Wednesday, April 15, 2020

Pandemic Diary Day 31: Coronavirus Coloring Book Could Be a Big Hit With Bored Public

Dear Diary,

It just came to me one day.

There's millions of Americans sitting around in their homes bored beyond belief when they could be enjoying the Zen of coloring.

Forget about the traditional coloring book themes however. Instead, consider some of the following suggestions to spice up your coronavirus coloring book experience:

The Pandumic Task Farce Follies 
Color Trump Orange and his minions yellow. 

Explore page after page of the Task Farce doing dumb shit like standing shoulder-to-shoulder when talking about social-distancing. 

Color in each member with shades of gray as they try to keep their reputation and not piss off Trump at the same time. Want an even more dramatic Trump? Use neon orange. 

The Adventures of Donnie and Mike 
Check your color inventory of orange crayons because Donnie is on every page! He shares some pages with his boob-in-waiting Mike (color him brown nose with tints of yellow) who is seldom seen standing. 

Most of Mike's appearances are on his knees. Ready to please. The dweeb duo are shown walking down a beach together... Mike several feet behind Trump in a dramatic montage of pages that you'll want to color immediately after vomiting!

Trump's Book of Magic
Make sure you have a full set of crayons with every imaginable color because Trump is like a chameleon, changing colors to con people daily.

Orange and Red Trump at WH Task Farce Briefs. Blue Trump sitting around the Oval office wishing he could hold campaign rallies. 

A jealous of Dr, Fauci Green Trump. Yellow Trump afraid to admit when he's wrong. Purple Trump straining to take a crap on his throne.

Have fun!
On the Homefront - Medford, Oregon

**Three's company - Bob the Cat, Mollie, and Butters sharing scraps (bits of egg) from my breakfast plate yesterday morning.

Not sure if Bob thinks he's a dog, or if the dog's think they're cats? Who cares? There's no species shaming around this house.

**State stats - 1,633 known cases of COVID-19 - 55 deaths attributed to pandemic.

**Testing, testing...Oregon has been testing about 1,300 people a day. The state epidemiologist, Dean Sidelinger, said the state needs to have to capacity to test 15,000 a week before we can even think about lifting stay-at-home protocol.

**Making progress outside - Shirley and I have been staying busy with outdoor projects during this stretch of mild weather which has been perfect to garden in. 

I suppose when the gardening is all done, I'll just have to lay around on a lounge chair in the yard and drink beer every day while keeping a sharp eye out for new weeds! Things could be worse...

Quote for the day: "Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet." - Aristotle

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