Wednesday, October 5, 2022

Oh, Poor Me! Pity Club Chapter Accepting Members

You're probably wondering what a Pity Club is all about? 

And how can you join?

You came to the right place.

The Oh, Poor Me chapter of Pity Club offers members an opportunity to tell a sympathetic group how rough your life is. Each member gets ten-minute outbursts. Once everyone gets a turn another round is kicked off if there's still time.

What Are the Rules?

-Members pay $20.00 a meeting towards a jackpot. At the end of the session the person with the most pathetic stories (a vote is taken) wins the jackpot.

-Yearly membership is $1,200. One of the benefits is a card that gives discounts for all Oh, Poor Me Pity Club merchandize like coffee cups and t-shirts.  

-No interrupting the speaker when they are sharing their sorrows.

-The oldest person in the group is the moderator and president because they have the most experiences to complain about.

Why Join a Group of Whinners?

Have you ever tried telling a family member or friend why they should pity your rough life? It doesn't always hold their attention, or in many cases their just tired of hearing your daily complaints.

So, where do you go to get some respect for your miserable life? Join The Oh, Poor Me chapter of the soon to be international Pity Club.

Group Activities

Once a month the group gathers at a nearby park to play games like Corn Hole or Croquet.

The winners have to listen to the losers' complaints about cheating or having sudden muscle spasms that threw their aim off.

Every Sunday the group has a Bar-B-Que with all the fixings. Each member shares their most humiliating moments while attending past family Bar-B-Ques.

Future Club Goals

-Form a singing group that can travel to Pity Club conventions. Suggested name, "The Whinners."

-Members all learn to get people to pity them in another language.

-Members willing to travel abroad and spread the Pity story across the planet.

-Achieving tax-exempt status by claiming complaining is a sacrament in their church.  

As it stands, I'm wrapping this post up with a quote by Debbie Macomber (Mrs. Miracle), "It's all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again. Just be sure to flush when you are finished." 

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