Veteran's Day: Remembering My Tour of Vietnam/Cambodia

Vietnam 1970.

I was a scared 19-year-old away from home the first time in his life. 

I didn't expect to survive my tour. 

I was completely ignorant about the Vietnamese culture. My training told me that the Vietnamese (NVA and VC) were subhuman.

I was a combat engineer (demolition) and spent countless hours minesweeping dangerous dirt roads.

I was assigned to the 442 Eng. Div., 31st Eng. Battalion, B-Company headquartered in Bien Hoa. 

Besides minesweeping I did a lot of hard grunt work building firebases, digging trenches for sanitation and water pipelines to villages, and constructing buildings in Binh Duong and Binh Long near the Cambodian border.

Early May in Cambodia. 

Initially my squad was attached to the 3rd Brigade of the U.S. 1st Cavalry Division (Airmobile), but we were later transferred to several units (generally - and in one case with a group of Marines. We were assigned to rifle platoons where we used our skills to blow up underground caches of enemy supplies from food to weapons. 

One day my best friend Rogers and I came under fire while helping haul bags of rice that were liberated from an NVA underground bunker. 

He was killed. I was lucky. In that moment I was no longer a teenager - I was forced to become a man determined to live despite the horror of seeing bullets pierce Rogers body. 

             Marijuana in Country

There was one thing all of the pot smokers agreed on... the Vietnamese weed was the best we'd ever smoked.

I freely admit to smoking pot daily, along with the rest of my platoon. It was a way of coping with the hell we lived in. True statistic: the majority of grunts smoked pot in 1970. 

It's been over a half of a century since my south Asian adventures, and I'm still (at times) haunted by the memories. I'm service-connected with PTSD and have spent years in counseling. 

As it Stands, today my thoughts are with Rogers and the other young men who didn't make it back from that terrible war.

You Are Not Alone

When the time comes in our lives that we find ourselves grieving the loss of a loved one it's good to know we're not alone.

Grief is a universal experience affecting both the mind and the body, with feelings in our brain directly affecting our physiology in ways that can leave us stressed and numb.

There's a newly established none-profit that is pursuing a mission to support individuals navigating grief and burnout through community support and somatic-based practices, instructing them how to grow through grief taking control over the nervous system.

The Denver-based LIGHT Movement utilizes scientific insights from the Polyvagal Theory developed by neuroscientist Dr. Stephen Porges, and organizes classes, retreats, and workshops to help overcome grief in a powerful organic way. 

Scientists have learned that grief can significantly alter our physiological state, making it crucial to address both emotional and physical impacts.

The word somatic refers to one-half of the division of the human nervous system, with the other half being the autonomic nervous system.  Somatic refers to those aspects of the nervous system we can control, and it plays a key role in how grief unfolds across our physiology.

The Light Movement also addresses burnout - the loss of passion and motivation in today's hectic world. They use a method called bilateral stimulation, which involves rhythmic stimulation of both sides of the body, such as alternating taps, walking, swimming, art, baking, cooking, and gardening.

Does this non-profit sound like something you are interested in? This December 21st, a virtual (nationally and globally) class will be conducted teaching people how to use somatic based tools to support integration and find meaning and purpose in your life.

Here's a link to the Light Movement offering events and resources to improve your life.

As it Stands, it's good to know you don't have to be alone during those challenges in your life. 

It's Time for a Lifestyle Change

No more politics. 

No more news. 

I'm getting off those trains and taking a new path for my remaining days on earth.

Call it cocooning. Retreating from humanity. Hiding. I don't care. With Trump in the Oval Office, I can no longer bare any reminders of him and the authoritarian government he's installing. It's like poking the bear and I see red.

Enough.

I'm taking the most peaceful path I can and that means my exposure to people will be more limited than it is now. I'm disgusted with a majority of Americans who are now following that fascist orange clown's destruction of our democratic lifestyle.

Time for changes.

My wife and I are looking into how mindfulness meditation can improve our daily journey. There are tons of videos on YouTube, lasting from 10 minutes to hours.

What is mindfulness meditation?

Mindfulness meditation is a mental training practice that teaches you to slow down racing thoughts, let go of negativity, and calm both your mind and body.

It's something millions of anti-Trump people should consider if they want to get through the next four years and cling to their sanity.

Because I'm a combat veteran (Vietnam/Cambodia) who saw too many horrors I have PTSD. Living with it hasn't been easy but I've managed thus far. This new challenge is calling for me to make the biggest lifestyle change yet. As a retired newspaper man (editor and publisher) I've always followed the news and politics. I've commented on both in the last four decades with regularity.

To save my sanity I have to step back from the Toxic News sites on TV, Cable, and Social Media outlets. No more.

About 40 years ago I use to paint with oils. I even actually sold some of my artwork. For some reason - probably because of extreme pressures at the time - I stopped. Now it's time for me to pull out my brushes and oil paints and to become one with my art again.

There are plenty of things to do that produce good vibes and my goal is to live out my final days (just turned 74) by pursuing positive activities. That includes more exercise and other hobbies. And spending more time with loved ones. 

You can call me a coward, or a turtle hiding in his shell. It doesn't matter. I don't care what people think about me anymore. I just want to live in peace and if that means not being aware of what's happening in the country or the world, so be it.

As it Stands, I can't change what's happening in the world. I voted for Democracy, but now it's in a death spiral and I don't want to watch the carnage. The only thing I can change is myself and how I cope with life.

Democracy Just Died: Trump Cult is in Charge of America

As a student of history I've always maintained that when America falls it will be from within. 

Unfortunately, it looks like I was right. 

When Trump seized the reins of power in this presidential election the United States of America ceased to exist. Democracy died.

We now have a dictator who plans on taking retribution against his perceived enemies like political opponents and anyone that dares stand up to his agenda of carnage. At least four years of hate, racism, and authoritarian rule face the average American. Possibly for a lifetime if Trump gets his way. And he does get his way a lot.

Our enemies will become our new allies, and our old allies will become our new enemies. NATO will be under siege like never before. The world order is shifting hard to the right which bodes ill for people's freedoms.

Stop.

I can't keep up with this madness. I'm a retired journalist - a newspaper editor and publisher. I've spent decades covering news and politics and now I have to turn my back on them because I can't handle what's happened with Trump. It's triggering my PTSD. I'm a Vietnam combat veteran who never fully came home. And I have to protect myself now.

I stopped writing this blog last May because I was getting overwhelmed by the hatred and chaos Trump was spreading throughout the country. So, I gave myself a six-month break.

I just turned 74 years old. I don't have that much time left in this world. I've been fighting medical issues (recently had vascular surgery) and I don't want to deal with the madness. It's too depressing. I'm no longer going to write about politics. Period. Frankly, I don't know what I'm going to write about going forward.

Right now, I'm mad and disappointed with my fellow Americans who have allowed our republic to get to this point. I attribute it to fearmongering, racism, and the rise of a cult like this nation had never seen before. Disinformation and outright lies that have flooded the American media in the last 10 years has finally taken its toll. 

This may sound mean, but I have no sympathy for the Hispanic men (who turned out in droves) and voted for Trump making the difference in the crucial swing states.  When they have family members who suddenly get deported in a mass deportation (as Trump has promised) their votes will come back to haunt them. Millions of Americans charmed by the master grifter and traitor will slowly watch their freedoms disappear in the days and years ahead. 

As it stands, it's no longer the America I grew up in and that really makes me sad. And mad.

Blog Break Until Presidential Election is Over

I finally hit the wall today.

I can't think of what to say about all of the madness going on in this country right now.

I'm a writer with no words to properly describe the current chaos.

The growing conviction that we're in the end times for our constitutional democracy and the republic we created 249 years ago, is hardening into a reality as the MAGA cult keeps expanding.

The journalist in me wants to document these terrible times but the Vietnam veteran with PTSD is telling me to back off for a while to stave off depression so deep I might never recover.

This is a personal decision made out of necessity. I'm not giving up on America, but I have to distance myself the next six months until we know who wins the election.

I wish I could just write about other things, but I'm too overwhelmed by the grave situation we're all in to do a decent job.

In over 20 years of publishing this blog I've taken breaks before for a variety of reasons, but none as long as this one will be.

As it Stands, I hope you understand, my dear readers, that I do intend to come back this winter. God willing.

Whose Justice? The Interruption Changes from State to State

It just depends on what state you're in these days whether you have a chance of getting justice in the courts.

If you are in Texas, it's okay to kill a black protestor according to Gov. Greg Abbott who pardoned Daniel Perry, a former US Army sergeant who was convicted of murdering a protestor at a Black Lives Matter rally in 2020.

Perry faced between five and 99 years in prison for fatally shooting 28-year-old Air Force veteran Garret Foster at an Austin, Texas, racial justice rally two months after the murder of George Floyd in Minneapolis.

But he's free today because of a racist MAGA governor.

If you're a woman who needs to get an abortion, you are out of luck in 14 states that have abortion bans based on gestational duration. There are 41 states that have abortion bans in effect with only limited exceptions.

A woman is hard pressed these days to find any justice when it comes to their bodies. Unless they go to one of the following 15 states, they won't be able to safely get an abortion.

They are Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, and Rhode Island.

There are 30 states where Stand Your Ground Laws are in effect. Basically, the law is called "shoot first" for a good reason. If you live in one of these states don't expect justice if you accidently step on someone's property or scare them because your brown or black. 

In the other 20 states you may be prosecuted for killing someone if you could have safely walked away from the confrontation. Your chances of justice improve in these states.

As it Stands, looking at the overall picture, living in a red state or blue state is like living in two Americas.

What Would You Do If Trump Was Re-Elected?

Seriously... I've heard people talking about leaving the country if Trump gets back in the Oval Office.

That would be deserting our Constitutional Democracy if you ask me. The last thing the nation needs is to fully buckle under to the orange blob's authoritarian regime.

There has to be resistance. The millions of Americans that would suffer in Trump's proposed fascist state must not give up fighting for their freedoms which he intends to take away.

Like any bully, Trump is a coward and if you stand up to him, he'll eventually wither.

Instead of giving up hope if Trump is re-elected, we need to do everything we can to stand up to him in the courts and Congress during his administration.

Yes, Trump will be further infecting both of them but if people rally and vote them out and hold them accountable in the next election America will defeat him and his cult members.  

I made a decision to stand up to Trump during his four disastrous years as president. There was no way that I was going to let the orange leech go unchallenged. Millions of Americans felt the same way and kicked Trump out of office in 2020.

As a Vietnam veteran I've served this country in my youth. I've always believed America is special. Freedom is more than just a word to me.

At 73-years old I'm just as determined to serve my country and preserve the freedoms that were hard-earned from the blood of patriots throughout America's history. 

Despite Trump's criminality - he's been convicted in two civil cases and indicted in four criminal cases involving 88 felonies - the political pundits say this year's election is going to be close. That Trump could win it.

Once upon a time such a candidate would have been inconceivable. Not today. That's our reality. 

As it Stands, what would you do if Trump wins? 

GOP House Members Humiliate Themselves... Again

This is getting old.

GOP members of the House never seem to tire of being humiliated by their master Trump.

No bar too low. No shame too great.

The 118th Congress with its Republican majority has been making history for all the wrong reasons since they kicked out their own speaker of the House to start off the term.

Here's some of their magic moments that will forever enshrine what will be hereafter known as the worst Congress in history.

Latest stunt:

-- The Speaker of the House, Mike Johnson and reps J.D. Vance and Tommy Tuberville all attended Trump's trial to support him. They sat in the court to show their loyalty like good little minions.

When was the last time a House speaker and members attended a criminal trial to back a former president who tried to overthrow the government?

Oh wait! NEVER.

And yet here we are. All moral boundaries and laws breeched by a cult that has infected Congress since Trump slithered into office in 2017.

-- Mike Johnson is not really in charge. Trump is the Speaker of the House and if anyone doubts it look at Johnson's pilgrimage to Mar-a-Lago when he was elected speaker. He went there to kiss the ring. He brags about talking to the Donald every week. Translation: he gets new orders every week.

-- Since the GOP became a majority in the House it has been a three-ring circus with lots of infighting and sham hearings attacking President Biden and his son.

They've passed less legislation than any other House in history. The own members admit it's been a hot mess, and a record number are retiring early to get away from the swamp they created.

-- No past Congress has had members who violate their own laws to defend outright criminality in civil cases like Jim Jordan's interference in Trump's fraud case where he went to New York to hold a kangaroo court of MAGA politicians who worship Trump.

-- In 240 years, we've never had a House of Representatives actively spend the majority of their time attacking the current president of the United States. Their sustain siege is unprecedented.

As it Stands, what we see as humiliating (when a person debases themself) is considered loyalty in the MAGA cult.

American Soap Opera: The Trials and Tribulations of Trump

Soap operas are a good example of Americana and have been around since the late 1940s. 

Days of our Lives and All My Children were just two of the ongoing daytime dramas that millions of people tuned in to daily.

The best thing about soap operas, which are still immensely popular, is that they are fiction. Regardless of how real the characters and situations, we always knew we could turn off the TV and they would go away.

Today the whole nation is tuned into a scary soap opera that could result in fascist state if the most corrupt president in our history gets re-elected president.

Following a former presidents felony trial (one of four cases he has been indicted in) every day in a New York courthouse has been a surreal experience covered by the mass media and the right-wing media.

We can't just turn the TV off and be done with Trump's ongoing criminal trial. Every form of media - from print to podcasts - is covering this real-life soap opera, breathlessly reporting every ridiculous detail.

Trump sleeping in court. 

Trump farting in court. 

Trump texting in court. 

Trump disrupting the court. And on and on...

Just like standard soap operas there's a cast of ever evolving characters. The witnesses have ranged from a porn star to Trump's former fixer. They've been fascinating and disgusting.

The courtroom itself is controversial. Trump whines about it being too cold when he's not attacking the judge or witnesses. 

When it comes to soap opera villains like Peter August in General Hospital, or Kristen DiMera in Days of Our Lives, they're not even close to being as evil as Trump really is.

As it Stands, the Trump trial is a soap opera from hell and we're all participants, like it or not.

Public Discourse: Here's How Far Americans Have Sunk

After seeing a video of people eating chocolate ice cream out of a standard size toilet in a midwestern restaurant, I was finally convinced this country is metaphorically going down the crapper.

Also, on that menu there's Orange Turd sorbet served in a golden shitter, according to one wit on X where I saw the video.

If the Italians are known for having bad tempers, then Americans should be known for being course and rude in our conversations.

Especially when it comes to politics. There are no barriers in a war of words where loathsome nicknames and hateful accusations are hurled every day.

Even normal conversations in public and social media are often so crude and rude they get out of hand and result in violence.

We have a presidential nominee who's in court for paying hush money to a porn star (while married) and being known for his infamous quote about "grabbing pussies whenever he wants."

In Congress a female GOP member of the House brought in and displayed fully nude photos of the president's son during a public hearing.

At some point numbness kicks in.

As the conversations continue to grow increasingly disgusting Americans are turning blind eyes to stories like a female member of Congress caught groping her date and vaping during a performance of a Beetlejuice musical.

The presence of course language starts early. Children mimic what their parents say and how they say it.

In fairness, people also have different opinions about which terms are okay and which are offensive.

What's not complicated is the fact that people just don't seem to care anymore. Taking the high road to a conversation and not using foul language is becoming a casualty in our culture.

As it Stands, it's sad that this is how far we've sunk as a civilized society.

Trump's Repeat of a Quid-Pro-Quo Offer Might Get taken Up This Time

         It wasn't that long ago that Trump approached Ukraine's president Zelensky with an offer to send military supplies in exchange for finding dirt on Joe Biden.

Apparently, it's one of Trump's favorite ways of doing business. You scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours.

This time Trump is offering oil industry executives the deal of a lifetime (when he's re-elected) if they come up with a billion dollars to fund his cash-strapped campaign.

"This deal perfectly captures what's wrong with our big money campaign finance system," Erin Chlopak, former Federal Elections Commission attorney, told Politico in a recent interview.

The solicitation reeks of corruption but isn't illegal, given that Trump reportedly didn't tie the donation to exact policy actions.

The oil industry has already put together numerous executive orders for Trump to sign if he wins in November. Such policies include reversal of a Biden-administration pause on natural gas export permits and new drilling expansions.

The thing to keep in mind about this MAGA proposal is it will be a blueprint for how he does business when he slinks back into the White House.

Trump was impeached the first time he tried to pull off a quid-pro-quo with Zelensky. This time he won't have to worry about repercussions because he's planning on a complete overhaul of government by remaking it into his dystopian dream.

It's still unclear if the oil industry is going to pony up and boost Trump's campaign. A billion dollars is a lot of money. But if any group could pull it off it would be them.

The meeting was held last month when Trump passed the hat around to invited executives at Mar-a-Lago.

As it Stands, "Fighting corruption is not just good governance. It's self-defense. It's patriotism." - Joe Biden