Be prepared for the biggest election theatre of the absurd in history as a dozen Republicans vie for being the next president of the United States.
Clown cars of candidates are going to Iowa like it's the promised land. Their race for president already has historic firsts and the show is just starting to pick up steam.
Let's set the stage for the actors involved.
* Top of the list of political performers is Trump a criminally indicted former president who tried to overthrow our electoral system and is seeking an Oval Office comeback.
* Florida governor Ron DeSantis is considered Trump's main competition. He's been positioning himself as a national figure by championing far-right causes. He's best known for attacking the state's school systems and forcing them to ignore large chunks of American history because it might upset some white boy or girl.
* Then there's the biggest milksop in the Republican Party former vice president Mike Pence. His status as a chicken shit was firmly established when he defended Trump after being attacked by a mob riled up by Trump who were looking to lynch him.
* The only female candidate running in this circus Nikki Haley has some political chops. She was a twice-elected governor and a cabinet member during Trump's regime. Her constantly shifting views of Trump are hard to keep up with.
* A swell of businessmen is tossing their hats into the main tent. People like Ryan Binkley (say who?) a Dallas-area businessman and non-denominational pastor. He wants to be a peacemaker in a den of MAGArats. Good luck with that.
* There's no shortage of conservative media personalities like Larry Elder who ran against Gavin Newsome and lost. His strong point is siding with political extremists.
* Saying he's running an underdog presidential bid Asa Hutchinson is another two-term governor (Arkansas), former U.S. attorney, congressman and DEA administrator. He probably has too much experience for the MAGA crowd looking for one of their own. Oh, yeah! He's not afraid of Trump like most of the rest of the worms are.
* Nothing like a self-described "quality guru" (what the hell is that?) to give some spice to the race and Perry Johnson fits the bill. He has no experience in politics which will probably work in his favor.
* Another billionaire, former pharmaceutical company CEO Vivek Ramaswamy is self-funding his campaign and running an anti-woke agenda. (I hope someone asks him what woke means).
* The GOP loves this next candidate because he's a favorite of the donor class. Like Haley, Tim Scott hails from South Carolina. His connections to Oracle's Larry Ellison and the Kock network automatically elevate his game.
* It seems to be the time for twice-elected governors to try their hand in the game with Doug Burgum (North Dakota) as the latest example. He doesn't have a national profile but is hoping for the party's primary debates to launch his effort. Besides if he loses, he can still run for governor a third time due to a grandfather clause in the state's laws.
*One-time Trump ally, former New Jersey governor Chris Christie has joined the clown show and he plans to be Trump's loudest critic. It's pretty obvious he's not going to pry away Trump's cult followers. One of the reasons he qualifies is ability to lie without blinking at eye.
Some who may get in the race:
* Another conservative talk-radio personality (there's no shortage of them in the country), Mike Rodgers, who was also once the chairman of the House Intelligence Committee in 2014 is tossing his tin hat into the main tent. He doesn't stand a snowballs chance of surviving in a desert.
* Another governor has been quietly making the rounds in the national media testing out his electability. Chris Sununu the popular governor of New Hampshire. He's probably too moderate for the rabid GOP party. He's also another anti-Trump guy.
So, sit back, pull out a bag of popcorn and be prepared for what will surely be the nastiest GOP primaries in anyone's memory.
As it stands, if Trump wins it's possible he'll be running a campaign from jail like Eugene Debs did in 1920.