Saturday, August 18, 2018

Trump Plays Political Dodge Ball To Divert Critics

Good Day World!

Here's Captain Bone Spurs (aka Trump's) rules of engagement for his version of dodge ball.

Rule one: dodge, divert, distract when under fire from critics for corrupt behavior.

Rule two: lie with impunity and call the press the enemy of the people.

Rule three: attack his critics at every opportunity by throwing raw meat to his extreme base. 


1) Taking away ex-CIA Director Brenna's security clearance for criticizing him. Trump also has a hit list of 9 other former Obama employees that he plans of stripping security clearances because they too have been publicly criticizing him, and he blames them all for starting the Russian/Trump Campaign investigation.

2) Trump's mouthpiece, Sarah Sanders got caught lying about black support for the president when she cited some pie-in-the-sky statistics based on faulty information. Trump claims that blacks really like him despite the fact that every credible poll in the nation disputes that.

3) Trump and his Interior Secretary puppet, Ryan Zinke, claim wildfires are caused by environmentalists and there's no such thing as global warming. 

Oh yeah, Donny's still saying California's wildfire problem is because of rivers running out to the sea, so there's not enough water to fight fires. Sad and stupid.

This whole presidential thing is a game to Trump. It's about personally winning and tearing down and disgracing government agencies and the intelligence community if they're not in lock-step with his desires.

One last thought:

Trump had to cancel his military parade because the cost was outlandish, $92 million. So who does he blame? Washington DC for not making his dream parade less expensive. Those real world facts keep biting Trump's fat ass.

Time for me to walk on down the road... 

Friday, August 17, 2018

Profile of a Trump 'Mini-Me' Reflects Where the GOP is Today

Good Day World!

Those Republicans that have chosen to become Trump-Mini Me's for the midterms are a snapshot of where the party is under our Liar-In-Chief.

Here's a brief profile of one of the leading mini-me's, Bobby Wilson:

1) He's running for the Arizona State Senate and hoping his adulation for Trump gets him more votes.

2) He was initially charged, at the age of 18, with homicide after confessing to murdering his own mother and sister, then setting the house on fire.

3) His lawyer, after the murders were exposed, convinced the court Wilson had amnesia and didn't know what he was saying when he confessed.

4) On the campaign trail he brags about killing his mother in self-defense, after claiming his memory returned years later, and she was going to kill him with a semi-automatic weapon. 

According to his story his 49-year-old mother was standing over him one night with a locked and loaded rifle and shot at him six times before he dived under the bed, retrieved his single-shot rifle and shot her between the eyes... from underneath the bed(?) 

Then his sister rushed him and he used his rifle to bash her head in. A fire was started by a stray bullet hitting a gas can inside the house and he managed to get outside before being overwhelmed by smoke inhalation.  

Note: Anyone who believes that story is probably a QAnon follower.

5) The local newspaper account at the time reported the charred bodies of his mother and sister were found lying together in bed 'in a perfectly relaxed' position, indicating they died in their sleep.

6) During his campaign he often talks about the murder and claims it's an example of "a good guy killing a bad guy."

7) Wilson is not his real name. According to court records his last name is listed as Wiste. The family was living under an assumed name.

8) After dodging authorities for years with his amnesia story, he came up with his own version of what happened when he suddenly got his memory back. After the courts gave up on his seven-year-old investigation, he went on to write a book that made him look like hero for killing his mother and sister.

9) There's still local investigators that believe he murdered his family and got away with it.

10) The murders were never solved thanks to the court's acceptance of his amnesia ploy, suspending the proceedings for nearly a decade, before the case was thrown out.

Time for me to walk on down the road...

Thursday, August 16, 2018

A United Press Strikes Back: Will It Hurt Trump, or Help Him?

Good Day World!

Today, in case you haven't heard or read, over 350 newspaper editorial boards across America are united on one central theme; opposing Trump's constant press-bashing.

As a former newspaper editor, and publisher, I have mixed feelings about what this day will accomplish. It will certainly show that America's mainstream press will not be pushed around by Trump's attacks. But aren't they already doing that?

It will also demonstrate something else, an entirely different message to Trump's base. It'll be proof, in their small brains, that there is a "Fake News" and that the press is corrupt, and that's why Trump gets so harshly critiqued by the Fourth Estate.

It will be a compelling agreement for Trump supporters, and Trump himself will probably feel vindicated for attacking the press from his first day in office.

Consider this, Trump supporters don't read or watch mainstream articles. They're too busy watching Fox News and reading Breitbart's daily conspiracies online.

That fact alone makes me wonder if this is just all about "singing to the choir?" Two-thirds of Americans think he's a moron, and degrading the office of the president. When they read or listen to today's backlash against our deeply unpopular president, it will only ensure the validity of their feelings.

No minds are going to be changed. No Trump supporters are going to miraculously "see the light" after reading or listening to the potpourri of resistance being offered today.

While I support the journalistic community, I have to question if this is the way to start changing hearts or minds. When most of America's press suddenly starts playing the same tune, I get nervous. 

Maybe it's because I'm an independent thinker, and having everyone write about the same subject on a certain day seems like a homework assignment to me.

I believe that every newspaper should have independent editorial boards. When I see over 200 newspapers rally around one subject, it seems to me they're all ignoring their own diverse readers on the county and state level they publish in.

I'm not particularly worried about galvanizing Trump's base. They're already on board the crazy train. I'm more concerned about our independent free press coordinating their messages to the people. It smacks of something un- American, and is a road I hope my colleagues don't take again.

Time for me to walk on down the road...

Wednesday, August 15, 2018

Fear and Loathing 2018: If Hunter S. Thompson Covered the White House

Good Day World!

Imagine a young and vibrant Hunter S. Thompson driving his "Red Shark" down 1100 Pennsylvania avenue and stopping at Trump's monument to emoluments, Trump Hotel and checking in as a guest.

He's there on behalf of Rolling Stone, and it's his job to write about Trump and his corrupt minions in power. Like his famous novel Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Thompson's narrative will delve into the surreal (only to later find it is real) atmosphere surrounding Trump in the West Wing.    

The original story was seen through a drug-induced haze. This follow-up won't disappoint Thompson fans, because their hero will once again be reporting through a rabbit-hole maze of designer drugs that weren't available back in 1971.

Here a couple of scenes from Fear and Loathing 2018.

Thompson roars up to the front of the White House in his Red Shark and throws open the passenger door for Omarosa Manigault Newman, one-time top African in the White House, to get in.

He offers her a handful of pills while secret services agents swarm toward them, takes a hit from a bong, then slams his foot down on the gas pedal and plows through everyone, and out the gate while singing God Bless America!

Omarosa can be heard shouting, "I have the tapes!"

Fade out.

Hunter S. Thompson can be seen prowling around the White House grounds in the middle of the night after taking LSD, Ecstasy, Meth, and drinking a bottle of tequila. It's a dream-like sequence where Trump is seen skipping naked on the West Lawn as Thompson follows behind trying to get an interview.

It becomes hard for the viewer to tell what's really happening as other members of the West Wing join the frolicking Liar-In-Chief in a Congo line that snakes halfway around the White House.

In a moment of lucidity, Thompson turns toward the audience and shakes his head in disbelief. 

"This is crazier than anything I ever dreamed of during my lifetime of illegal drugs and alcohol. WTF! You actually elected this lying gasbag racist, misogynist to lead the country?" 

Fade out.

Time for me to walk on down the road...

Tuesday, August 14, 2018

How A Defense Bill Payed for Trump's Parade and Backdoor Deal With China

Good Day World!

With the help of the spineless GOP members in congress, a $716 billion defense policy bill was recently passed and signed into law yesterday by Trump... who got some goodies for himself rolled into the package.

For starters, he got his parade funded in the bill. Happy! Happy! Joy! Joy! Of course, no one knows exactly what it's going to cost - estimates have gone north of $30 million - but he finally got the funding to appease his enormous ego.

That a parade would fall under funding for a defense bill displays the depths Trump will go - and get away with when no one has the guts to stand up to him. 

Every since he went to France last year and watched a parade there, he's been openly envious of such a display of power. So how did he finally get his way?

Easy, he intimidated the cowards in congress and forced them to put the funding for his ego-drenched display of military might into a bill that would get bi-partisan support. It worked. The Democrats didn't want to be seen opposing a defense bill. Especially one that came with a pay raise.

But Trump's duplicity didn't end there.

He also got those same GOP ostriches to bury their heads and ignore a national security risk by taking sanctions off of a Chinese telecom company, ZTE. The very same company our national intelligence agencies have been warning against for spying on Americans with their devices.

That's why the sanctions were put there in the first place. Yet, Trump has turned the tables against our intelligence community and forged through with this addition to the funding bill.

We all know what Trump thinks about America's intelligence agencies. He makes it perfectly clear in his hateful and inaccurate tweets. 

So, we have a funding bill - by the way Trump wouldn't say the name of the bill - The John McCain Defense Funding Bill - that allows Trump to indulge in a meaningless parade and make back-door deals with one of our international rivals, China.

To top off his dog and pony show at Ft. Drum, N.Y., he attacked the media covering the event. He winked and tried to play the men and women sitting in their uniforms. 

Yes, he got a polite applause. After all that was their commander-in-chief, and they would have clapped if he brought a trained duck on the stage to perform tricks.

It wasn't his usual rally crowd. It was a group of professional soldiers, so there were no cries for building walls or locking up Hillary Clinton.

Instead, the audience sat there respectfully and watched their commander-in-chief spew rhetoric and radiate insincerity, as he treated the whole event like it was a reality show.

Time for me to walk on down the road...

Monday, August 13, 2018

Donny and the Bikers Have a Blast

                                            Good Day World!

Background music playing Bennie and the Jets.

The scenario:

There's pouring rain outside Trump's Bedminster Golf Course and he's feeling gloomy on Sunday. As his little fingers send out hateful tweets he hears a sound outside...

It's the roar of 180 motorcycles just outside his window! He's so exciting that he stops mid tweet and opens up the curtains and sees the Bikers For Trump motorcycle club waving at him.

He skips about in glee and tells his security people to bring them inside to the ballroom. In one of Donny's wet dreams come true moment, the bikers burst in chanting "Four more Years!" and "USA."

What followed was a perverse love fest as Donny posed for selfies with the excited bikers. At one point he got them chanting, "Tell the truth!" to the few reporters in the room covering the event. It was classic Trump.

His mood improved considerably after having his boots licked by the slavish bikers who came to save his day. 

One of the highlights of the visit came when Donny led them in the Pledge of Allegiance outside - during a break in the rain. It was such a touching moment I'm told, that two members of the press puked so hard they had to leave.

There was hardly a dry eye among the Trump cronies lingering around as he said, "Let's hear those engines!" and the roar filled the air with a sense of freedom and patriotism as they burnt rubber, screeching away into the New Jersey night.

Time for me to walk on down the road...

Sunday, August 12, 2018

A Conversation Between Mueller and Trump

Good Day World!

I'm going to ask you to suspend reality today, and to pretend we're in the near future.

Somewhere in Washington DC...
Trump has agreed (despite his lawyers advise) to talk with Robert Mueller.

Mueller: "Thank you for agreeing to talk today, Mr. President."

Trump: "Is that why I'm sitting in this room? Ha! Ha! Just joking with you horse-face."

Mueller: "Why did you fire FBI Director, Jim Comey?"

Trump: "Because he made up bad stories about me and Putin. It was my right as president to bitch slap him for claiming Russia helped me get elected."

Mueller: "Well...they did Mr. President. All of our intelligence agencies agree."

Trump: "What are you? A wise ass?"

Mueller: "No, sir. Just stating facts. Can we get on with this interview now?"

Trump: "Interview? This feels more like a grilling. When is this witch hunt going to stop?"

Mueller: "My best guess is we're going to wrap the investigation up shortly after our conversation. My next question has to do with Michael Flynn. When did you know he lied to the FBI?"

Trump: "Michael Flynn eh? Give me a moment, I'm trying to remember who he is. Off hand, I'd guess he was a bit player under my administration."

Mueller: "He was more than that, sir. He was your first national security advisor."

Trump: "Oh yeah! I fired the bum didn't I? I pulled an Apprentice and said, 'You're fired!'" 

Mueller: "Actually he resigned, sir."

Trump: "What is it with you Bob? Don't you like me?"

Mueller: "It has nothing to do with that, sir. Just stating facts."

Trump: "Facts! More like liberal attacks against America's favorite! You, and your 17 Angry Democrats, are part of the Deep State that has been trying to get me out of office. " 

Mueller: "You realize that these proceedings are being recoded, sir?"   

Trump: "Rudy! WTF! I  thought there weren't going to be any tapes! You know how I hate tapes!"

Time for me to walk on down the road...

Blog Break Until Presidential Election is Over

I finally hit the wall today. I can't think of what to say about all of the madness going on in this country right now. I'm a writer...