Monday, March 12, 2012

Things people say: Ordinary people can be drop dead funny

                 Good Day Humboldt County!

Are you ready to walk down a road that will leave you laughing every step of the way? Do you want an infusion of humor to set the tone for the paths you must pursue today?

For the most part, the humor is unrehearsed and unintentional. Hundreds of quotations are listed below. There are lines spoken by people intending to say something else. There are lines spoken by people who misunderstood something or other. They may or may not have known any better. The intricacies of human language may have fouled them up, or perhaps unfortunate slips of the tongue led them to ignominy. Whatever the case, there's a lot to laugh at:

                                                           Slips and Gaffes
  • Accident Reports -- Descriptions of accidents as written on insurance claim forms.
  • Excuse Letters -- Letters from parents to teachers, excusing their children from school.
  • Courtroom Quotations -- Lawyers take ridiculous steps to be thorough.
  • Patient Charts -- Doctors' remarks on patient charts.
  • Church Bulletins -- Unfortunately phrased announcements in church bulletins.
  • Classified Ads -- Classified ads that don't necessarily say what they were intended to.
  •  News Reports -- Newspapers, radio, and television garble news reports.
                                                               Things Kids Say
                                                               Famous People
  • Yogi Berra -- Verbal blunders from one of baseball's legends.
  • Samuel Goldwyn -- Verbal blunders from the famous movie mogul.
  • Eugene Ormandy -- Verbal blunders from the famous orchestra conductor.
  • Murray Walker -- Verbal blunders from the famous motor racing commentator.
  • John Madden -- Verbal blunders from the famous football commentator.
  • Dan Quayle -- Verbal blunders from a notorious former Vice President.
  • Other Famous People -- Verbal blunders from an assortment of other celebrities and political figures.

                             Source: “Things People Said” is a RinkWorks production.

Time for me to walk on down the road…

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