with no problems. She talked to him for a moment then put him in the carrier.

This was a surprise after hearing how crazy he was capable of being. Things went well...at first. 

We arrived at the airport with Bob in tow, and passed through security. At one point Shirley had to take Bob out of the carrier so they could inspect it for a bomb.

Then she had her photo taken by a PR person from the airline who said they may use it to show how pet-friendly they are.

We boarded the plane with no incident. Five minutes after take-off the terror started! 

Somehow, Bob had chewed away a corner of the brand new carrier - situated beneath the seat - and a desperate paw was swatting at Shirley's feet!

SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT IN TOMORROW'S POST

Time for me to walk on down the road...

Results in for Latest Episode of Who is the Biggest Liar?

                                   Good Day World!

Let's take a look at last weeks episode of "Who is the Biggest Liar?" aka, the latest Republican debate.

Picking right up on the theme that has run throughout the primaries, the Republican candidates didn't hestitate to pounce upon one another in their quest to see whose pants burned up first!

Ted Cruz rang the bullshit bell when asked about loans from two large banks totaling as much as $1 million that fueled his 2012 Senate campaign. He admitted he failed to disclose the loans to the Federal Election Commission saying, "Yes I made a paperwork error." 

FACT: 
Citing a mere "paperwork error" in failing to report to the FEC glossed over the fact that the law requires candidates to make such reports to the election regulators.

To compound his "little error" he never addressed the fact that a large chunk came from Goldman Sachs, where his wife works as an executive, and whether that might have made the loan possible.

Ben Carson's claim that Islamic State militants are smoking cigars and sitting around in chairs at our expense is patently false.

If Ben would have done his homework he'd know that IS fighters not only don't smoke anything(!), but also impose draconian fines on people who they catch smoking.

Donald Trump tried to deny he ever said anything about favoring a 45% tax on Chinese goods. "That's wrong. They're wrong," he sniveled.

FACT:
Trump began wriggling out of his idea for a massive tax on Chinese goods soon after he told the Associated Press last week that he would impose one and that "the tax should be 45 percent."

Sorry Donald, but it's in print, and you know you said it.

Jeb Bush, Donald Trump, and Marco Rubio all played the same fiddle when they claimed "Every American weapon system has been gutted." 

FACT:
These broadsides were stated in sweeping terms that reflect defense budget cuts approved by a Republican-controlled Congress and signed into law by Obama.

Actually some key elements of the military have expanded, including the special operations forces.

The defense budget problem has been worsened by repeated partisan conflicts over "sequestration," or automatic budget cuts that resulted from the 2011 budget control agreement between the White House and the Congress. (Information gathered from AP reports)

And the winner of Who is the Biggest Liar is...(drum roll) Donald Trump! (Doubling down on a proven fact gave him the edge in this next-to-last episode.)

Until next time.

Time for me to walk on down the road...

Notes from 'Diary Of A Dog Walker'

Good Day World!

I've been working on a book lately - tentatively titled Diary of A Dog Walker.

Here's a few notes on the project:

Taking a walk with a dog is a divine experience. My pug, Molly (photo), is a happy walker! She loves going to the park near our house and walking the perimeter.

"Today, I sparked up a strain of marijuana called Dawg Walker. Perfect! I really zoned in on the trees everywhere, and the great views of the mountains that surround us in Medford."

At my age (65) walking is highly recommended (at least 20 minutes day). Walking with a dog takes the exercise out of walking, and transforms it into a peaceful experience where you can commune with nature.

"Molly likes to chase birds. A flock suddenly took flight as we passed the children's playground and Molly lunged, only to be abruptly halted by the length of her leash. 

She barked at them in frustration, while I wondered what she'd really do if confronted with some birds up close and personal?

Molly is not shy when it comes to meeting other dogs. The meetings go well 99% of the time. I'm always amazed at how size doesn't intimidate her (she weighs all of 16 pounds). I think it's true that little dogs don't know they're little."

Time for me to walk on down the road...

Updated List of Clickbaiters and Fake News Sites Available

Good Day World!

Thanks to Snopes.com, here's a list of clickbaiters, and fake news sites. 

It's a trip that will take you down an alley where social media exploits the dark side of things.

Have you ever wondered where the flotsam floating around the internet comes from? Well this field guide will set you straight.

The sharp increase in popularity of social media networks (primarily Facebook) has created a predatory secondary market among online publishers seeking to profitably exploit the large reach of those networks and their huge customer bases by spreading fake news and outlandish rumors. 

 Competition for social media’s large supply of willing eyeballs is fierce, and a number of frequent offenders regularly fabricate salacious and attention-grabbing tales simply to drive traffic (and revenue) to their sites.

Take a few minutes and GO HERE to get the full scoop.

While the myriad sites referenced above represent only a small sample of the overall “satire” nuisance on social media, many widely-dispersed fake news claims have originated with them. 

All of the above-mentioned sites exist solely to spread false information, and none can be trusted as legitimate sources, no matter how compelling their claims might be.

Time for me to walk on down the road...