Monday, February 17, 2020

Presidential Day at the Races: Trump Takes Big Boy Car For a Spin in Daytona 500!

Good Day World!

Yesterday's Daytona 500 featured something racing fans have never seen before.

(Photo-Trump shows off his favorite Big Boy car circa 2016)

Rumors circulated that the president of the United States was going to take a lap around the Daytona 500 Raceway in his "Beast" days ago. 

It was going to be an historic moment... Trump, as the Grand Marshal, and wife Melania, would rev up the crowd moments before the race began, circling the track in the presidential limousine.

It did turn out to be an historic moment (only one other president - Dubya did it before), but not exactly what the script called for...

In a last minute change of plans, Trump decided he was going to take the only car he was allowed to drive by himself around the famous track. It was an opportunity the narcissist in chief couldn't pass up.

The Secret Service agents in charge of watching Donny reluctantly fetched his favorite Big Boy car before the race began.

The crowd roared in appreciation every time Trump flipped his Big Boy car on the turns, and turned it back over (with the help of his Secret Service agents) then gamely pedaling on.

The time keeper fell asleep before Trump finally made the whole lap, but the crowd was loving every moment chanting "Help him up! Help him up!" every time he flipped over.

The chants changed in volume as he repeatedly crashed into the wall, but kept going; "Tear down that wall! Tear down that wall!" echoed across the stands.

Fans were thrilled even though the skies opened up and rain came down after his historic lap. Trump's minions were prepared with his favorite orange rain gear. 

After setting the slowest time record for every going around the fabled raceway, fans cheered as Trump was helped out of his mangled Big Boy car.

It was truly an historic event... and one of the most embarrassing displays by a president to ever be witnessed and documented.

Time for me to walk on down the road...

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