Good Day World!
Background music playing Bennie and the Jets.
There's pouring rain outside Trump's Bedminster Golf Course and he's feeling gloomy on Sunday. As his little fingers send out hateful tweets he hears a sound outside...
It's the roar of 180 motorcycles just outside his window! He's so exciting that he stops mid tweet and opens up the curtains and sees the Bikers For Trump motorcycle club waving at him.
He skips about in glee and tells his security people to bring them inside to the ballroom. In one of Donny's wet dreams come true moment, the bikers burst in chanting "Four more Years!" and "USA."
What followed was a perverse love fest as Donny posed for selfies with the excited bikers. At one point he got them chanting, "Tell the truth!" to the few reporters in the room covering the event. It was classic Trump.
His mood improved considerably after having his boots licked by the slavish bikers who came to save his day.
One of the highlights of the visit came when Donny led them in the Pledge of Allegiance outside - during a break in the rain. It was such a touching moment I'm told, that two members of the press puked so hard they had to leave.
There was hardly a dry eye among the Trump cronies lingering around as he said, "Let's hear those engines!" and the roar filled the air with a sense of freedom and patriotism as they burnt rubber, screeching away into the New Jersey night.
Time for me to walk on down the road...