Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Whatever you do, don’t say…

Good Day World!

Whatever you do, don’t say…"Who was chasing me? You're slow as ***!" like this DUI suspect did after claiming his dog was driving his car.

Whatever you do, don’t say… “I left town because Hollywood Star-Wackers were hunting me,” and expect authorities to forget you committed a felony and had been hiding for five years when you got caught crossing the Canadian border into Vermont – like actor Randy Quaid did!

Whatever you do, don’t say…"Just give me some (expletive) bacon-jalapeno mac and cheese." A University of Connecticut student faces criminal charges over a confrontation with a campus food court manager who wouldn't let him buy macaroni and cheese with bacon and jalapeno peppers.

Whatever you do, don’t say… “Officer, come over to my house quick. I’m too high on marijuana!” like one 22-year old Youngstown, Ohio, man did recently and not expect to be the butt of jokes for the rest of your natural life! 

Whatever you do, don’t say… “I’m a federal agent and I need a free pass to catch a fugitive at this event (Comic Con in Salt Lake City),” and actually just be a dweeb trying to scam a freebie.

Whatever you do, don’t say… “There’s a bomb here,” at your workplace just so you can get fired. There’s got to be an easier way!

Time for me to walk on down the road…  

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