Saturday, April 20, 2019

What If Twitter Banned Trump?


Good Day World!

While cruising through my morning on caffeine and cannabis, a thought occurred to me..

and it grew...

and grew until it burst forth with a "what if?" scenario:

The Day Twitter Took Down Donny's Platform

A trickle of light managed to pierce the gold curtains in Trump's bedroom as he rolled out of bed that day. 

It was just another morning as he waddled to his toilet and prepared to launch a twitter stream of rants and boasts.

That's when his assigned secret services agents heard the high-pitched bloodcurdling scream and came running to his aide. 

Their concern quickly turned to confusion when they found Trump on the toilet screaming at his cell phone!

It was a pivotal moment. Should they call the men in white coats or wait until he stopped ranting? The tension was thick in that crowded bathroom with Trump and three secret service agents.

Just as the senior agent decided to dial for help Trump stopped and calmly asked why they were in his bathroom?

Agent: We heard you scream, sir.

Trump: That wasn't a scream dummy. It was a manly roar.

Agent: Sorry sir...

Trump: The twits at Twitter suspended my account! Get Miller, Mulvaney, and Sanders and tell them to meet me in front of the TV in the Oval office!

Agent: Right away Mr. President.

Trump sat on his throne for an hour before getting dressed and ready for the day. 

When he made his appearance in the Oval Office staffers scampered off in different directions like coach roaches seeking safety. Miller, Mulvaney, and Sanders stood at rigid attention. As he entered the room they saluted.

Trump: I lost my voice to the people today, and you three are going to get it back!

The three worried minions nodded their heads affirmatively and waited for further marching orders.

At that moment, Trump went into convulsions and his cronies quickly locked the door and pulled down the curtains as he waddled spasmodically across the room with drool coming down his lips.

Press release from the Office of the President of the United States:

"President Trump has gone golfing. He'll be back...someday."

Time for me to walk on down the road...

Friday, April 19, 2019

Redemption Lost: Mueller Report Suggests Congress Should Pursue 'Obstruction of Justice'

Good Day World!

The eagle redacted Mueller report has finally landed with an impact that assures the shit is going to fly in Congress for months to come.

Today is subpoena day, as House Democrats attempt to get the full monty report released.

Trump and his minions have been celebrating the release as complete exoneration and a huge victory. Of course, in the real world, that's simply not true.

Mueller opened the door for the House to go after Trump's ass for obstruction of justice. 

His cabal of lowlife lawyers are gambling that even if the House indicts Trump on obstruction of justice, the Republican majority in the Senate will protect him from impeachment.

Mueller said he lacked the confidence to clear Trump of obstruction of justice but added that Congress had the authority to act.

Quotes from Mueller:

 “We concluded that Congress has authority to prohibit a president’s corrupt use of his authority in order to protect the integrity of the administration of justice.” 
And ...
“Our investigation found multiple acts by the president that were capable of exerting undue influence over law enforcement investigations, including the Russia-interference and obstruction investigations. The president engaged in a series of targeted efforts to control the investigation,” Mueller said.

Related: Trump Campaign Deleted Key Information - Potentially Altering the Report

The heavily redacted report also made one thing crystal clear; the Russians were out to help Trump get elected and he (and his minions) welcomed the assistance they offered.
Time for me to walk on down the road...

Thursday, April 18, 2019

The Big Reveal: Here's The Full Mueller Report


                                       Good Day World!

I always start my mornings with coffee, but today I'm adding popcorn to my routine.

(Music playing) Today is the big reveal. 

Here's the released report's full text. It's a long read, but interesting.

Here's what we know so far, Barr addressed the press and gave a short rally for Trump. It was a partisan happy moment for Trump and minions.

Barr went out of his way to say that Trump was innocent and that he was a victim of an unnecessary investigation.

As snippets of the report get released today most Americans are not going to see the whole report. 

Once again, here's the report's full text. 

The battle to get the redacted parts will begin tomorrow when Congress subpoenas the rest of the story.

Time for me to walk on down the road... 

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

Who Is Bill Weld? Is He Crazy For Challenging Trump For 2020 GOP Ticket?

Good Day World!

I have to admit that I was really surprised when a Republican - Bill Weld - announced he was running for president against The Donald.

Frankly I thought most of the real Republicans had been driven into the hinterlands by Trump and his minions. The few that are still holding on in Congress are deaf mutes too cowardly to stand up to his assaults on the Constitution.

Pundits think Weld is nuts for challenging the orange Cheeto in the Oval Office. After all, he has the backing of 90 percent of the Republican party according to the polls.

The two-time governor of Massachusetts also ran as the vice presidential nominee on the Libertarian Party ticket in 2016. His conservative creds are considerable.

Watching him being interviewed I was struck by how confident the man seemed. When reminded that Trump had a majority of Republicans behind him and did he know his chances were slim to none? His reply was, "Yeah. I do."

Continuing, he pointed out that, "I have followers, particularly in New Hampshire, where I'm spending a lot of time. It's one vote at a time and one voter at a time, and you gotta meet 'em," he explained.

To establish his anti-Trump crusade creds Weld described himself as a "Republican who works across the aisle and gets things done." 

That alone would be a novel approach, but Weld doubles down with it saying he would have a "bipartisan Cabinet" if he won the presidency.

Wow! Imagine that?

Weld is running as the sane alternative in the Republican Party. Who knows? He may have a large silent following who loath Trump but are afraid to openly defy him, who will show up when it comes time to vote.

There's one more big reason why Weld might not be such a long shot for the GOP nomination: 

After the release of the real Mueller report tomorrow, all signs point to bad news for Donny on the obstruction of justice portion of the investigation.

Then there's all the rest of the investigations Congress is conducting along with New York's investigation into campaign violations and Trump's financial dealings of possible fraud and cheating the IRS.

That's a hell of a lot of baggage to carry for anyone - even Trump - that's running for the presidency. 

Bill Weld may very well be a sneaky candidate who picks up Republican voters feeling overwhelmed with Trump's crimes and assaults against the government.

No. I don't think he's crazy for trying. More like crazy as a fox!

Time for me to walk on down the road... 

Tuesday, April 16, 2019

Final Countdown: 2 Days Until Blast-off

Good Day World!

Five...four...three...

The moment America has been waiting for is arriving on Thursday...

the release of the real Mueller report!

Not another watered down conclusion like Barr gave in his four-page cover-up of the investigation three weeks ago.

I'm tempering my excitement with the knowledge that Barr is going to release a heavily redacted account of what Mueller found.

With that being said, Washington insiders are saying the obstruction part of the investigation is loaded with shit on Trump, and some of it will probably come out Thursday. 

The rest will end up coming out in dribs and drabs in the coming months as Trump fights every effort to get the entire contents of the report released.

The bottom line is when the Geni/Mueller report is let out of the bottle, there's no putting it back.

Time for me to walk on down the road...

Monday, April 15, 2019

See Analysis: 2 Trump Minion's Battle For Bullshit Bragging Rights

Good Day World!

If you missed seeing Sarah Sanders and Kellyanne Conway yesterday on the Sunday pundit shows from Fox to ABC, you missed epic examples of propaganda at its best.
Sanders appeared on a couple of morning shows and Conway appeared on one.

After carefully evaluating (with periodic vomiting during the process) the amount of lies; how passionate they were; their ability to divert and control interviews; and to defend Trump's lawbreaking; I finally decided that Conway was the Best Trump Minion representative for Sunday 4/14/19. 

Conway won bullshit bragging rights according to my results. The competition was fierce (especially when Sanders was on Fox.)

Don't get me wrong. Sander's was such a close second, I almost declared a tie. See what you think: 

Here's Conway on Meet The Press

Here's Sanders on ABC This Week

Here's Sanders on Fox News Sunday

Forgive me...I probably should have warned you to keep a barf bag nearby while viewing their competition.

Time for me to walk on down the road...

Sunday, April 14, 2019

Trump Updates Dictator Guide: The Power of Lying


                                           Good Day World!

In two short years our grifter-in-charge has modified the means to be a successful dictator in the 21st century.

Trump started off with the standard demonizing of the "other," creating crisis situations to entrench power, and using cruelty to spread fear.

But Trump's biggest achievement was to show dictators how to create an alternate universe. The pillar for this tactic was using the power of the lie.

Coming from such an accomplished world-class liar, the strategy makes sense in a twisted way.

He's still in office despite setting a record of an average of 22 lies daily. With over 9,000 documented lies since he slithered into the Oval office, Trump is setting a new standard for dictators worldwide.

Dictators have always lied, that's just stock in trade. 

But Trump's taken lies to a new level, saturating our government, social media, and the press. The result being chaos, which is music to any dictator.

In one sign that Trump's influence has already made a difference, the fake news fable is now fashionable among dictators worldwide.

With two years left, who knows what other updates Don the Con will add to the dictator's guide to controlling the masses?

Time for me to walk on down the road...