If it wasn't for John Smith, President Donald Trump wouldn't be redecorating the White House to reflect his favorite casino style.
Last August things were looking pretty grim for The Donald.
He kept making outrageous comments during his rallies that were alienating Republicans who had to trot out a dark horse at the 11th hour to challenge him.
His gaffes got the wrong kind of headlines, exposing him as a dangerous demagogue who could incite people to do anything.
The Trump campaign had given up trying to mellow Trump and spent most of the time defending his outrageous remarks.
"He didn't mean that at all," staffers reassured the press after a stupid comment about what 2nd Amendment people could do to Hillary Clinton if she were elected.
This last comment came in August following a month of stupid comments that led to national controversies, and were sending him into a tailspin at all the polls.
Then John Smith joined the Trump campaign. No one knew anything about the man, other than he seemed to have a strange influence on Trump.
He was a slick talker, on that everyone agrees, because he quickly became Trump's only interpreter. Smith massaged Trump's messages like a professional massage therapist.
He quickly softened Trump's image by deciphering his speeches (a TV screen would show Smith interpreting Trumps remarks and putting positive spins on them in real time).
The result? In one of the closest elections in American history, Trump edged Clinton for the win.
Afterwords, Democrats set out to find more about the mysterious man who greased Trump's ride to the Oval Office.
As of this writing there are two theories:
1) Smith is not his real name. Instead, his name is Vladimir Povov and he's related to Russian president Putin.
2) Smith is not his real name and he's a distant relation of Trump's; a real estate magnet from Slovenia living in exile in the Bahamas.
Stay tuned as John Smith is finally exposed. A real shocker!
Time for me to walk on down the road...