Monday, January 23, 2023

When Candy Characters Become Controversial You Know the Clowns Have Taken Over

The latest victims in our country's cultural wars are spokescandies for M&M's.

Last Thursday Mar's, the company behind those chocolate characters said they are shelving their beloved mascots.

It's true. MAGA cultural morons have been attacking the M&M's mascots for over a year.

Between the internet and MAGA spokesman Fox News host Tucker Carlson the innocent treats became woke! Thus, the enemy of idiots decided to drag M&M's into their ongoing cultural war against America.

Mars has been redesigning their mascots as part of a mission statement to "create a world where everyone feels they belong" and that triggered MAGA morons everywhere.

In efforts to appease the jerks Mars had the green M&M lose her go-go boots and change to sneakers. The brown M&M had to change her motto to "Not bossy. Just the boss." 

When Mars introduced the new purple M&M, who is also a female, the MAGA mob lost their tiny minds. Perhaps the final straw for the cretins was when the company introduced a limited release of "all-female" packages.

When a candy mascot's shoes become polarizing there's nowhere to go but down.

All of the backlashes became too much for a candy company trying to sell its wares. Mars folded and exiled the candy mascots to "Never Never Land. 

A new (real life) spokesperson, Maya Rudolph is taking over the reins. Mars is hoping to move on from the MAGA-inspired attacks against them and conduct their business in peace.

As it stands, in another era we wouldn't have seen candies cause so much controversy across the country. It's a sad comment on how crazy Americans have gone mainstream today.

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