Parody Posters that please the eye and the funny bone

Here’s a great parody poster of one of my all time favorite movies, Forrest Gump.

If you’d like to see some more cool parody posters GO HERE.

Meet the zebra-donkey hybrid named Pippi Longstocking

The 1-week old animal is attracting attention at the Chestatee Wildlife Preserve in Georgia

A zedonk, an unusual cross between a donkey and a zebra, is attracting attention at the Chestatee Wildlife Preserve in Dahlonega after being born there about a week ago.

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Dutch brewer claims to make the world's strongest beer

A Dutch brewer with a penchant for competition has laid claim to creating the world's strongest brew: a beer that is some 60 percent alcohol by volume.

"You don't drink it like beer, but like a cocktail -- in a nice whisky or cognac glass," brewer Jan Nijboer told Dutch news agency ANP.

Men's accident rates climb with women's hemlines

Someone finally did a study of men being distracted while driving when they see women wearing brief outfits.

This has been going on since the first car rolled off the assembly line. I noticed that only 29% of the men surveyed said this happens to them.

I’d like to suggest Sheilas’ Wheels do a study of women texting, or talking on cell phones, while driving. It would be just another no-brainer study similar to this one on men.

U.K.study finds skimpy outfits distract male drivers

.The London Telegraph said the study by car insurance company Sheilas' Wheels claims men get into more accidents in the summer because they are distracted by women's skimpy outfits.

Wealthy and Alone: Mystery Heiress Maintains Mansions She Hasn’t Lived in for Decades – One of Them Was Never Occupied!

At 104, she occupies drab hospital instead of lavish estates

Huguette Clark inherited a fortune in railroads, copper mines, cattle, timber and banks. Her father also owned the land that would one day become Las Vegas.

But it was here in Santa Barbara (photo right) that she began to turn her back on all that, retreating from the world after a brief marriage.

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Friday Fun: check out this rainbow ghost optical illusion

John Shadowsky introduced a new kind of optical illusion he invented. I’m talking about one that gave us ability to see black and white photos in full color! This is the closest you get to having super-hero powers. It was really an extraordinary value added to the optical illusions field, but also an interesting phenomena brought to attention of those studying visual sciences. The below rainbow is just one of many emerging samples, based on John’s discovery.

To see this optical illusion in it’s full capacity, wait for the animated .gif to loop to its start. You’ll know you’re there when you see a full colored rainbow appear. Now stare at the center dot for few seconds, and at one time the animation will switch. But don’t move your eyes from central dot just yet! What do you see? If you followed my procedure precisely, sooner or later you’ll find out that the animation below consists of two similar images. Only difference between them, is that one is in color, and the other is black and white. After staring at the color rainbow’s central dot, negative colors burnt in your retina, and you were able to see the black and white photo in full color!

'What gall!' Inmate sues his crime victims

The thing that really cracks me up is this crook learned how to file a lawsuit on his own using the prison library.

A Florida inmate has filed a lawsuit seeking $500,000 in damages from three men who caught him red-handed with a stolen bicycle, claiming they roughed him up, according to a newspaper report.

'I guess time in prison just makes you go crazy,' said the bicycle owner.

Scum For the Week: ABC executive resigns amid sex harassment probe

As It Stands “Scum of the week” is a sexual harasser who happened to be a big honcho at ABC.

He’s now qualified for next month’s coveted “Scum of The Month” award plus an “Ass Hole Merit Badge.” I expect the competition is going to be formidable with  Congressman Charlie Rangel also competing for it, along with a host of other scum bags-in-waiting.

Source says multiple complaints were made, network doesn't deny it

The head of entertainment programming and production at ABC resigned from the network as the company conducted an internal sexual harassment investigation, a source said Wednesday.

The disclosure came a day after Steve McPherson abruptly stepped down as president of ABC Entertainment Group. Disney-owned ABC did not deny allegations of inappropriate conduct were involved.

Concentrated debris in the Pacific Ocean a growing problem

Go here to read about the Great Pacific Garbage Patch.

If that term is unfamiliar to you, let me clue you in. In central North Pacific Ocean, there is a huge mass of marine litter.

And by huge, I mean this thing is twice the size of Texas! This mass of trash, made up of mostly old toys, plastic bottles, bags, etc. washed off beaches, is so large, it has often been jokingly referred to as the eighth continent.

Scientists have known about this continent of trash for over a decade, but thought the possibility of cleaning it up was impossible. Now, there is Project Kaisei, which is an effort by a group of researchers to study the mass in order to determine if it is possible to clean up. The project was created by the Ocean Voyages Institute, a not-for-profit organization focused on marine preservation.

Teddy bear collector admits $331 million fraud

A former money manager pleaded guilty Wednesday to securities fraud, admitting that he cheated charities, schools, pension funds and others out of at least $331 million, using a portion of the funds to buy collectible teddy bears and to invest in $100,000 horses.

Paul Greenwood, 63, was the world's largest collection of Steiff toys.

According to a 2008 magazine article, Greenwood's collection of teddy bears included more than 1,350 Steiff toys. Among them were 74 bears plus birds, cats, insects, dinosaurs, kangaroos, seals, squirrels and many other types of stuffed animals.

Photo image of rare Steiff bear.

I love it! Superman really does save the day for one family

Asylum reports that a family was packing up their belongings after their bank had started foreclosure proceedings, when they came across a box of comic books in the basement.

But this wasn't just any box, and the family suspected they'd struck gold when they discovered among the titles "Action Comics No. 1," the comic that introduced… 

Superman to the world and brought to life the superhero genre, which remains popular to this day.

It also happens to be worth upward of $250,000!

Really? Steal a Tarantula and Go Straight to Jail?

So this guy from Maryland  does something really stupid and the judge puts him in jail.

If that logic is applied even-handedly to every person who does something stupid (that doesn’t harm animals or people), then we’ve all been guilty numerous times in our lives..and better hope we never go up before this judge for a stupid mistake.

Randy Humple was a parole, but it seems silly to put him in jail (at taxpayer’s expense) for 90 days for stealing a spider. He did steal something, and should pay a fine and/or do some community work. But wasting money that could be used elsewhere in the local government seems like a stupid sentence on the judge’s part. Carroll County Circuit Judge J. Barry Hughes sentenced 27-year-old Randy Humple of Westminster on July 26th.

This Sunday’s (Aug. 1) “As It Stands” in The Times-Standard, is taking a lingering look at stupid people. Be sure to take a peek:  ‘I know I’m right’ syndrome or being stupid and proud of it – on the Op Ed page. So you there.  

You know your old when invited to attend a Centennial Celebration at the College you Graduated from 31 years ago!

Out of the blue (sort of, I’ll explain shortly) I got an invitation to write about my experiences while on the staff of Fullerton College’s student newspaper, The Hornet, and an alumni invite for the 2013-14 year!

Bob Jensen, Dean of Fine Arts, at Fullerton College, commented on my column (in the T-S Topix forum) last Sunday. He asked if I’d like “to write a piece about my time at Fullerton College (class of 1979) – especially your Hornet staff member experiences.”

After carefully considering the request, I threw my hat in the ring and said okay today.  Since then, I’ve been rooting around and found my “stream book” of articles/columns that I wrote. I couldn’t help chuckling when I looked at the gnarly feet I used instead of my mug shot next to my first column “As It Stands.”

Here’s some history:

Fullerton College is the oldest continuously operating community college in California. Today, this two year college (left) offers a comprehensive array of academic programs with 90 majors leading to the A.A. or A.S. degree in both academic and vocational subjects, as well as 68 programs leading to vocational certificates.

A 1913 department of post-graduate studies at Fullerton High School first established Fullerton Junior College (right) and was the genesis of what is today the North Orange County Community College District.

By 1922, the Board of Trustees of the high school had come to view the "junior college" (below) courses as serving not only students who wanted to transfer to four-year institutions, but also those who could benefit from cultural or vocational training beyond that offered in high school.

In the spring of that year, Fullerton Junior College was organized as a separate district college, although it continued to share with the Fullerton Union High School District a Board of Trustees and many administrators.

 In 1934, the first increment of the present Fullerton College campus was acquired and a development plan was adopted. Much of the detailed Spanish-style construction (seen here) was completed with federal funding as a means of providing Depression-era employment. In 1936, the college moved its classes from Fullerton High School into its new facilities across the street.

For current information about Fullerton College click here.

News Alert: Missing Sailor Found Dead in Afghanistan

One of two U.S. Sailors missing in Afghanistan since last week has been confirmed dead and his body recovered, a NATO spokesman said Tuesday.

“The search continues for the other missing Sailor,” said Lt. Col. Todd Breasseale, a spokesman for NATO and U.S. forces in Afghanistan.

Getting defensive is good for men — but not women

Study shows such behavior makes men feel less stressed; women have opposite reaction

This study seems kinda odd to me. You’d think when someone is being defensive, they’d be stressed out. But no! The researchers say that men actually feel more in control when their being defensive.

This may be because Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus (read the book, it’s great).

photo source

Ancient legal code uncovered: ‘an eye for an eye’

Israeli archaeologists say they have found two 3,700-year-old clay tablets that appear to contain legal pronouncements similar to the Code of Hammurabi and the biblical "tooth for a tooth" rule.

Photo: A fragment of a cuneiform tablet, found amid excavations at Hazor in northern Israel, appears to record legal pronouncements.

Garage sale find of the century: authentic Ansel Adams glass negatives for $45

California man paid $45 for glass negatives which may fetch $200 million!

Multisource political news, world news, and entertainment news analysis by Newsy.com

Photographs displayed during a news conference, made from glass plate negatives shot by the late photographer Ansel Adams are seen in Beverly Hills, on Tuesday July 27,2010. A lawyer says a trove of old glass negatives found in a garage sale for 45 dollars, by Rick Norsigian a painter from Fresno, Calif. has been authenticated as the work of photographer Ansel Adams and are worth at least $200 million.

D.C. Medical Marijuana Law Clears Congressional Hurdle!

The District will join 14 states across the country in having effective medical marijuana laws.

“After thwarting the will of District voters for more than a decade, Congress is no longer standing in the way of effective relief for D.C. residents who struggle with chronic ailments,” MPP executive director Rob Kampia said in a press release. “This moment is a long overdue victory for both D.C. home rule and the wellbeing of District residents whose doctors believe medical marijuana can help ease their pain.”

Audit: U.S. can't account for $8.7 billion in Iraqi cash

Oil funds were 'vulnerable to inappropriate uses and undetected loss'

“The report by the U.S. Special Investigator for Iraq Reconstruction offers a compelling look at continued laxness in how such funds are being spent in a country where people complain basic services like electricity and clean water are sharply lacking seven years after the U.S.-led invasion that toppled Saddam Hussein.”

Despite the conclusion that the whole system was easy to rip off, it also said: 

“The audit did not indicate that investigators believed there were any instances of fraud involved in the spending of these funds.”

Say what? All this money – a whopping $8.7 billion in cash – just disappears and the investigating agency says no fraud was found? In the real world billions of dollars do not evaporate like smoke – which someone in the U.S. Special Investigator’s office is now trying to blow up the public’s ass!

Scum of the Month: Andrew Breitbart set to speak at RNC Fundraiser

It was a no-brainer for the coveted “As It Stands Scum of the Month Award” for July…

As a matter of fact, in a rare double dip, Breitbart has also earned his “Ass Hole” badge making him eligible for Scum of the Year!

Conservative provocateur Andrew Breitbart (pictured here) -- who posted the very misleading excerpt of Shirley Sherrod's address to the NAACP -- is set to participate in an August fundraiser with RNC Chairman Michael Steele.

Wouldn’t you like to go and hear what this racist has to say next? He’s going to be inspiring a roomful of intolerant, lying, racist, politicians, who want to be just like him!

Persistent Pooping Pigeons Bombard Band – Concert Halted

Pigeon droppings halt Kings of Leon concert

Heavy storms and scorching temperatures have failed to deter rock bands from performing at an outdoor stadium in St. Louis, but a bombardment of pigeon droppings proved too much for the Kings of Leon.

The band halted the Friday night concert at the Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre after three songs when the infestation of birds in the arena's rafters dropped their onslaught of feces.

A statement from the band's management company, Vector Management, said bassist Jared Followill (pictured right) seemed to be a particular target of the pigeons, whose droppings were a potential health hazard.

The Riddle of the Rats: Discovered: The Biggest Rat That Ever Lived – or Is It?

Researchers announced today that they have unearthed the remains of the biggest rat that ever lived on this planet.

“The skeletal remains of the robust rodent were found in a cave. The excavations also turned up 13 other species of rodents, 11 of which are new to science, with eight of the rats estimated to have weighed more than 2 pounds (1 kg

When alive, the giant of the bunch weighed some 13.2 pounds (6 kilograms). For comparison, a house rat weighs on average 5 ounces (150 grams). Today's heftiest rats weigh around 4.4 pounds (2 kg) and live in rain forests in the Philippines and New Guinea.”

There’s at least one little detail (forgive the pun) that bothers me.

What about the Capybara (photo right)? I read where it’s the largest living rodent (rat?) today, and that the Capybara measures from 40 to 55 inches long, and the males can weigh up to 135 pounds!

That seems a whole lot bigger than what these, puny by comparison, rodent/rat ancestors who barely tipped the scales in comparison. So what’s the big deal? Are the researchers unaware of the prodigious Capybara? Not likely. Do they consider it something other than a rat? Hmmmm…The Capybara is a rodent. When is a rodent not a rat? None of this makes sense to me.

It gets even more confusing. Read about another rodent with the claim of being the biggest that ever lived. The Josephoartigasia monesi weighed a ton or two, according to scientists, and was bigger than a bull! This guy was a relative to the Capybara:

“An amateur paleontologist discovered the exceptionally well-preserved 20-inch-long fossil skull of the gargantuan rodent — dubbed Josephoartigasia monesi (shown at left)— embedded in a boulder on a beach in Uruguay. Scientists estimate this creature lived roughly 4 million years ago in South America, alongside terror birds, saber-toothed cats, giant sloths and massive armored mammals.”

J. monesi weighed roughly 2,600 pounds on average, perhaps reaching up to 5,700 pounds.”

I’d like to know the REST OF THE STORY (forgive me Paul Harvey). Rodents and rats are same same right? I’m not sure now…Here’s a shout out to anyone who can solve the riddle of the rats for me.

A real nightmare: Bed bugs biting all over the U.S.

More than 95 percent of exterminators across the country report infestations, new survey finds

Forget about fictional, glitter-skinned teen vampires. You’re far more likely to have your blood sucked by bed bugs!

The tiny, sneaky insects are spreading so rapidly across the United States that almost no region or area is unbitten, a new survey suggests. Calls to exterminators nationwide about bed bugs are up 57 percent nationwide in the last five years, according to a new survey by the National Pest Management Association and the University of Kentucky. More than 95 percent of 519 U.S. exterminators participating in the survey reported finding at least one bed bug infestation in the past year.

Photos: Sleeping with the enemy

Go here to see more.

As It Stands: This column's genesis, anniversary and gnarly toes

By Dave Stancliff/For the Times-Standard

Posted: 07/25/2010 01:30:27 AM PDT

Editor's Note: It's been two years since Dave Stancliff became a regular fixture on the Sunday opinion page. In that time, he's generated a great deal of discussion, positive feedback and more than a few angry phone calls. The latter, to most columnists, is almost better than a compliment. Happy anniversary Dave.

First off, no one asked me to give the genesis of this column, but I couldn't think of anything else to write about this week. (comedic pause ... )

”As It Stands” has been featured in the Times-Standard's Sunday opinion page since July 27, 2008. I'd let its anniversary slip by without comment last July. I'm not sure why. More than likely, I plain forgot to note the milestone.

I thought about leading off this column by saying my faithful legions of readers have petitioned me for its history. The problem is, the only regular readers I can think of are either related or friends!

I'm not going to let that discourage me. “As It Stands” was unveiled in 1976 while I was on the editorial staff of The Hornet Newspaper, a campus publication for Fullerton Community College. Instead of my photo by the column, I drew two cartoon legs (cut off at the knee) ending in feet with big gnarly toes. It was really ridiculous and readers loved it.

The next time my column publicly surfaced was in 1981, when I was editor of a little weekly newspaper called The Desert Trail. I had to tone it down from the college version, but still used it as a way of to reach out to readers with an informal platform. Some even called it “folksy.”

That platform became more political over the years, and my usual bizarre and humorous topics gave way to questioning politicians in local government and making observations on national politics.

When I quit writing the column in 1991, I was the managing editor of a group of newspapers (Post Newspapers based in Palm Desert) and was “burned out.” I went to the VA for help. At the time, I didn't realize I had PTSD. I was totally unprepared for the vivid flashbacks that often landed me back in the steaming jungles of Vietnam and Cambodia.

GO HERE TO READ THE REST.