Saturday, April 20, 2019

What If Twitter Banned Trump?


Good Day World!

While cruising through my morning on caffeine and cannabis, a thought occurred to me..

and it grew...

and grew until it burst forth with a "what if?" scenario:

The Day Twitter Took Down Donny's Platform

A trickle of light managed to pierce the gold curtains in Trump's bedroom as he rolled out of bed that day. 

It was just another morning as he waddled to his toilet and prepared to launch a twitter stream of rants and boasts.

That's when his assigned secret services agents heard the high-pitched bloodcurdling scream and came running to his aide. 

Their concern quickly turned to confusion when they found Trump on the toilet screaming at his cell phone!

It was a pivotal moment. Should they call the men in white coats or wait until he stopped ranting? The tension was thick in that crowded bathroom with Trump and three secret service agents.

Just as the senior agent decided to dial for help Trump stopped and calmly asked why they were in his bathroom?

Agent: We heard you scream, sir.

Trump: That wasn't a scream dummy. It was a manly roar.

Agent: Sorry sir...

Trump: The twits at Twitter suspended my account! Get Miller, Mulvaney, and Sanders and tell them to meet me in front of the TV in the Oval office!

Agent: Right away Mr. President.

Trump sat on his throne for an hour before getting dressed and ready for the day. 

When he made his appearance in the Oval Office staffers scampered off in different directions like coach roaches seeking safety. Miller, Mulvaney, and Sanders stood at rigid attention. As he entered the room they saluted.

Trump: I lost my voice to the people today, and you three are going to get it back!

The three worried minions nodded their heads affirmatively and waited for further marching orders.

At that moment, Trump went into convulsions and his cronies quickly locked the door and pulled down the curtains as he waddled spasmodically across the room with drool coming down his lips.

Press release from the Office of the President of the United States:

"President Trump has gone golfing. He'll be back...someday."

Time for me to walk on down the road...

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