Americans Already Facing Harassment During Early Voting

Try to imagine what it would be like if you went to drop off your mail-in ballot at a designated drop box and masked armed men and women wearing militia gear stood a mere 75 feet away and began intimidating you with crazy questions and accusations.

You'd probably think you were in a south American country like Venezuela.

But it's already happening in Maricopa County, Arizona. The Department of Justice is investigating several cases of voter intimidation like the one described above.

It's not a mystery or a one-off event. Republicans in their lust for power are encouraging fully armed "monitors" to patrol drop boxes and polling stations across the country.

These so-called election guardians are full blown members of the Trump cult and are willing to do what it takes to see him assume power once again. 

I can't help wondering how local sheriffs are going to defuse the heavily armed watchers and protect voters' rights.

In Arizona the sheriff's department has responded by adding extra patrols to the voting areas. It's still a volatile situation with 15 days to go until November 8th.

I'm so disgusted that voting has now become another flashpoint between the two Americas where one side has gone bat shit crazy. You know which side I'm talking about.

Voter safety. 

Who ever dreamed that one of our basic freedoms - the right to vote - would become a such a point of contention in the 21st century?

Moving on.

There are dark ominous political clouds gathering across the nation as we draw near to the midterms. An early winter is showing itself in places like Great Falls, Montana with heavy snow fall and downed power lines.

It's our winter of discontent. We've survived many others. And here we are again. It's nothing new in this diverse nation.

For your own peace of mind ignore the polls and all the performance art playing out in politics. Their all a waste of your valuable time.

When all the votes are counted, we'll see what really happens and then we'll move on, one way or another.

As it stands, all of our freedoms must be rigorously defended if we are going to survive as a democratic republic.

People Are Signing Up for 'What Me Worry Party?' the Hot New Ticket in Politics

Like any political party, the "What Me Worry Party" has a leader.

His name is Alfred E. Neuman. You may know him from his long association with Mad Magazine where he made his first appearance in 1954 when the magazine's editor Harvey Kurtzman introduced the iconic character.

I should point out that the "What Me Worry Party" members believe Neuman is an immortal. (That's no crazier than Trump followers who think he's the son of God). 

Followers cite the fact that Neuman made his first debut in public in a late nineteenth-century advertisements for painless dentistry.

As Neuman followers know that's where the motto "What Me Worry?" first appeared next to a portrait of him with his distinct smiling face, parted red hair, gap-tooth smile, freckles, protruding nose and scrawny body.

Some people may even recall when Neuman appeared on a presidential campaign postcard with the cation "Sure I'm for Roosevelt" in the early 1930s.

That's not all of Neuman's political chops. He ran for president in 1964 with the motto "What - Me Worry? I'm Voting Mad." 

His likeness was often substituted for President George W. Bush. Neuman's smiling face appeared on posters as part of the protest that accompanied Bush's 2001 inauguration.

Here's some visual examples of how involved Neuman has been in politics over the decades.

Who can ever forget when Neuman endorsed and congratulated Richard Nixon? Or, when he congratulated President John F, Kennedy for his big win?

Neuman is still popular in politics and can tout his experience with the current administration.

Neuman's quick insights have earned him the respect of a loyal following who agree with his philosophy that it's all bullshit and there's no use worrying about the state of politics - because it's a mad house.

As it stands, let's face it, nothing is too crazy during this election cycle.

The Price of Power: Americans Turning on One Another Like Rabid Honey Badgers

Sometimes I find myself blinking in astonishment at the warlike rhetoric that is standard in politics today.

This isn't the America I grew up in. I didn't hate my neighbor. Politics followed certain patterns like if you were caught flat-out lying about something during your election campaign... that was the end of it. You were pushed aside and ignored by all.

How things have changed.

Today politics is more a blood sport than ever with calls to hang opponents and line them up in partisan firing squads.

Republicans openly run on lies about the 2020 election being stolen. To get behind Trump's Big Lie is a badge of honor among the candidates running for office in November.

If Republicans take back Congress, they're promising a purge like this nation has never seen before. Their only agenda will be revenge against those who have stood up for democracy and called out the GOPs lies these last two years.

This upcoming election is about getting power at any price for Trump minions. The remnants of the Republican party that once balked at backing candidates like Hershel Walker and Dr. Oz have openly admitted they don't care what their candidates did or said in the past they're holding their noses and backing them.

The lust for power is that bad in the once United States where values like truth, honor, and respect for other humans have been trampled on by Trump and his fascist followers.

There are no limits. MAGA minions are increasingly turning to violence to overthrow our government. Jan. 6 was just a rehearsal for 2024 if the Republicans lose the presidential race.

What about our cherished ideals and love of freedom? Are we going to lose our democratic government because of rabid Republicans who can only think about being in power for themselves and are treasonous cretins?

Political pundits have bandied around the thought we could have another Civil War. I've got news for everyone who isn't paying attention... we ARE in a Civil War right now!

Look around you. Look at the people in your community. Look at the endless flow of misinformation and lies on all of the media platforms. It's all warfare. 

There are threats against women's rights. Threats against minorities. Threats against Jews. Threats against the LGBTQ community. Threats against teachers and election workers. Books are being banned from libraries and schools by MAGA morons.

All of this is the price of seeking unadulterated power to benefit a special segment of our society.

As it stands, where are you in this maelstrom of madness? Are you a combatant or a refugee?

Write on! Today is the National Day on Writing

Today is actually an initiative of the National Council of Teachers of English - built on the premise that writing is critical to literacy but needs greater attention and celebration.

For the past 11 years, the group has seen thousands of people share their responses and engage in activities around the theme #WhyIWrite.

As a lifetime lover of writing, I can honestly say the benefits are numerous. In a time when a former president and TV host had to have his daily briefings illustrated to keep his attention because he didn't like to read and simply couldn't write a coherent sentence, there's never been a greater need to write.

There's still room for writers in our world. There will always be room. The need to document history and to communicate via the written word is woven into mankind's DNA.

We've always recognized the power of the written word going back to ancient cave walls scribbled with our ancestor's messengers on them.

I'm concerned that the power of the written word is being diluted these days as fewer good writers can be found. There are hacks everywhere, brutalizing the language and lying in all caps.

I am encouraged by my granddaughter (a sophomore in high school) who loves to write unlike her peers. Her imagination pours out in cleverly written stories and essays. I like to think I'm part of the reason she loves to write and share her work with others.

Students nationwide need a renaissance of writing skills inspired by good teachers who understand the importance of the written word.

Words from Great Writers

-- "You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you." Ray Bradbury, Zen in the Art of Writing

--"The road to hell is paved with adverbs." Stephen King

-- "Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass." Anton Chekhov

"Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on." Louis L'Amour

As it stands, when writing becomes a lost art civilization will sink into an ignorant morass with no records to read about what happened.

An Upside-Down World Where Down is Up

You'd be wrong if you thought that sloths live in an upside-down world. They're world is right-side up to them and we're the confused ones.

Like the Republican party where GOP congressman today are trying to institute a bill - the so-called Children Sexualization Act - that will prevent liberals paying strippers to dance in front of our school children!

In the real world there's never been one case of schools or state governments funding strippers to do the hoochie-couchie for students from kindergarten thru high school. That ridiculous assertion doesn't bother the MAGA morons, however. They truly live in an upside-down world.

This crazed attempt won't go anywhere this time, the democrats still have the House and probably won't even allow it to come to the floor. But, if those same MAGA morons win back the House we can expect to see these kinds of bills introduced daily.

I think it's important to understand reality is no long a safety rail in our society where millions of Americans are doing mental handstands rather than be confronted with the truth and reality.

It's not easy standing your ground against so many lies, and so much hate and racism. Real conservative Republicans have found that out after rebuking Trump and his minions for their part in the Jan.6 insurrection. Their careers are over.

Back in the day native American's were quite liberal in some ways. For example, when it came to dealing with members who were off their rockers, they called them "Contraries" and gave them a space in their society.

Contraries walked backward, said no instead of yes (and vice versa) in reply to questions, frowned when they were happy, and basically did the opposite of everything.

Sound familiar?

The only problem with our modern-day contraries is they don't live peacefully with the rest of us. Instead, their goal is to turn us all upside-down and to turn America into an authoritarian utopia.

As it stands, people like you and me must maintain our balance in this topsy-turvy world we live in and be defenders of reality and truth.

American Psychiatric Association Announces New Litmus Test for Crazies

Let's face it. 

It's not easy to tell who's crazy by just looking at them.

Especially nowadays when people run around wearing political cosplay costumes.

The only way to fully determine if someone is short a couple of bottles of a six-pack is to ask them some basic questions. 

After seeking advice from the American Psychiatric Assocation they shared an updated litmus test that I'm passing on to you.

Some core questions to ask:

1. Who is the president of the United States?

This is one of the quickest and most reliable ways of knowing if a person is a dimwit.

2. Is Trump the son of God?

Be prepared to hear blasphemy if you ask this. It's a surefire way to judge just how crazy they are.

3. What year is it?

Sounds too easy, doesn't it? Well guess what? When they start talking about 2020 you caught them red-handed.

4. Should there be more gun safety laws?

Keep a good distance when you ask this question and wear a bullet-proof vest. A normal person wouldn't pull an AR-15 to answer.

5. Is the earth round?

I know. Too easy. Crazies always feel strongly about their flat earth beliefs.

6. Describe what the American flag looks like.

If there's one thing crazies love, it's desecrating the national flag. A crazy will display numerous examples of Trump's fat orange face surrounded in stars and stripes.

Once you've determined your talking with a crazy here's some suggestions:

** Run away as fast as you can!

** Don't stop running.

** Smile pleasantly and suddenly say "Squirrel!" When they look. Run.

** Offer them a cheeseburger or a chicken wing from KFC to go away.

** Back away slowly smiling stupidly (it soothes them) while determining where the quickest escape route is.

** Agree with everything they say and even drool a little to put them at ease.

As it stands, those savvy shrinks emphasized that humor was the best medicine and .... defense!

Things That Make no Sense, but We Still Have to Live with Them

The only things that make sense to me anymore are my pets. 

Their straightforward companions, loyal and they know how to have a good time. 

I roll my eyes in disgust when I hear about the stock market suddenly going boffo because corporations reported obscene profits which translates to growing inflation for the rest of the poor souls in the nation. 

How does anyone make sense of these contradictory sets of statistics that are only decipherable by cryptographers and bankers? 

Moving on.

Despite being legal (medical and recreational) in most states today, Marijuana is still rated as deadly as heroin and fentanyl by the federal government. It's classified as a Schedule 1 drug. The baddest of the bad.

Not only does it not make sense it's a stupid relic from the Demon Weed Days of Reefer Madness. A reminder of another madness that sent millions of Americans to jails for sparking up hooties and packing pipes with cannabis.

President Biden recently freed marijuana smokers (not dealers) who were locked up in prison with an executive action that could someday lead to complete normalization. Don't hold your breath, however.

Moving on.

It's doesn't make sense watching golf courses daily watering acres of land in California during an ongoing drought. 

Southern Californian residents are being paid to dig up their lawns in a desperate attempt to conserve the dwindling water supplies... but it's okay for golf courses to squander water!

Environmentally it makes no sense, but the rich and famous don't want to give up their entertainment (nor modify it) for the sake of others' lives.

Moving on.

The wild conspiracies that blanket our society daily don't have to make sense. They're about poisoning minds. People can't seem to stop their spread. The result is idiocracy reigns.

It'll never make sense to me why we can't just set all of our clocks at the same time and be done with it. I've heard all the feeble reasons why we can't and their too ridiculous to repeat here.

We could if Congress and the states got their shit together but that's as about as likely as Trump confessing to all of the lies he told while squatting in the White House like a bloated orange toad for four years. 

I'll never understand how millions of Americans have put the most corrupt president in our history onto a pedestal where he can do no wrong even as he dismantles our democracy in little ways daily. 

As it stands, one of the disappointments of growing older is the increasing amounts of things that make no sense in your world. Instead of revelations with age you find there's even more senseless things than ever before.

Midterms: Watching for an Impending Political Train Wreck

On a moonless night in America two trains are heading for a political collision... a red train and a blue train.

The American audience is watching for the possibility of impending disaster from their TV sets and computers with fear and loathing. The midterms are coming, and no one really knows what to expect. What to believe. Who to believe. Or cares.

I'm reminded of the old silent films and their cliff hanger endings that kept people coming back to theatres despite the poor economy. They couldn't wait to see what happened to their hero/heroine.

They wanted to see if the hero could untie the fair damsel in time before the train rolled over them both and turned them into pancakes.

The surreal political world we now live in doesn't have guardrails to protect the public. The free flow of disinformation and misinformation is threatening to derail democracy in the November midterms.

October 2022. The two trains chug on towards the same depot - the voting center. 

They carry with them passengers with two wildly different views for what America should look like in the future. 

Pundits try to predict which train is longer, but it's impossible to tell yet as they hurdle down the tracks during the moonless night toward election day.

Both trains fear being derailed before November 8. Many obstacles still remain for both before the race is over and they can discharge their passengers to cast their votes.

When the votes are counted and announced we'll discover which train - the red (Fascists) or blue (Democrats) -prevailed and what that means for America. Democracy or Fascism?  

As it stands, hopefully the good guys (that would be the democrats) prevail like in those old silent films I mentioned earlier. 

A Call to Today's Younger Generation for Help from an Old Hippie

I'm passing on a sacred mantel today to America's youth who are old enough to vote in the upcoming midterms.

This mantel was woven by young Americans in the 70s who united to protest against the war in Vietnam and on marijuana. We declared war on a criminally flawed administration.

We gathered in in streets of San Francisco, New York, Oakland, and Berkeley to protest an administration that we felt was morally corrupt. Many Americans mocked us and called us stupid hippies because we believed in peace, not war.

But we stood firm.

We weren't going to be bullied by the crooked regime that used all of its powers to hunt us down and jail us with fake charges and laws attempting to take away our freedoms. 

Fun fact: all hippies didn't have long hair.

Remember the Mayday Protest in 1971 when citizens used the nation's capital as the ground on which to stage their disapproval?

It was a glorious day. A riot of youth and flowers where thousands of hippies camped out in masses on the edges of downtown Washington on May 2, 1971.

They chose places that enabled them to spread out along the entrances to the city as quickly as possible the next day.

Traffic was stopped for a few hours.

Later former CIA director Richard Helms remarked that Mayday was "one of the things that was putting increasing pressure on the Nixon administration to try and find some way to get out of the war."

I recall the rallies (Hell No! We won't go!) and the long-haired young men and women with flowers in their hair who at the time didn't realize the important role they each played in American history.

They were doing what they believed was right. They fought for individual freedoms and equality among races.

I look in the mirror today and I still see that long-haired rebel that believes in personal freedoms. But that was over 50 years ago and I'm slowing down now. 

I cherish my right to vote more than ever even if I can't physically attend rallies. But I'm worried that there's just not enough of us old hippies to lead democrats to victory in November.

All the election pundits seem to agree that the democrats only chance of not losing their majority in Congress lies with YOUNG VOTERS. That's you. The silent one's who don't respond to polls.

We know women are motivated and will turn out in great numbers because of the abortion issue. I'm counting on that. Still, it's not enough.

Campaigning against the negative headlines of inflation is an uphill battle for democrats which is giving the MAGA morons an edge in the closing weeks.

So, I'm asking all of you young voters to take this mantel - with its glorious history of making change - and wrap it around you. Talk with each other. I know you face numerous challenges in today's society my generation never dreamed of.

But we must not let Trump and his corrupt minions running for office establish any more footholds in our democratic process. They've already done enough damage.

Wear your Tye-dyed t-shirts to the ballot boxes or if you're voting by mail spark a bowl after you send it! 

Don't forget, your hippie predecessors also fought so you could legally smoke weed. The good fight continues.

As it stands, America needs you now more than ever. Your vote counts. 

It's Came Like a Thief in the Night - What We Should Be Prepared For

Photo - "As a thief in the night (COVID-19) by Du Lac

On October 7 there were early signs a new U.S. COVID surge could be on its way, according to a recent report published by the Harvard T.H. Chan School of National Health.

Americans like me have been letting our guard down since the pandemic was officially declared under control. We quit washing hands frequently, muffling our sneezes and coughs with our elbows, and masking in big crowds and indoors. 

The result? Personally, my wife and I, are both fully vaccinated and boosted, but we caught COVID-19. It came like a thief in the night and before we knew it, we felt like we had the mother of all flu bugs. But then we tested ourselves and found the culprit. 

She's had COVID for seven days and is still struggling. I'm on my third day and desperately trying to rally my strength after losing ten pounds (FYI it's not a recommended way to lose weight). 

The kicker is my 94-year-old dad lives with us and has daily medical needs. He's not in the best of health (but is fully vaccinated and boosted). We also tested him, and he has COVID-19 too. 

Worse yet... the Oregon Department of Health says he's too old to get the new anti-viral treatment. WTF? I guess you get written off at a certain age in our society!

Meeting our daily challenges while sick as dogs that got ahold of some bad meat has been difficult... to say the very least.

We can't have friends or family in the house for fear they'll get infected. I worry about my dad. In my fevered mind it's like being on a death watch. 

Here's What's Happening Around the Country

There's been an uptick in COVID-19 cases and hospitalizations, according to NPR. Experts are scratching their bald heads (most are bald you know) and don't know if we should be worried about a winter surge in the country or not?

Here's a thought; if people get the new bivalent vaccine, it could keep the numbers down... the rest of the story is only 8 million Americans have gotten the new vaccine which leaves 200 million people at risk.

President Biden succumbed to politics when he declared the pandemic was over. It's just not true. Instead, he should have warned people to be vigilant, and go back to safe practices because there was a chance COVID could come back this winter.

I sincerely hope the Biden administration can look past the upcoming midterms and concentrate on things like having a secure supply chain of vaccine and ways to deliver it to the public when we need it the most.

As it stands, have you seen any warnings from the national health departments about the need to get vaccinated ASAP? That's what I thought. Neither have I.

Trump Must Be Indicted for All of His Crimes!

              Republicans just don't care.

About truth.

About justice.

About honor. 

About democracy. 

About accountability.

About women's rights.

About threatening election workers.

They're proving all of that and more during the midterm elections by fielding a cadre of election deniers.

The GOP is so desperate to take back the House and Senate that their backing candidates like Hershel Walker whose been caught lying so often he could give a master's course in it.

But the GOP doesn't care if he paid for an abortion, beat up his wife repeatedly and held a gun to her head. Their swallowing their own bile to win in order to regain power.

Related: Trump Planned and Directed the Whole Damn Thing - Why is Anybody still Defending Him?

There's no choice: Trump Must Be Indicted to Preserve Democracy!

There's no GOP agenda to make America a safe democracy. Their agenda is revenge and seeing to it we have a fascist state led by a former president and TV host.

Americans like me are worried about the consequences. We're a tense nation teetering on near panic at the thought of the GOP regaining power in Congress.

We can't trust the polls. They're useless. These are the midterm blues. There's a good chance we're on the highway to hell, however.

Related: Russia Link to Trump Documents Means it's a matter of "when", Not If" He is Indicted

The only hope - and I mean our ONLY hope - is a record turnout of democratic women and young voters. A blue wave. It could happen. It must happen.

It will happen if you care about our republic and vote! If you're not registered yet, do it now.

As it stands... please vote!

Halloween is a Bigly Con Job Fronted by Pumpkins

I'm not going to bore you with the history of Halloween.

Who really cares?

For reasons never clear to me pumpkins are the most common image associated with Halloween. Skeletons and witches are secondary symbols but the Great Pumpkin (watch Charlie Brown's quest to find the Great Pumpkin here) is a centerpiece for the holiday.

Halloween is a commercial rip off that began with a schoolteacher giving students candy and letting them dress up in odd clothing so the little rascals would have something to do on Halloween instead of vandalizing neighborhoods. As years went by kids went "Trick or Treating" ... and still vandalized neighborhoods.

When Halloween grew more popular over the years capitalists saw a great opportunity to make lots of money. 

Halloween grew into a major industry offering scary costumes, Jack-O-Lanterns (one of the pumpkins rolls) carved into hideous and hilarious faces, and mountains of candies from Sweet and Sour witches and skeletons to chocolate monsters. The holiday was a dream come true for the candy industry.

Try asking someone what Halloween is all about? I'm sure you'll be amused by the answers.

Check One

A. A way for corporations to make big money.

B. Candy

C. Pumpkins

D. An opportunity to dress up in weird costumes and roam neighborhoods seeking candy and trouble.

E. Parties where children and adults play stupid games in outlandish costumes.

F. I don't know, nor do I want to know. 

Halloween Tales & Traditions

An Irish myth about a man nicknamed "Stringy Jack" is believed to have led to the tradition of carving scary faces on pumpkins.

Here's a link for Halloween stories for 1st graders through 8th grade. If you ask adults, they say Halloween is for kids. Don't believe them! They lie.

Adults go out of their way to watch horror movies hoping that they'll scare the shit out of them! Adult-themed Halloween parties get more popular every year. Naughty nurses are a standard theme for women. The guys enjoy dressing up like Dracula sucking up alcohol instead of blood.

As it stands, the whole holiday is a national con job fronted by pumpkins for corporations who keep finding innovative ways to cash in on America's second biggest holiday of the year.

Why Young Boys Need to Learn How to Cook

Growing up my high school had a Home Economics class. 

Despite the fact boys could enroll in it, no boys in my class ever took the course.

It helps to understand that back in the 50s and 60s being a young male meant being ultra-macho and leaving cooking and housekeeping up to the girls.

Little boys played with weapons of war, trucks and cars. Little girls played with dolls and pretend ovens that turned out bland cookies and mini cakes.

Fast forward.

As my wife Shirley and I's three boys grew up, she made sure "Her" boys knew how to cook. She was determined to make them self-supporting men in all ways, including how to cook meals.

Lucky for them the mid 70's didn't emphasize toxic masculinity, and young men were cooking in communes. I'm not sure if there were Home Economics Classes when they attended school. 

But our boys had a private tutor (Mom) that meant to teach them about the mysteries of cooking. She taught them the basics of cooking and let them use their imagination. They all loved the opportunity and weren't shy to share their skills with friends.

All three of our boys are now first-class cooks and are proud to share their creations in family gatherings. None cook for a living. However, if they wanted to, they could.

I admit that I was no for model for them when it came to cooking. I couldn't boil water without a problem. Sometimes it came down to me (and the boys) to make a meal if Shirley was sick and unable too. Luckily for us all, she was a healthy young thing, and it didn't happen too often.

After I came back from Vietnam, and we were dating, Shirley was stunned to see how I ate. My little apartment contained can food and frozen dinners. That was it. And I still had a bad habit of eating straight from the can. Pork and beans for instance.

Realizing you can't teach an old dog new tricks Shirley took it upon herself to feed me real food. That's probably when she decided that if we had boys, she'd be sure they could cook.

As far as I know there's no longer a stigma for boys/men to cook. As a matter of fact, it's become a matter of pride to be a good cook. Go to a Bar-b-que competition and most of the entrants are men.

As it stands, young boys should be given the same opportunity to learn how to cook as young girls as they grow up. Self-sufficiency is a good thing for everybody. 

Liars Have Nothing to Be Ashamed About in the Trump Era

Liars throughout America were emancipated in 2016 when Trump slunk into the White House with the help of Russia.

Liars are mainstreamed now right alongside truth tellers. The liars network aka Trump and minions proudly tell lies and defy truthtellers who are overwhelmed trying to debunk them daily.

Once (was it really that long ago?) liars were scorned when exposed in public. Now lying is a basic credential for MAGA morons and their vile sidekicks QAnon idiots.

The Republican Party is a House of Lies. It's their own damn fault by allowing a cult to overwhelm real conservatives. Authorism has seeped into the once Republican agenda and turned the party into predators' intent on a destroying our democracy.

Maga morons are competitive heading into the midterms with hypocrisy and lies as standard political speeches spurring on like-minded fascists in their campaigns.

Think about it. Why would Republicans be ashamed for outright lying to gain power when it's working? "The only thing worse than a liar is a liar that's also a hypocrite," Tennessee Williams once said.

Liars' tactics start with making falsehoods appear to be the truth and ends with making truth itself appear like a falsehood. It's a simple and effective approach to lure the sheep into the cult. 

Here's a brilliant quote by Anne Applebaum, "Sometimes the point isn't to make people believe a lie - it's to make people fear the liar."

That's what we're seeing today. Trump's ability to scare the hell out of his devotees to do his bidding is being copied by the MAGA rats running for office and those already in power.

Liars are so respected in MAGA Land that they have a club - it's called Mar-a-Lago. Liars also make top dollar in the far-right media like Fox and Newsmax.

Once people hesitated to call out a person in a professional environment because they felt guilty for being suspicious. 

To some it was a frightening proposition at best. But now we can't afford to let the liars go unchallenged for the sake of the republic.

As it stands, it's impossible to lie every day and still have a conscience.

When You Wish Upon a Star and Reality Slaps You in the Face

I remember seeing the classic Disney movie Pinocchio when I was kid, and how inspired I was by the song "When you wish upon a star." 

I can't tell you how many stars I wished on over the years.

What's relevant is that none of those wishes were granted. I admit to still wishing upon a star now and then despite that fact. Maybe I'm a dreamer. Or a kid who never grew up.

I recall wishing the same wish every night (regardless of the weather) throughout the 2016 presidential campaign, "Please don't let Trump win."

Right up until the end it looked bad for Donnie but then reality slapped me (and most of the country) in the face. The unthinkable happened. Trump won.

I finally had to concede wishing is a waste of time although I still find myself peeking out windows searching the night sky for deliverance.

I've tried wishing wells tossing in my loose change when I came upon one. It didn't take long to realize I wasn't getting my money's worth. Not one wish was granted.

It didn't me long to realize that rabbit's feet keychains were not lucky for me or the rabbit.

Because I strive to be an optimist, I still do wishful thinking where I allow my imagination some playtime. Otherwise, if I didn't the pessimistic side of my nature would assert itself.

To be clear. I'm not encouraging anyone to quit wishing upon stars or anything else. I've found wishing is a positive thing. It temporarily puts us in a good place.

Just don't count on your wishes coming true. That's taking it a step too far.

As it stands, hope and wishes are two different things. One is based upon some empirical evidence, and the other one on a Disney movie.

Pollsters Think They Can Predict the Future - News Alert! They Can't

There were no pollsters back in the day. 

From the earliest civilizations humanity depended upon seers and shamans to predict future events. The actually held honored positions in society.

Those soothsayers are still around, but they have a limited audience because of pollsters. In America thanks to the first Gallup Poll 65 years ago pollsters have been disappointing us with inaccurate predictions.

Fact. Polls are always wrong.

A modern example...

In the weeks leading up to the November 2016 election, polls across the country predicted an easy sweep for the Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton. We all know how that turned out. Four years of Trump trying to destroy democracy.

One of the things I learned in college was not to trust polls. There are so many variables in the methodology that it's impossible to guarantee accurate results. When a pollster's prediction does turn out to be right, they hail their accurate scientific methods as the result.

Note: pollsters are optimists and dreamers who share their personal polling methods with politicians and the public.

Just don't bet on pollsters. You'd probably do better betting on the horses. I've seen people absolutely devasted when the polls they were following were wrong, and their candidate lost. Once again think about the 2016 election.

More people mourned the results in that election than ones who celebrated their unexpected windfall, as evidenced by Clinton winning the popular vote.

Political pundits talk about submerged voters. It's a cute way of saying there are voters who don't respond to telephone polling or online polling. 

They tend to be conservatives and Independents like me who don't want to waste their time answering senseless questions about upcoming elections and candidates. Apparently, Democrats are more likely to respond to pollsters according to a poll... if you believe the poll is right.

I mentioned earlier that prophets and seers were often honored in their communities. If modern pollsters want to gain that status in society, they're going to have to gin up their act.

Some suggestions.

Pollsters need to jazz up their appearance. Purple robes, a coned hat, and wands should be mandatory. 

Pollsters should take a tip from shamans and make their predictions so hard to understand that people are left puzzling them out.

Pollsters need to expand their act in public with fireworks and acrobats leading up to the arrival of a posh-looking smooth-talking pollster.

Pollsters only get paid if their predictions are right.

As it stands, my prediction for the midterms is someone is going to win... and someone is going to lose. You can take that to the bank.

The Joys and Sorrows of Being a True Sports Fan

The following is an insider's observations (Photo of me above) on sports fans.

My credentials consist of Laker memorabilia covering four walls, the ceiling, and displayed in bookcases and glass cabinets of my Laker Room. I've been a Los Angeles Laker fan since 1962.

The Joys of Being a Sports Fan

True fans take on a team's identity and consider themselves both players and coaches. Some go as far as adopting players and giving them advise while watching them compete.

When their team wins the pure joy is like a shot of adrenaline for 24-hours. Fans of the same team gather in front of TVs and arenas nationwide like packs of feral dogs swilling beer and other alcoholic beverages.

A win is a time for celebration and to brag about how good your team is. Smack talk reverberates on the internet like a swarm of bees as game winners metaphorically strut around the web like a rooster who added another hen to his harem.

True fans favorite source of entertainment is talking about their team's player statistics and history. The sense of belonging, knowing there are other crazy people who spend too much time on sports, is a fantastic experience.

The Sorrows of Being a Sports Fan

When your team loses a game, you drape black curtains on the windows and are unapproachable for a long period of time.

True fans also hold mock wakes after their team loses followed by an autopsy seeking answers to the tragedy. 

It's not unheard of for fans to believe a conspiracy is afoot when their team loses a game. They're convinced the other side has cheated or the team's front office has been taken over by chimps in MAGA hats.

The stigma among sports fans who follow a losing team is brutal as other fans ridicule their team regardless of if it wins or loses. 

The sense of loss is acute when the superstar of a team goes down and is out for the season. That kind of blow leaves fans mindlessly drooling and complaining about the fickle finger of fate.

Some Last Thoughts About Sports Fans

**People who marry true sports fans must truly be in love and also be ready when their mate acts like a pissed-off juvenile when their team loses a game.

**Sports fans can be moody on game day.

**Sports fans often binge on junk foods during games.

**It's not unusual for sport fans to drink alcohol before, during, and after a game to gin up the excitement. 

**Never interrupt a sports fan during a game or you'll suffer their wrath and hours of whining.

As it stands, our society is stocked with sports fans who finance professional sports. Without them there would be no teams to root for.

Lessons I Learned from Other Species

My experience with inside knowledge of other species includes having the following pets: cats, dogs, a monkey, a goat, chickens, rabbits, and a hamster named Zig Zag.

Lessons I Learned

Cats - have dual personalities, cuddly one moment and a feline version of Edward Scissorhands the next. Most aren't particularly social and can be really rude. They taught me to always look for a super comfortable place to sleep.  

Dogs - Have taught me what loyalty really is. I discovered they have superpowers. They can tell if you're sick with something, if you are tense, sad, or scared. They willingly give up their lives to save you from danger. They taught me to be goofy.

A Monkey - I had one in Vietnam named George. His curiosity was endless inspiring me to be snoopy. Monkeys are great mimes and are good partners when playing charades.

A Goat - My goat's name was Stonewall Jackson and he loved sneaking up behind you and butting your ass out of sheer orneriness. I learned how to be stubborn as a rock. He also demonstrated how to get along with other species - like his best buddy a chicken.

Chickens - Taught me what a pecking order is. They also demonstrated how roosters are good dads by protecting their feathered harem and chicks 24-hours a day. 

Rabbits - As a toddler they inspired me to jump which led to a love of basketball. They taught me to be more passive and to not going around bullying others unless I wanted to end up in a stew.

A Hamster - a week after I married the prettiest girl in the world, we bought a hamster and named him Zig Zag. He never stopped moving. At night we'd hear his little Ferris wheel spinning furiously as he sought a distant land. He taught us you can't be going day and night without bad results. We found him one morning silently laying inside the Ferris wheel. We think he had a heart attack. Lesson learned.

My extensive knowledge of other species has also come from visiting zoos and watching National Geographic. 

Hints about some other species

**Don't try to pet a shark as they are perpetually pissed off. 

**Don't corner a skunk.

**Don't screw around with a Honey Badger because they will chase you to the gates of hell.

**Don't trust primates because they are too much like humans with bad habits.

**Don't try to outswim a crocodile.

**Don't bother trying to out stare an owl.

**Don't try to teach giant sea turtles' tricks. Their slow learners and will probably outlive you. 

**Don't get into an eating contest with a pregnant 300-pound sow.

As it stands, I hope you find this post educational and don't think I'm writing from a padded cell!

Oh, Poor Me! Pity Club Chapter Accepting Members

You're probably wondering what a Pity Club is all about? 

And how can you join?

You came to the right place.

The Oh, Poor Me chapter of Pity Club offers members an opportunity to tell a sympathetic group how rough your life is. Each member gets ten-minute outbursts. Once everyone gets a turn another round is kicked off if there's still time.

What Are the Rules?

-Members pay $20.00 a meeting towards a jackpot. At the end of the session the person with the most pathetic stories (a vote is taken) wins the jackpot.

-Yearly membership is $1,200. One of the benefits is a card that gives discounts for all Oh, Poor Me Pity Club merchandize like coffee cups and t-shirts.  

-No interrupting the speaker when they are sharing their sorrows.

-The oldest person in the group is the moderator and president because they have the most experiences to complain about.

Why Join a Group of Whinners?

Have you ever tried telling a family member or friend why they should pity your rough life? It doesn't always hold their attention, or in many cases their just tired of hearing your daily complaints.

So, where do you go to get some respect for your miserable life? Join The Oh, Poor Me chapter of the soon to be international Pity Club.

Group Activities

Once a month the group gathers at a nearby park to play games like Corn Hole or Croquet.

The winners have to listen to the losers' complaints about cheating or having sudden muscle spasms that threw their aim off.

Every Sunday the group has a Bar-B-Que with all the fixings. Each member shares their most humiliating moments while attending past family Bar-B-Ques.

Future Club Goals

-Form a singing group that can travel to Pity Club conventions. Suggested name, "The Whinners."

-Members all learn to get people to pity them in another language.

-Members willing to travel abroad and spread the Pity story across the planet.

-Achieving tax-exempt status by claiming complaining is a sacrament in their church.  

As it stands, I'm wrapping this post up with a quote by Debbie Macomber (Mrs. Miracle), "It's all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again. Just be sure to flush when you are finished." 

You Know It's Time for a Change When...

 

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change you attitude." - Maya Angelou

You know it's time for a change when...

** ...the cat box stinks so bad the wall changes color.

** ...your favorite pair of shoes falls apart, and your toes stick out.

**...your socks are so dirty and stiff after you take them off, they walk away on their own.

**...you cry during comedies and laugh at slasher movies.

**...your mind is so warped you believe everything Trump says.

**...indoor movie theatres post disclaimers - "No guarantee a crazed killer won't stop by."

**...people who walk by you hold their noses.

**...your audiences keep walking out before you finish your act.

**...you lose an election for city Dog Catcher to a cat.

**...you've been robbed while working in the same liquor store at least twice a week for a year.

**...people won't take you seriously because you dyed your face blue and implanted peacock feathers on the top of your skull.

**...your young children don't believe in the "Tooth Fairy" anymore and go directly to you for money.

**...corrupt justices in the Supreme Court take away people's rights and freedoms.

**...if your political party believes in Jewish Space Lasers, taking away women's rights, and QAnon conspiracies.

**...TV characters are talking to you, and you can't get a word in edgewise.

**...your best friend's wife/husband comes on sexually to you. 

**...the big Men in White Jackets come to visit you.

As it stands, while writing this post I discovered Heraclitus wrote, "The only constant change in life is change."