AS IT STANDS: Evolutionary social flaw? Why is it so much fun to be afraid?

By Dave Stancliff/For The Times-Standard
I’m fascinated by predators like lions, sharks, and lawyers. Stories about rats creep me out, but I continue to read them. I’ve got a hunch there are others like myself who get a perverse thrill from shuddering in terror.
Why else would authors like Stephen King be so popular? I remember watching the original black & white movie Frankenstein on late night television in 1960.

 Like most 10-year olds, I had an active imagination and couldn’t go to sleep afterwards. I nervously waited for the sun to rise, listening and waiting for Frankenstein to appear. I was sure he was lurking outside my room.
For some reason I thought no monster would dare appear during the day. I knew that was the case with werewolves and vampires, and just assumed Frankenstein was a nocturnal monster as well.
     Look at roller coasters. They’re all about scaring us witless. The combination of speed, sudden turns, and gravity defying dives nearly always produces screams of sheer terror from riders. Yet afterward, when the world stops spinning and stomachs stop churning, they get back in line for another go!

I’ll never forget my first Zombie movie. It was October 1968, and my best friend Tom (later to become my brother-in-law) and I went to a drive-in theater to see “The Night of the Living Dead.”
 For those of you who remember going to drive-in movies back then, the food was terrible. Probably the worst, but most popular item, was pizza. It was like eating cardboard with tomato sauce and cheese smeared frugally on top. We ordered one that night.
Ten minutes into the movie we stopped eating our pizza. Miraculously, our appetites disappeared as we watched people chewing on other people. By today’s standards the movie was tame. At the time, it was considered groundbreaking gore on the big screen and paved the way for countless other Zombie movies. Look at their popularity now.

Talking about scary movies, who can forget when “The Exorcist” came out in 1973? I can still see that disturbing image of demon possessed Linda Blair twisting her head completely around and snarling at the camera.

People liked being terrified by The Exorcist so much it reaped 10 academy award nominations and was the first horror movie ever up for Best Picture. “The Sting” won that year.

  I totally blame the movie “Jaws” (1975), for my fear of sharks. Prior to the movie I thought nothing of swimming at Huntington Beach, Redondo Beach, and numerous other beaches in Southern California. Haven’t been in the ocean since 1975.
I don’t care if the movie happened on the East Coast. We have plenty of Great White Sharks on the northern coast of California. There’s been more than  one incident here in Humboldt County of someone attacked by a Great White while surfing in our frigid waters.
  So why do I like being scared for entertainment? I have no idea. I know I’m not alone, however. Fear sells. Write about the world ending or a Zombie invasion of downtown Keokuk, Iowa,  and it’ll sell.
Of course, you’re going to have a lot of competition because countless others are also dreaming up terrifying global scenarios to scare our pants off. I read somewhere that because man has no dinosaurs chasing him around anymore, he misses that primal instinct of running for his life from something that wants him for dinner.

In other words, we need an adrenaline rush. People love visiting with lions or tigers while safely separated from their teeth and claws. The same goes for shark aquariums. Watching those cold eyes search for prey sends shudders up our spines.
 I think the most feared predators in our society today are lawyers. They look like you and me on the outside, but beneath those suits lurk soulless predators going for our money in court cases. 

 I’m only half-kidding here. Few things can scare people more than knowing their rival in a lawsuit has a high-powered (translation: unscrupulous) lawyer. How many times have you wondered if someone escaped justice by using a “good lawyer” (translation: one who is famous and wins every time)? That’s scary.
As It Stands, here’s an interesting thought; is our fascination with wanting to be scared an evolutionary social flaw that contributes to the violence in our violent society?

Reader’s Speak out about this column:

Dave,

I loved your Sunday column and agree completely--I think the reason people smoke cigarettes, for instance, is not in spite of the danger, but because of it--the moth drawn to the fire.

Cecelia Holland

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Websites carrying this column:

Redonda Beach News

Meet groundbreaking blogger Matthew Lee – a slob with a story

       Good Day World!

 Today’s topic is Matthew Lee, a unique blogger and pioneer in digital journalism. He’s sloppy and controversial. My kind of guy. Have you ever heard of him?

He’s an independent journalist whose muckraking coverage of the U.N. earned him profiles in the New Yorker and the New York Times has become a source of tension among the U.N. press corps — though he says he's been unfairly singled out by them because he refuses to conform.

On one side, traditional journalists at the UN have accused Matthew Lee of Inner City Press of making unwarranted attacks on them on his blog and to their employers, and along with U.N. officials, allege that he created a safety hazard with his very messy office (see photo).

Lee was one of the first bloggers ever given U.N. credentials. He's known for his aggressive questioning of U.N. officials, and when he was first accredited, his mainstream media colleagues seemed to respect him. The president of the UN Correspondents Association said at the time, "I don't see any difference in what he's doing and what we are doing."

Personally, I think Matthew Lee is Hunter S. Thompson reincarnated. He’s edgy. Maybe a little crazy. But he sure stirs shit up and is fun to read!

Time for me to walk on down the road….

Feeling Safe Still? Less air traffic controllers in America next month

Make sure to tell your congressman to kiss your ass today! Because he/she is part of a passel of idiots who are more concerned with brinksmanship than safety in the American skies. The result?

The sequester strikes! Now, we’ll get to see how safe it’s going to be at compromised airports. The Federal Aviation Administration released a final list Friday of 149 air traffic control facilities that it will close at small airports around the country starting early next month.

I hope that people who were use to flying the friendly skies safely are prepared to fly the “not-so safe” skies in the future. I don’t know about you, but the whole thing gives me a warm feeling…like when someone prods you with a Taser! 

Pepsi says it’s time for change and rolls out a new bottle

See this bottle? It’s design is brand new, and is the latest attempt by PepsiCo to gain back some of the market they’re losing to Coca-Cola in recent years.

The decades old competitors are American icons. Pepsi has done away with their old bottles that contained the beverage for 17 years. Yes, it’s the 21st century and things must change.

Change is good right? PepsiCo is hoping so!

Superstitions – take ‘em or leave ‘em, they’re here to stay

      Good Day World!

Today’s topic is superstitions. Everybody knows that if you spit on a new bat before using it for the first time it’ll be lucky…right?

 You didn’t know? Well, don’t feel too bad my friend, there’s a lot of superstitions. Tons of ‘em. I’ve got a list from A to Z right here for you to see.

Some examples of what you’ll run across when you click the link above:

* If your right ear itches, someone is speaking well of you. If your left ear itches, someone is speaking ill of you.

“Left for love and right for spite:
Left or right, good at night.”

* To dream of a lizard is a sign that you have a secret enemy.

* If you leave a rocking chair rocking when empty, it invites evil spirits to come into your house to sit in the rocking chair.

* Three seagulls flying together, directly overhead, are a warning of death soon to come.

* Seeing a spider run down a web in the afternoon means you'll take a trip.

* Weather -

“Red sky at night,
Sailor's delight.
Red sky at morning
Sailors take warning”

“Rain, rain, go away,
Come again another day.
Rain on the green grass
Rain on the hillside,
But not on me.”

* The number of Xs in the palm of your right hand is the number of children you will have.

Time for me to walk on down the road…

News stories that will leave you shaking you head …

         Good Day World!

Today’s topic is news stories that will leave you shaking your head. Either in surprise or wonder. The following offering of odd, offbeat, and main news is just a sampling of what’s out there. With no further ado, here’s today’s selections just for you!

The first story is about a family that bought a plain white, 5-inch, ceramic Chinese bowl.

As someone who watches American Pickers, Auction Kings, Storage Wars, and a slew of other programs that feature finding valuable objects I can tell you this garage sale find was the Holy Grail! Imagine this: three years ago you buy this bowl and just put it up on your fireplace mantle. Then one day you decide to see what it’s worth.

To your utter astonishment you find out your $3 garage sale pick is from the Northern Song Dynasty, which ruled China from 960 to 1127. It’s 1000 years old! But wait, it gets crazier: the only other known bowl of similar size and design has been in the collection of the British Museum for more than 60 years!

That’s right. You hit the mother load of all finds, because Sotheby’s auction house in New York sold your bowl for $2.2 million dollars!

Moving on:

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

A great lost and found story!

For anyone who has ever lost anything and been lucky enough to find it, this video is for you.

If you’ve lost something valuable and never found it, try watching this anyway and pretend that it could happen!

I’m particularly impressed by one man’s honesty, and if you want to know who – this video you’ll have to view!

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Surprise! Surprise! Remember when Gomer Pyle (Jim Nabors) use to say that to his high-octane, short-fused Gunnery Sergeant Vince Carter? Well, here’s a story about two police officers that recently got a big surprise! 

“Some Michigan police officers got a scare when a deer — spooked, probably wounded and apparently determined not to be roadkill — jumped out of the trunk of a parked car during an inspection!”

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For a short time during the 14-month bank-robbing spree of Depression-era bandit John Dillinger, his getaway car was the fast and flashy 1933 Essex Terraplane, known as the T8. It was unveiled yesterday at the Indianapolis International Airport.

For you crime history buffs, this exhibit can be the starting point for a local tour of Dillinger hotspots. Go here for all the information you’ll need to have a Dillinger vacation.

Time for me to walk on down the road…

 

RIP Harry Reems: You had a wild life!

Harry Reems, the former porn actor best known for his role in "Deep Throat," has died at the age of 65. First reported by his friend Don Schenk, Reems' death has been confirmed by Gawker. Schenk wrote that Reems died of pancreatic cancer at a VA hospital in his adopted home of Utah.

It was really Frank Willis Who Took Tricky Dicky Down!

           Good Day World!

Todays topic is a security guard named Frank Willis. You probably never heard of Frank. He was just a common guy doing his job when he stepped into destiny’s doorway and doomed the presidency of Richard M. Nixon!

Here’s an interesting take on his fleeting moment of fame from Cracked.com:

“There you are, getting ready for work, brushing your teeth, staring at the mirror, wondering if anyone is going to notice that zit... and then this thought kinda just pops into your head:

‘Today, I'm going to accidentally bring down the American government.’

Never happened to you? Security guard Frank Wills had no early warning either. With a hefty paycheck of $80 a week, Wills might have had good reason to believe he was well out of History's high beams. But in 1972, while patrolling the offices where the Democratic National Headquarters was, Frank noticed that little strips of tape was holding a few doors open. He tore them off. Coming back later, he saw that the tape had been replaced and, deciding that shenanigans were afoot, he called the police.

You all pretty much know the rest of the story. The burglars were arrested, tied to Nixon's re-election campaign and eventually, to the President himself. Amidst charges of massively illegal behavior, Nixon finally resigned in 1974, and was beaten to death in an alleyway behind a New Jersey Taco Bell.
No, wait. He became a bestselling author, and lived for years.

Wills, the hard working American who was just doing his job, managed to disintegrate into obscurity almost as quickly as he'd emerged. He played himself in the 1976 movie All the President's Men, but he didn't even get a raise for bringing down the government. In fact, when he left the job because they apparently refused to pay for vacation time, he found he couldn't get work anywhere else. One university told him that they didn't want the government to withhold funding because they'd hired him as a security guard.

Money went fast, and there wasn't a whole hell of a lot of it to begin with. He couldn't pay his electricity bill, couldn't afford to bury his mother, and had to wash his clothes in a goddamn bucket. And not one of those fancy golden buckets. In 1983, he was sentenced to a year in prison for shoplifting a pair of $13 shoes. And that was pretty much it until he died in 2000.”

Time for me to walk on down the road…

 

Clarence Earl Gideon: A little guy who stood up for his rights against a flawed legal system

       Good Day World!

Don’t feel too bad if you never heard of Clarence Earl Gideon. He changed history, although his legacy is lost to all but law students and scholars. I gotta tell you though, Gideon was no angel.

But, because of Gideon, an ex-con and poorly-educated gambler, you’re guaranteed legal representation even if you can’t afford it when accused of a state crime. In Gideon v. Wainwright, a unanimous Supreme Court declared on March 18, 1963, that the states were required to provide legal counsel for defendants in felony cases who could not afford an attorney.

Prior to Gideon, there was a loophole in the law and if you were indigent…you were guilty. I wouldn’t hold this guy up alongside George Washington or some other great American…but I do hold him up as a man who declared he was an American with rights…and proved it.

Read more about Clarence Earl Gideon:

A 'nobody's' legacy: How a semi-literate ex-con changed the legal system

Clarence Earl Gideon: Unlikely World-Shaker

Time for me to walk on down the road…

Bounty from the Sea: 2000 Pounds of Pot Scattered on Shoreline

Imagine you’re just going for a stroll on Arroyo Camada Beach and you stumble upon a bunch of big packages just sitting there…alone and unattended.

What do you do? The packages look suspicious, and you suspect there’s marijuana inside them. Do you grab one and run, hoping no one will see you stumbling along with it?

Photo from the Santa Barbara County Sheriff's Department

There’s no way to know for sure who found this little 2000 pound treasure trove of Ganja, but the street value is estimated at $4 million. Santa Barbara authorities discovered a panga-style boat near the beached stash.

The word is, 20 panga-style boats have landed on this stretch of beach in the last two years. As for grabbing one of these bundles of boo, if I accidently stumbled upon it, I’d turn and run as fast as my out-of-shape 62-year old legs could go!