Billy Joe Parker, aka the real Spider Man, is slowing down these days. Now, well into his sixties, he's given up swinging from building to building and just stands at street corners passing out money to people.
"It's tuff giving up crime fighting," Billy Joe said in a recent interview with this blog.
He made it clear that it wasn't just his health that was causing him to retire from all the action. "I was getting tired of people not even saying 'thank you' after I risked my life to save their asses. There's a lot of rude victims out there," he claimed.
If you think Billy Joe looks bad these days you should see some of his old adversaries. Doctor Octopus spends his day in an indoor pool and looks like a walking prune with eight arms.
The Sandman can't even stay awake long enough to cause trouble these days, and arch-rival Dr. Doom is in a wheelchair and drools a lot.
For all of you Spider Man fans there's good news; Billy Joe doesn't charge for his autograph...he does, however, request that you never kill a spider as it could be one of his relatives!