Saturday, November 26, 2022

New Frontiers for Tourism Revealed

Like everything else in the 21st century traditional tourism has been upended in favor of a new and crazier breed of tourist.

For example, you can go to Cuba to the remote beach town of Playa Santa Lucia and hire a shark guide to take you out for a swim with the bull sharks.

Shark tourism is becoming more common with lots of countries because experts say it has the potential to bring in millions of dollars to the local economy 

Let's pause and consider what a bull shark looks like and its nasty disposition. They have more than 350 teeth, a muscular appearance and have the occasional propensity to attack boats and people.

Enough said. It would be a nightmare for people like me who fear sharks more than anything and that includes my wife's wrath when I piss her off!

New Tourism Sites

If you ever go to Florida (for some strange reason) you should check out its newest entertainment destination - TrumpLand.

Young Republicans have been slithering to the new site in greater numbers this season because Trump is making more appearances since announcing he's running for president again. 

The most popular attraction takes place beside a penis-shaped swimming pool where Trump (dressed up as a carnival barker) orders his minions to perform tricks in seal costumes. The highlight of the act is when the "seals" flap their flippers in tune with the QAnon anthem. 


Tourists like going to Bubblegum Alley in California. 

The attraction is a wall that runs for 65 feet that is completely covered with used bubble gum. Pretty exciting don't you think?

Want something more exotic for your vacation destination? Go to India and check out the Karni Mata Temple.

Your hosts will be 20,000 plus rats! Karni Mata is also called the rat goddess by the faithful. The temple was dedicated to her, and rats have been encouraged to hang out there for eons. 

In recent years Trump supporters have been gathering at the temple to see who's the biggest rat of the year among them.

Don't Miss This

Have you ever seen "toilet themed art" or gone to a Golden Poop Festival? 

If not book a ticket to the Toilet Theme Park in Suwon, South Korea.

New frontiers for tourism are being explored every day around the world in the hope of improving economies.

As it stands, I can go the rest of my life and not see one of the tourism destinations mentioned here and still be a happy man.

Friday, November 25, 2022

The Benefits and the Fine Art of the Nap

We need naps.

The problem is Americans don't seem to understand that like other countries who actually celebrate a good nap.

Instead, we "don't have time" and/or we have a negative impression of taking a nap during the day.

Do you like naps? Millions of people like naps.

The benefits of a good nap are too numerous to list here in this post. Here's a link explaining sleep disorders and the advantages of taking a short nap every day.

The Art of the Nap

Best demonstrated by cats, naps can be a work of art. 

Have you ever watched how comfortable they look when napping (a favorite pastime in the feline community)? The internet is full of photos and videos of cats sleeping in oddly comfortable positions.

Artists worldwide throughout the centuries have painted pictures of slumbering felines.

From the literary world here's some quotes about naps.

"I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. That's when it's time for my nap."

Bob Hope

"Laziness works. And the simple way to incorporate its health benefits into your life is simply to take a nap."

Tom Hodgkinson

"I have a nap every afternoon like a little boy. Or an old man. Depending on how you look at it."

Gino D'Acampo

Astute regular readers have probably noticed that I've talked about naps two days in a row now. (See yesterday's post.)

You might even be thinking, "Dave, you're losing it. Maybe you better take a nap."

My feeble defense is "I'm not losing it, because I never had it!"

As it stands, full disclosure; I don't take naps because I'm not able to sleep at night if I do.

Thursday, November 24, 2022

Feeling Sleepy After Your Thanksgiving Meal? Don't Blame it all on the Turkey!

Happy holiday!

I've been elected by the National Turkey Union of America to dispel the myth that turkeys are the only one to blame for sleepiness when you eat your thanksgiving meal.

They also asked me to shoot down the myth that they are so stupid that they drown in the rain by looking up at it.

Done and done.

Let's start with the science.

While it's true that turkeys contain tryptophan, which scientists say acts as a natural sleep aid and a good mood, it's also true that you'd have to eat about twenty servings of turkey to get the knockout effect!

Allow me to explain.

A few slices aren't going to knock you out. You would have to eat 20 servings of turkey which would provide about 410 milligrams of tryptophan to equal one dose of tryptophan pill form. 

Adults who take tryptophan supplements take doses of 5 grams before bed to help improve sleep. By comparison, two servings of turkey contain 410 milligrams tryptophan which is considered an important daily nutrient dose.

Therefore, as the turkey's told me, there are other culprits that slip tryptophan into that Thanksgiving meal.

They are (in no particular order) milk, cheese, beef, chicken, nuts and soybeans. 

Throw in the fact that it gets dark earlier at this time of the year and your body naturally gears up its melatonin (the sleep hormone) and you get the picture.

Couple that with booze which is a common feature in most holiday feasts, and you're ready for a short winter nap.

I'm honored to have been selected as this year's National Turkey Union's representative.

There's a rumor going around that the National Pig's Association is going to ask me to discourage people from eating ham this Christmas. Their president suggests eating turkey this Christmas.

As it stands, if you fall asleep during the football games don't blame it all on the turkey!

Wednesday, November 23, 2022

Musk Releases Hounds from Hell into Twitterverse

Every day now a new devil gets his/her pitchfork since billionaire bad boy Elon Musk bought Twitter and restored them to the platform.

The worst of the worst - former TV host, former president, Florida retiree known for rabid rants, Donald Trump, led the line of losers getting a second chance to rave again on Twitter. 

Marjorie Taylor Greene and other white Christian supremacists who were banned have got their claws back and their rejoicing.

But for how long?

As Musk passes out megaphones to further pollute the Twitterverse advertisers are fleeing from the site. The writing may be on the wall right before us.

After firing half of the folks at Twitter when he bought the platform, only a skeleton staff remains under intense pressure to please Musk. Breakdowns are already occurring in the worldwide system

I'm not sure Musk thought the deal over that much. It seemed like an impulse at the time when he agreed to purchase Twitter. Afterall, it was already losing money. Maybe he actually believed he could make a profit by stripping his human resources to the bone.

That's not the way things like this work.

So, what then?

The whole thing was just a lark for a bored billionaire? He took bad advice? He wouldn't take any advice? 

There are too many billionaires openly and contemptuously displaying their power in public these days without restraints.

Because Musk's space satellites help the United States see what's happening on the ground between Russia and Ukraine, Congress doesn't have enough incentive (or guts) to challenge Twitter's content - even if it does cause riots and raging racism.

When Congress does get exasperated and calls Musk in to face a committee nothing - let me repeat this - NOTHING ever happens.

Moonface Musk can toy with the American people all he wants because he's wealthy beyond measure.

It used to be that billionaires kept a lower profile, preferring to keep their agenda behind closed doors with the use of dark money. Don't get me wrong, they still do, but this new generation of billionaires are without shame or conscience.

As it stands, the last thing this country needed right now was an avalanche of more vile and violent rhetoric into the public discourse.

Tuesday, November 22, 2022

In Case You Wondered: Pooping in Public is Not Covered Under the First Amendment

Just about everything these days is covered under the First Amendment but pooping in someone's yard isn't.

I can't imagine the country's founders claiming it's okay to crap where you want to in public places when writing the First Amendment.

What brought the subject up?

In 2017 a Colorado Springs neighborhood was plagued by a "mad pooper" defecating on their front lawns and sometimes right in front of their children.

From what little authorities have gathered the mad pooper is a woman jogger. Numerous blurry amateur videos that have surfaced on the internet proves that much. To this day she hasn't been caught.

A while back some clown came forward claiming to be the jogger's spokesman. According to him her actions were protected under the First Amendment, and therefore the government cannot control when and where she relieves herself. He actually compared her actions to breastfeeding in public.

Needless to say, authorities weren't playing that game and were intent on finding her and charging her for indecent exposure.

But they have to catch her first. 

The toilet paper company Charmin recently offered her a year supply of toilet paper if she turns herself in. 

Apparently, she's not that stupid to trade a year's supply of toilet paper to be registered as a sex offender because there's been no reply.

As for her spokesman, no one has seen him for years. If authorities did interview him after his announcement, no one reported on it. I understand it's still an open case.

Related: Another Mad Pooper in Denver Has Struck - It Was a Man this Time. (2021)

As it stands, there's a neighborhood in Colorado Springs where people are still on the lookout for the return of the mad pooper! Parents use her as a boogeyman who might crap in their kid's room if their bad!

Monday, November 21, 2022

Animal House in the House: Creature Features for Everyone's Entertainment

I know democrats are feeling blue right now because the GOP gained control of the House of Representatives during the midterms.

Skip the pity party people!

It's not the end of the world. As a matter of fact, it could be the best thing that could happen by driving democratic voters to turn out in record numbers in 2024.

Two years of republicans turning the House into an Animal House is going to motivate millions to vote the democratic ticket.

Upcoming sideshows

With MAGA morons becoming committee chairman you can expect a despicable and vile assault against the president of the United States and his son Hunter.

Fox News will gorge on the daily drama of GOP lawmakers on the loose in the House badgering democratic lawmakers.

Investigations into Trump's political rivals will spring up like poisonous toadstools in the congressional committees. Everyone knows the long-awaited Revenge Tour (it's not been a secret) starts in January.

There's a wrinkle in the plan.

The animal factor.

Republicans have devolved into an in-house collection of animals that are motivated by different agendas. Maggots' have no agenda beyond revenge for perceived slights. 

The (Ironically named) Freedom Caucus will find itself fighting with their colleagues over nearly every issue in the next two years. No political pundit would bet it'll be kumbaya among House republicans. 

You can count on those MAGA lawmakers for laughs. From (I don't have to wear a jacket like everyone else) Jim Jordan, to crazy Marjorie Taylor Greene and her Jewish space laser collection, it's going to be entertaining.

I understand it's not going to be easy watching lunatics mangle the Constitution and violate every law in Congress for the next two years.

As it stands, it helps to remember that we have a democrat for president and a democratic Senate to counter some of the madness.

Sunday, November 20, 2022

A Warning Sign I Never Thought I'd See

Have you ever heard the fairy tale about a prince that was turned into a frog by an evil magician and could only break the spell if a beautiful princess kissed him?

I got one better than that and it's not a fairy tale.

People are going out into Arizonia's Sonoran Desert and are licking toads! No shit. It's true and the National Park Service has had to resort to putting up signs everywhere imploring tourists not to lick toads, banana slugs, and unfamiliar mushrooms.

What going on there? I've never seen a public sign warning people not to lick toads. Are people that stupid nowadays? You don't have to answer. We both know there are strange and disturbing people among us.

Are the toad lickers hoping to be turned into princes or princesses? 

Seriously (for a moment) there are nimrods that have discovered that the toad's toxic secretions contain a powerful hallucinogenic known as 5-MeO-DMT. 

Apparently getting really sick by touching or licking poisonous toads doesn't deter some crazy tourists or drug pilgrims.

Authorities say that in recent years, smoking the toad's secretions has grown in popularity putting the amphibian on the endangered list in New Mexico (one of two states the toads live in.) The Department of Game & Fish says collectors want them for drug use. At least they don't kill them.

I've read reports that public figures have been experimenting with the toad's extracted toxins. Not the brightest bulb in any room, boxing legend Mike Tyson has spoken about using it.

There's potential hope, according to some researchers, that 5-MeO-DMT might offer therapeutic benefits.

I think it's interesting to know that Hunter Biden has written about using 5-MeO-DMT therapy as a form of addiction treatment.

Back to the clods walking through the Sonoran Desert at night (the best time to catch them) searching for toxic toads.

Stop it you clowns!

As it stands, I never thought I would see a sign warning people not to lick animals on public lands. I guess there's a first for everything.

Blog Break Until Presidential Election is Over

I finally hit the wall today. I can't think of what to say about all of the madness going on in this country right now. I'm a writer...