Monday, February 1, 2021

National Mall Overran By Snowball Hurling Hooligans

They're calling it an assault on the National Mall as snowball wielding hooligans' fling frozen projectiles at one another.

The snowball assault began shortly after a massive winter storm. Capitol Hill police managed to keep the rioters confined to the National Mall and away from government buildings.

Authorities took no chances and called out the National Guard in case the snowball-throwing extremists decided to slip-and-slide towards the Capitol Building.
 There were no reports of injuries this morning, despite thousands of frozen hardballs hurtling through the frosty air since daybreak.

A spokesman for one of the organized groups - SnowAnon - said he was there with his peeps to protect any Trumpies that might show up and be attacked by the mostly peaceful group - AntiFroze - of revelers who were building snowmen and throwing snowballs.

There will be further updates on this seriously snowy situation, so stay tuned.

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