Friday, February 5, 2021

A Conversation With Butters: My Dog Really Had a Lot To Say Today

Most pet owners agree that their animals can talk.

The rest of the human race thinks those pet owners are light in the frontal lobe.

Who cares?

Now I can get on with sharing what my dog (whose a miniature Italian Greyhound) Butters had to say this morning.

On politics

Butters: I'm giving Joe Biden high marks for reintroducing animals into The White House. I love their story, especially Major's. He's a rescue dog. Champ has been a member of the family since 2008.

Dave: It sure was nice seeing the centuries-old-tradition of having a First Pet restored.

Congress is proof that dogs are smarter than politicians. You can put every breed of dog in one room - as long as there's food and water - and they'll get along.

It's not so with the pathetic packs of politicians in The House and the Senate.

On People in General

Butters: When a dog roams around in public barking at humans they capture it and take it to an animal shelter to be evaluated.

But when extremist humans disrupt gatherings of any kind with vicious lies and threats to kill others who don't believe like them, they can hide behind the First Amendment.

Dave: So you think humans are all hypocrites?

Butters: No doubt about it. 

On Religion

Butters: Dogs are more holy than humans.

Dave: I'm going to challenge that pal. What's your proof?

Butters: Spell dog backwards! That's right. GOD. Coincidence? I think not.

On Society

Butters: I really wonder how humans walk and chew gum some time. The crazy things they do. 

Did you hear about that rapper who had a $23 million dollar diamond implanted on his forehead?

Dave: Well... 

Butters: Or, that guy who got his entire body tattooed?

Dave: Well...

Butters: Or, that guy who lived in an airport for four months before being caught?

Dave: Okay. I got your point. But dogs can be weird too, so don't get all high and mighty with me, or I won't share my leftovers with you.

That's it for today folks. Butters and I may be back again to explore this crazy world we all live in.

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