Lauren Boebert and Marjorie Taylor Greene Answer Constituents Questions

The following coverage is provided by Far Side Broadcasting's top reporter (and moderator for the event), Icee U. Miles

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"Welcome to tonight's special event with Congresswomen Lauren Boebert and Marjorie Taylor Greene! 

As previously announced, half of the audience is from Greene's district and the other half is from Boebert's district.

Let's get started with one of Boebert's constituents."

"Congresswoman Boebert, can you list what legislation you have sponsored since taking office?"

"What? Are you a wise guy or something? I sponsored hundreds of bills."

"Did any get to the floor for a vote?"

"That's it! Someone kick this RINO out of here before I sic Greene on him!"

Moderator "Moving on. Joe Blow who's in Congresswoman Greene's district, has a question."

"Congresswoman Greene, what pieces of legislation have you authored that were taken up by Congress?"

"None! And I'm damned proud of it! I spend my time standing up for people like you. The little man with no voice who is always being cancelled. I patrol the halls of Congress making sure no transexual's try to sneak in the wrong bathrooms."

Moderator: "Another question for Congresswoman Boebert."

"Will you autograph this (holds up large photo of her wearing a dominatrix outfit and holding an AR-15)? 

I promised my brother who's in prison that you wouldn't cancel him. If you want to put your private number on it, I'll make sure no one but Joe the Jabber (my bro) sees it."

Blushes before answering.

"Of course, see me at my memorabilia booth after this event is over. 

I just got a hot-selling shipment of model Jewish Space Lasers that can be assembled with Gorilla Glue."

Moderator "Another question for Congresswoman Greene."

"Congresswoman Greene, my chapter of QAnon is looking for an inspirational right-wing speaker. We're wondering if you could schedule a time to visit in the near future?

"It would be my pleasure. I've already scheduled six other QAnon venues in this district for March. Seven is my lucky number."

Moderator "Last question for Congresswoman Boebert."

"Congresswoman Boebert, what do you think about Russia invading Ukraine?"

"Russia? I thought we invaded Ukraine! Trump said so yesterday. I'll have to get back to you on this."

Moderator "Last question for Congresswoman Greene."

"Is it true that you have access to a videotape of Hillary Clinton and her aide Huma Abedin sexually assaulting a child and then ripping of the child's face to wear as a mask in a Satanic blood sacrifice?"

"You're referring to the Frazzledrip theory in 2018. I do have access to the damning videotape. Rudy Giuliani has a copy hidden in a secret place in his bedroom and Mike Lindell has a copy hidden away along with proof that the 2020 election was stolen."

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"Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, for not puking during the Q and A, or interrupting this event with any fact-checking. I hope to see you again the next time an alt-right event like this occurs. 

Alternate America: Trump Supporters Standing Up for Autocracy Not Democracy

The real Republican party has been reduced to authoritarian-loving cockroaches who have turned the party of Lincoln into a Willie Wonka factory turning out Trump supporters.

At this moment, Trump loyalists are supporting Russia's invasion of Ukraine, a democracy. They're not speaking up for freedom, they're subverting it here at home, and now abroad.

The Trump arm of the GOP has embraced an all-out assault on America's democracy since he lost the elections a year-and-a-half ago.

Because they dominate their spineless colleagues who meekly follow them out of sheer fear, the whole party is tainted with anti-Americanism.

Alternate America is where the GOP holds their own State of the Union speech prior to the actual president's state of the union address yesterday.

Alternate America is where Republicans work to suppress the vote so they can assure themselves of victories at the ballot box.

Alternate America is where GOP politicians attend white supremist conventions (See Marjorie Taylor Greene and Paul Gosar) while claiming they aren't racists.

In Alternate America Biden is the source of every grievance the Trumpies can whip up. They dedicate themselves to thwarting Biden's agenda to Build Back Better for all Americans.

Trump minions are united in their goal of creating chaos to ensure their open coup attempt is successful in the midterms and 2024. 

At times like this it's good to know that two-thirds of Americans don't support Trump and his Madhatters. This majority can, and must, turn out to vote in November.

If the majority do refute the right-wing's attempted takeover of our democracy we will preserve the republic at a crucial crossroad in history.

If the crazy minority wins, by suppressing votes and outright cheating, then we're all doomed to live in an autocratic hell. 

New Dating App for Trump Supporters

                    Cesspool of Love App          

             It was just a matter of time.

Right-wing pundits have entered the Twilight Zone via the internet, and cable news where truth is a victim of fascist propaganda.

One recent foray on the web is Trump's app Truth Social. If ever a website was misnamed... this, is it. Like Fox News, truth goes there to die a violent death. 

So, to no one's surprise, there's finally a new right-wing website that matches Trumpies up with likeminded morons.

It's called, Cesspool Love where shitheads go to flirt and mate with their own kind.

Glancing through the new members list is a revealing insight into the depravity mingled with sex offered on this new couple's dating site. 

One of the first members to sign up was Matt Gaetz whose membership name is SugarDaddy. He wondered if there were any underage girls that were interested in having a good time on a friend's private island?

Following closely behind, Lauren Boebert, aka GunGirl, seeks submissive men willing to take gun barrels up their asses. 

Marjorie Taylor Greene's persona, AvoidingJewishSpaceLasers, shows her wearing full Nazi regalia and brandishing a whip. "Looking for swingers who love swatting" the caption reads. 

Jim "Gym" Jordan's profile photo shows him in a communal shower with young men. A caption beneath says "Join me, I won't tell."

"Submissive looking for a master," is the headline on Kevin McCarthy's profile which shows him kneeling in front of the CPAC Golden Idol of Trump.

Ted Cruz's profile photo shows him on a beach in Cancun leering at women and scaring children (have you ever seen Cruz's smile?). 

I found Eric Trump's profile to be both pathetic and kinda sad. The headline under a photo of him with his front teeth fully exposed and gleaming, declared "Looking for love. Hey! Dad what do you think of me now?"

Melania Trump's membership was the biggest surprise on the new app. Her profile featured her nearly naked on a stripper pole with this description below; "Looking for a real man with big hands! Hint. Hint."

One of the most shocking profiles was Mike Pence's which stated "Let's have hot and heavy fun. Don't worry, I won't let Mother know," with a photo of him on a beach wearing a banana hammock. (If you don't know what that is you're probably better off not knowing for the sake of your sanity.)

Andy Biggs profile photo showed him clutching a sign - Wanna See my Weinie? - as he ran through the halls of Congress.

"White Fox (Mo Brooks) seeks partner to join him in hot, steaming, sultry, denials of reality while joining games like nude pin-the-tail on the donkey, and who can remember what day it is?

Another profile asked, "Looking for lust in all the wrong places? Lust no more. I'm a young hot guy who doesn't care what species he has sex with. Remember, vote for Madison Cawthorn!"

A word of warning to Cesspool Love's management. 

I just discovered there's a Walmart Dating app that's bound to compete with you for members.

Enough.

I realize there's only so much a person can take without puking. You can take it from here, should you choose. Go to Cesspool Love... another parody By Dave, on As It Stands.

Join me on Twitter @AsItStands63

To Russia with Love at CPAC: Trump GOP Praises Putin. Another Big Step for Fascism

In case you thought it was just Trump who is infatuated with Putin guess again.

He's been joined by his Republican minions lately who all think he and Putin are "geniuses."

The smiling young lady in the photo is proudly waving a Russian flag with her master's name on it. 

This is part and parcel of the love fest held at this year 's CPAC Conference for Putin. Trump praised his buddy and the bobbleheads in the audience cheered.

Welcome to alternative America where Russians are suddenly the good guys and to be admired.

To give this weird twist of events historical prospective, Russia has been America's enemy since WW II ended and the Cold War began.

The Western nations are unified against Russia's recent invasion of Ukraine.

Democratic countries realize that Putin's naked grab for his neighbor's country is a threat to ALL Democratic nations who value freedoms.

The Republican party decided to part with democracy since electing Trump. Their move towards fascism has been picking up steam since Russia's unwarranted attack against the Ukrainian people.

Some Republicans are speaking out against Russia's aggression, but their protests are merely pap because they won't call the crazies to account.

Who ever thought Americans would be praising a tyrant like Putin whose out to decapitate democracy and enslave millions in new autocratic satellites of Russia? 

We've actually sunk this low.

It's shameful for a lot of reasons. The Big Lie has paved the way towards a fascist government run by a narcissistic sociopath who couldn't accept losing a fair election.

Reagan is probably turning over in his grave.

Erick Trump's Dinner with Jesus Christ

After appearing on right-wing Candace Owens' show Eric Trump claimed he had a Road to Damascus moment afterwards.

During the show Owens asked him who he'd like to have dinner with? Someone living, or dead? Eric thought about it for a second before replying "Jesus. That's good right?" he timidly inquired. 

"Interesting," the right-wing host said softly and changed the subject. 

So, here's what Eric said happened after the show.

As he was being driven home Jesus Christ suddenly appeared next to him in the back seat of the limousine.

Eric admitted he was tongue-tied for a few moments before he thought to ask him if he'd like to go out to dinner with him?"

Jesus nodded yes.

"Then McDonalds it is. It's my dad's favorite place to eat."

When they arrived, Eric got out before the chauffeur and hurried over to the opposite door to open it for the son of God. But low and behold! He was already sitting at a table next to the area for kids to play.

After Eric ordered two Big Macs, fries, and two Cokes, he sat down, and Jesus blessed the meal.

Eric described the glow around Jesus as awesome while secretly wondering if he was radioactive.

Overcome with curiosity Eric blurted out, "Is my dad going to be sitting on the right side of your throne when he dies and goes to Heaven?"

Jesus's reply was censored by Eric when he recounted the experience to MAGA listeners willing to sit down and hear his story.

That wasn't the end of the story, however. There was a leak.

The chauffeur, who sat at a small table next to them told his friends he heard the conversation between Jesus and Eric about his dad.

"Who is your dad?" asked Jesus.

"Donald Trump, a former president of the United States," Eric proudly replied.

"I'm sorry my son, but his name isn't on the great list. But I do know who I'd check with to see where your father is going when he passes from this earthly realm."

The chauffeur watched Eric look down at the floor and mumble, "At least he'll be with his family and followers."

Unusual Ways to Spend Your Time if You Don't Have Anything Better to Do

 Not interested in the usual time-consuming pursuits like reading, watching movies and/or sit-coms, walking, exercising, swimming, or eating magic mushrooms before going to theme parks?

Are you ready for something different? Something unusual? Relax and go with the flow.

Feel free to burn a bowl of wacky weed or open a bottle of your favorite alcohol and kick back.

I'll start you off with a karma-like activity that may turn into a lasting relationship. See what it takes to befriend an insect in this video:

The process of making friends with the Giant Mantis

If you're still with me, you obviously have a sense of humor, so I have some more recommendations.

How about Extreme Ironing? 

You could start a local endurance competition that may evolve into a new event for the International Iron Man challenges. 

Or you could look up professionals who take ironing boards with them as they climb mountains, stopping to anchor the board on the side of a sheer cliff and then casually iron a piece of clothing. 

Still another challenge is parachuting out of a plane with two other people holding an ironing board while you iron a shirt before opening your parachute.

Not your cup of tea?

Here's another idea. How about Soap Carving? It's easier than carving wood. Think of the possibilities. Modern art soap sculptures could sell for thousands of dollars. Or not.

One of my favorites is Collecting Naval Fluff. 

I didn't just make this up. People have been collecting naval fluff since 1984 when the hobby was first introduced in a Miami, Florida Senior Village housing complex.

The fluff is graded by color, with blues being the most valuable. See photo.

By now you may want to ask, "Hey Dave! What strain did you smoke before writing this?" 

For the sake of transparency, it's Grease Monkey, and was the strain of the year in 2021.

Now where was I?

Oh yeah! Doing something different.

Stupid Like Me: One Man's Journey Into Trump's GOP

The following account by Nash Whitney, a liberal writer who already has two books to his credit, is a summary of his newest book, Stupid Like Me: One Man's Journey Into Trump's GOP via a series of emails throughout 2020-2021.

You should know that Whitney's new book was inspired by author John Howard Griffin, who wrote Black Like Me (published in Oct. 1961).

Here's a brief prologue in Griffin's ground-breaking masterpiece:

"If a white man became a Negro in the Deep South," he wrote on the first page, "what adjustments would he have to make?"

He concluded, "The only way I could see to bridge the gap between us was to become a Negro."

Which Griffin did and traveled the country for a year experiencing what it was like to be black man in America at that time. It wasn't pretty.

An inspired Whitney followed in Griffin's footsteps, but with a twist. 

Instead of disguising himself as a black man, he decided to infiltrate the murky depths of TrumpWorld where Republican activists and politicians worship Trump like he's God's messenger.

Whitney noted in the prologue of Stupid Like Me, that the only way a sane person could penetrate the cult was to dress the part and mingle wherever they gathered.

Footnotes

At his first Trump rally:

"I felt odd at first wearing a red Maga hat, a t-shirt with Trump is still President on the back, and a pair of red-white-and blue trousers. But when I looked around me, I could see I blended in." 

About his first Audit Protest in Arizona:

"The excitement of angry Trumpies made the air electric as they chanted "Stop the Steal!" One protestor grabbed my arm and looked deep into my eyes and asked me why I wasn't jumping up and down and frothing at the mouth like everyone else?

"It was a tense moment before I broke out into a racist chant... and he joined me! I knew I was in then."

At one of the countless Fundraisers for Trump

"It was like watching kids cavorting around a candy store as people poured over endless tables of Trump merchandize. 

One eager buyer, clutching her bag of Trump souvenirs, gave me a toothless smile and asked me if I was ready to die for Trump if necessary? 

"Imitating her bulging eyes, I responded with a hearty 'You betcha.'"

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I hope you enjoyed this little piece of satire/ parody as much as I did when writing it. Apologies to John Howard Griffin, who I suspect wouldn't have minded the comparison.

'What Me Worry?' It's a Mad, Mad, Mad World

Everyone is pissed off.

It seems like everyone is mad at someone, or something. 

The streets are packed with people with chips on their shoulders.

There's no getting around it. We live in a Mad, Mad, Mad world.

So, what can you do about it?

You could embrace Mad Magazine's Alfred E. Newman's philosophy, "What Me Worry?" and find humor in the worst of situations. Parody and satire are a good way to turn your frowns into smiles.

Your social media should give way to satirical media that leaves you laughing so hard you don't notice rising gas prices and the increasing inflation in the country.

No subject was taboo for Mad Magazine. 

All aspects of life and popular culture, politics, entertainment, and shaming public figures, was on the magazine's menu.

When you take the "What Me Worry" attitude it's an immense relief. 

You know you can't single-handedly change the course of the pandemic or heal the divide between political parties. So why worry about them?

It may be a cavalier way to dealing with the world's challenges and pissed off people, but so what? Have you got a better idea?

Breaking Story! Special Fox News Report: Bigfoot Was Seen Roaming the Halls of Congress!

According to Fox News Bigfoot was seen slinking around the corridors of Congress Sunday night.

This startling discovery by ever-vigilant Fox News reporter Peter Doocy coincides with other reports that Democrats have been in cahoots with the elusive creature recently on ways to defame Republicans.

One of the first GOP lawmakers to spot Bigfoot last week was Mo Brooks. He claimed Bigfoot ran away when he threatened him with a visit from Donald Trump.

Since then, other unverified reports have trickled in until crack reporter Doocy saw him with his own eyes Sunday.

Lauren Boebert claimed she chased Bigfoot with an AR-15 when she caught him going through her office files. Apparently, he was very nimble and fast, and she couldn't keep up with him.

Paul Gosar said he stared the creature down one late night while he was roaming the halls looking for an exit to go home to his cave.

Marjorie Taylor Greene swore Bigfoot was wearing a hat that said, NEVER TRUMPER, the first time she saw him. The second time she swore he scribbled RACIST on her office door before she could respond.  

Other credible, but unverified reports, of Bigfoot's wandering in the hallowed halls of Congress came from:

Ron Johnson, Andy Biggs, Kevin McCarthy, Josh Hawley, Jim aka "Gym" Jordan, Lindsey Graham, Matt Gaetz, Louie Gohmert, Jody Hice, Scott Perry, Chip Roy, and Debbie Lesko.

Thanks to months of investigating the reports Fox News was finally able to confirm the (once) mythical creature with Doocy's Pulitzer Prize worthy confirmation.

Right-wing outlets are buzzing with the sensational news today and there's expectations that Trump has a bombshell announcement to make on April Fool's Day about the scandalous story.

Until then his supporters are being asked to donate to his newly created Bigfoot PAC. Rumors are he has proof the Democrats have been allowing Bigfoot to roam with impunity to spy on Republicans.

Stay tuned to more Fox News special reports on this breaking story. 

Hashtag #BigfootConspiracy is currently trending on Twitter.

As usual, Fox News is where truth goes to die.

What's the Bar for Being Crazy in America Today?

In past decades it was easy to tell who was crazy. The mentally challenged people in the past wandered the nation's wastelands like outcasts in the 19th and 20th century.

Those unfortunates were easy to spot on the streets because they were doing crazy things like walking around naked and talking to themselves out loud.

But since we've entered the 21st century where crazy people have mainstreamed into politics, the media, and all aspect of our lives, it becomes a challenge to tell who is bat-shit crazy or walking the line of sanity and ideology. 

I'll be blunt here. The Republican party looks like a 19th and 20th century insane asylum where the inmates have taken over.

Right-wing lunatics have infiltrated state and federal governments. 

Their biggest achievement was getting a full-blown narcissistic sociopath elected for president.

One of many crazy media luminaries, Mike Lindell, capsulates the true meaning of insanity. I'm not exaggerating. 

Last week he announced that he was going to drive a truck full of 10,000 pillows for the right-wing activists squatting in Ontario, Canada.

What happened?

The truck, and Mr. Pillow Guy, weren't allowed to enter Canada. Authorities turned his crazy ass around and said go back to where you came from.

A Trump devotee, Mike didn't let that bother him, however. Reality seldom does. So, the next thing he announces he's going to parachute pillows (!) into the protestor's encampments.

As of this writing no pillows have fallen out of the Canadian skies like a twisted Berlin airlift for the protestors comfort.

I'm going to go as far to say that if he flies an unauthorized plane into Canadian airspace he won't be warmly greeted.

But no worry of that happening. Like his election lies, everything Mike's spewed has been discredited and laughed at. By sane people.

Republican lawmakers and activists like to prop him up because he creates chaos and is a great messenger for their apocalyptic agenda.

As we witness Republican lawmakers debasing themselves and their offices, it's important to realize how being crazy has cemented their base.

With people like Marjorie Taylor Greene, Lauren Boebert, Gym Jordan, Paul Gosar, Josh Hawley, and Ron Johnson as standard-bearers the party of Trump has raised the bar on being crazy by ignoring reality and truth-telling.

Where crazy people once wandered the streets practically unnoticed, they now march down streets proudly pushing lies for a twice-impeached president.

Fear of Transparency: GOP State Lawmakers Restricting Reporters Access

If there's one thing the Republican party hates... its transparency.

After the GOP became the party of Trump its efforts have been geared to suppress voters and reporter's access to their meetings. 

A disturbing trend has surfaced where Republican lawmakers in several states are scaling back access to government business.

The reason is simple. Members of the GOP want to dodge the press and any accountability for their actions.

As the pandemic eases up and the public returns to the corridors of state capitols, new rules approved in Iowa last month and in Utah this week critically limit reporters' access to lawmakers.

These rule changes limit when journalists can work on the floor of the legislature where lawmakers sit, making it easier for elected officials to avoid interacting with the press.

The rule changes are a canary in a coal mine. This new trend to obstruct transparency at the state levels is part of a greater plan to transform our democracy into authoritarian government.

By placing these new restrictions it's obvious they have something to hide, or that leadership is taking unwarranted and unnecessary retaliation against reporters who could expose their corruption.

This new tactic of suppression comes in an environment of increasing attacks on the media and parallel new restrictions placed on journalists covering protests and courtroom proceedings.

Behind Trump's Big Lie, the Republican party has descended into fascism at an alarming rate.

Lies wither under the light of transparency and truth. That's why it's important to reveal the anti-American effort to take our republic down.

"Sunlight is the best disinfectant." - William O. Douglas