Monday, January 25, 2016

Nightmare #9: Bad Vibrations

Good Day World!

I had a weird nightmare the other night about wearable technology.

I was riding a Hoverboard and checking my Garmin Vivosmart HR Activity Tracker - a wrist watch to monitor my daily activity, when something surprising happened!

My brand new Smart Yoga Workout Pants began vibrating in the wrong places!

I was wearing them so they would track my body's movements and use haptic feedback (vibrations on the skin) to maintain a proper yoga pose while riding on my Hoverboard.


Have you who have heard of vibrating underwear for lovers

Something terrible must have happened with my Yoga Pants because they were acting like vibrating underwear for lovers and driving me crazy!

Worse yet...I didn't know who was on the other end of the remote vibrator! 

Of course I was out in public and people were staring at me as I writhed down the street, when my Hoverboard suddenly caught fire!

Luckily, I had my Smart Ring connected to my Bluetooth and was able to call for emergency tech help at both the Yoga Pants Center, and local Fire Department.

Translation of my dream: I think I'm wary of modern technology...

related: Sex Wearables Go Where Fitbit Dares Not Tread

 Time for me to walk on down the road...

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