Good Day World!
Today's special feature:
King Trump has kindly granted me an interview from his throne room this morning. He offered up advise to men about harassing women.
Dave: Good morning, Mr. President. Thanks for granting this interview.
Trump: No problem. I know people love their president - me - and anytime I can offer my great insights, I'm happy to. MAGA!
Dave: You've been tweeting about former vice president Joe Biden recently and calling him "Creepy Joe." Pundits say mockingly. What's up with that?
Trump: The old pervert can't keep his hands off of women. I'm just warning them about Mr. Touchy Feelie.
Dave: To be fair, you've been accused of being too touchy feelie with women too.
Trump: Only by Democrats and the Fake Media.
Dave: What about the Access Hollywood tape? You bragged about grabbing women by the pussy!
Trump: It's even more fun than pinching titties! Lighten up! You're reading too much into that casual conversation (that never should have been released).
Dave: Biden's backers point out how much he respects women, and that he has never intentionally harassed a woman.
Trump: He's taking the wrong tact in dealing with his accusers. He also needs to stop the apology tour.
Dave: What do you mean?
Trump: He needs to embrace his creepiness. Look at me. I got elected right after that Hollywood Access tape. It's probably one of the reasons I got elected.
Dave: Are you saying Americans like creepy old men who touch women inappropriately?
Trump: No.You said that.
Dave: But, you just...
Trump: Did you vote for me?
Dave: What's that got to do with what we're talking about?
Trump: I want to see if your loyal to your beloved president.
Dave: I thought you were going to be giving advise on harassing women today.
Trump: I am. If your famous you can do whatever you want with them. I also recommend rating them on a 1-10 scale so men don't waste their time on skanks!
Dave: That's it! I thought you were trying to help women. I was giving my readers a chance to see how you changed your ways. It's obvious you have no respect for women.
Trump: Whoever said that I did? You can tell your readers to kiss my ass if they don't like it. My base does, and that's all that matters. Guards! Take this guy away and put him on a work crew building my wall!
End of interview...
Time for me to walk on down the road...