A Political Poker Game Observed: When to Hold, When to Fold

Welcome to today's edition of Political Poker. 

I'll go over a few rules that players are required to heed (although they seldom do).

Time for Texas Hold'em!

Because Texas Hold'em is by far the most popular poker game out there it's important to know the rules.

There are ten players. Five Democrats, and five Republicans. Note: they're all MAGA Republicans.

The goal is to use your hole cards in combination with your community cards to make the best possible five-card poker hand.

It's that simple in real life. However Political Poker, a twisted mirror image of that reality is much more toxic...and outright entertaining!

Let's take a peek at how the contestants are doing.

Marjorie Taylor Greene is bluffing by not taking any cards and sticking with her community cards. Every Democrat at the table can read her lying eyes. Laughing, Jamie Raskin called her bluff. Braying like a jackass she screams in rage and threatens to impeach all the Democrats.

Another view...

We see Jayapal Pramila smiling after drawing three cards. Ted Cruz, Paul Gosar, Jim Jordan, Kevin McCarthy, and MTG exchange looks and appear to be baffled and angry. 

When Jordan finally calls Pramila's hand he lays down three Jacks and grins like a rabid coyote. She smiles again and lays out a flush. Jordan immediately calls for a full investigation.

Another view...

As we observe Hakeem Jeffries passing out cards for a new hand, Gaetz and Gosar are sending messages back and forth on their cell phones. 

A closer look shows what's on their cell phones; naked pictures of Hunter Biden twenty years ago. 

Another view...

Shows Adam Kinzinger and Ted Lieu asking McCarthy to pull out the card they saw him conceal up his sleeve. McCarthy flashes his famous stupid smile and points at something..."Squirrel!" he shouts while bolting out of his chair and running away. 

As it stands, I plan on sharing more types of political poker games in upcoming posts. Find out how a game of Guts (a poker variant) turned out badly for Ted Cruz. And as a bonus I'll cover a game of Jokers Wild where the Republicans actually win some games.