Tuesday, October 17, 2017

McConnell Makes All-Time Creepiest Dummy List While Performing With Trump

Good Day World!

I'm adding Mitch McConnell to the list of the Top 10 Creepiest Ventriloquist Dummies of all time.

After watching Trump and Mitch hold a duel press conference yesterday to prove they can still work together, I was surprised that Mitch just didn't sit on Donny's lap.

At first he just parroted what Donny said and swiveled his thin neck around like a turtle trying to escape it's shell. Try to imagine how creepy that looked. 

You could tell it was uncomfortable for Mitch who never stopped blinking his eyes like a startled owl at high noon.

When Trump couldn't answer a question he turned to Mitch who gave short passionate responses that he thought Donny would like to hear.

I have to hand it to Donny, for a moron he does a pretty good imitation of a ventriloquist. Then again when you have a natural dummy like Mitch, it isn't all that hard.

Unlike in the movie "The Ventriloquist's Dummy (1945)" where Hugo the dummy watched his handler get carted away to the booby hatch in the end, Mitch hasn't gotten the pleasure of seeing his handler trotted off to an insane asylum...yet.

That doesn't mean we can't hope.

As for future performances by these two dummies it's just too hard to say.

Donny's moods change like a pregnant woman's craving for sardines on ice cream one day, and Buffalo Burgers with soy sauce, the next.

Let me also add that it wouldn't hurt the argument they both needed to be locked up if they would perform wearing the same outfit, and Mitch got a hair implant just like Donny's! 

Time for me to walk on down the road...

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