Good Day World!
America has spoken.
After polling thousands (okay, more like my neighbors and some friends), five finalists have been selected for my new "National Cra Cra Crown."
Contestants all had to have one thing in common - they needed to be batshit crazy. As you can imagine, it was no easy task picking the craziest person in America today with so many qualified candidates.
Here's the five finalists:
1) Hailing from the wealthy side of New York, there's Donald Trump!
He was selected on the merit of his two and a half years in office. Because he did so many crazy things, and his deteriorating mental state, he's considered the front-runner in this contest.
2) From the racist state of Alabama, we have Mitch McConnell!
Beside being a world-class hypocrite he's crazy about Trump and his ruinous regime. Sometimes when it looks like he's shooting himself in the foot... he doubles down on crazy.
3) Also from neo confederate Alabama, there's Roy Moore!
It took more than being a pedophile and a GOP senatorial candidate for 2020, to prove how crazy he is.
With the help of numerous interviews with the press, his supporters were impressed with his illogical arguments that always bordered on the crazy.
4) Slinking out of the Mississippi bayous is none other than Paula White.
She's best known for being a Trumpie televangelist who siphons money from the pockets of the middle class and poor, into her bank account.
Her Prosperity theology is nothing more than a cover for the wealthy. She was selected because she thinks Trump was sent here from God.
5) Rounding out the crazy pack from New York is William Barr, better known as brown-nosed AG Barr.
He was crazy enough to court Trump and get a job licking his ass and going after his enemies.
Now he's prepared to go down with the ship under Trump's crazed rule.
If you'd like to select one of these crazy candidates please reply to this post before 5:00 Friday with your choice. I will be announcing the winner on Sunday. (Or, not!)
Time for me to walk on down the road...