Sunday, December 27, 2015

Getting Ready for New Year's Non-Resolutions

Good Day World!

I don't know about you, but I'm still recovering from the hoopla of Christmas.

As the saying goes, "There's no rest for the weary," because I have to get ready for my New Year's resolutions non-resolutions. You read that right.

I have a perfect history of never keeping my New Year's resolutions. After six-decades of such perfection, I have to be careful about what pledges I make.

The day may come and I'll accidently keep a resolution. (Horrors!) That would ruin everything! My one shot for perfection in this life would be shattered and swept aside in the overall scheme of things.

So, I have to be careful. After considerable thought, a few puffs of some very dank marijuana and a shot of 40-year old Scotch, I've come up with these three resolutions for 2016:

(For the record, this isn't my bucket list. Let's not get the two confused.

1) Go on a cruise.
2) Take a ride on the biggest roller coaster in America.
3) Go fishing in the Amazon.

You might be thinking "Hey! wait a minute Dave! You're comparing a cruise with two high adrenaline activities. What's with that?"

The answer: if there's one part of the planet I never want to's the sea. Going out on a ship is the stuff of nightmares for me (I should have never seen JAWS!).

I think I'm safe with these three pledges for 2016. 

Time for me to walk on down the road...


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