Monday, April 26, 2021

GOP Announces MAGA Awards

So much for the Oscars. 

There's another award ceremony brewing in Republican caves, basements, and in Congress. 

Coming soon - the MAGA Awards.

Senate Candidates Announced:

1.   Perpetuating The Big Lie.

2.   Opposition to everything Democrats do.

3.   Biggest Hypocrite

4.   Most loyal QAnon Supporter

5.   Successful Political Grifter

6.   Flat Earther Best Known for Science Denial

7.   The Flip-Flopper Award

8.   The Putin Enabler Citation

9.   Top Conspiracist 

10.  The Biggest Asshole

11.  Most Consistent Liar

12.  Most Senile

The list of candidates is too long to get them all in this post. Therefore, I picked the most likely winners for the above categories.

Donald Trump - Should sweep every category but you never know.

Mike Lee - In the running for three categories; #1, #9 and #10.

Jim Jordan - Top seed for biggest Hypocrite and Most Consistent Liar.

Mitch McConnell - Shoo-in for Most Senile and Biggest Hypocrite.

Ron Johnson - Odds on favorite for The Putin Enabler Citation. Also strong contender for Top Conspiracist and Biggest Asshole.

Rand Paul - Has the chance to win or place 2nd in every category.

Tom Cotton - Brings it on in the most competitive categories - #1, #2, #6, #8, and #11.

House Candidates Announced

Kevin McCarthy - Frontrunner for the coveted Flip-Flopper award. He'll pose a serious challenge to these categories: #1, #10, and #11.

Tommy Tuberville - Most likely to win Perpetrating the Big Lie and Top Conspiracist.

Lauren Boebert - Already infamous for Opposition to everything Democrats do. She's the dark horse winner. 

Marjorie Taylor Green - It's a given she's getting the Most Loyal QAnon Supporter. She's actually competitive in every category.

David Madison Cawthorn - Top choice for Most Successful Political Grifter is also guaranteed to be competitive in #1, #2, #9,#10, and #11.

Marsha Blackburn - Expected to make a good run in categories #2,#3, and #9.

Roy Chip - Another dark horse who could win several categories; #1, #6, #9, #11

Josh Hawley - Contender for several categories including The Biggest Asshole.

Andy Biggs - His strengths lie in #1 and #2.

Matt Gaetz - Should be the favorite for Biggest Asshole, but this is a very competitive category.

Joni Ernst - There should have been one more category for the Most Wildest Eyes. She hangs with the worst of competitors and will make a strong showing in every category.

Devin Nunes - Another candidate who should have been able to enter into The Biggest Cry Baby Award - but alas it didn't happen. Mark him down as competitive in every category.

I'll be sure to announce the dates for these prestigious awards as soon as the Republicans quit fighting about when and where the event will be held.

Options for a location range from Epstein Island to the Kremlin.

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