Driver warned of jail's sexual gorillas if he keeps speeding

Source: Reuters

Posted: 01/06/09 2:02PM

Filed Under: Weird News

By Michael Perry

An Australian court has issued a blunt warning about the sexual predators a young driver faces in jail if he does not stop speeding, as authorities struggle to stop teenagers street racing.

"You'll find big, ugly, hairy strong men (in jail) who've got faces only a mother could love that will pay a lot of attention to you -- and your anatomy," said Magistrate Brian Maloney.

The 19-year-old male appeared in Sydney's Downing Center Court on Monday charged with driving without a license, failing to stop at a police alcohol check point and driving dangerously.

It was his third time before the courts for driving offences, prompting the magistrate's warning he would be jailed next time.

Maloney barred the teenager from driving until 2013, placed him on a 12-month good behavior bond and ordered him to do 150 hours of community work.

Breaching any of these conditions would see the teenager jailed where he would "shower with the gorillas in the mist down at Long Bay jail," said Maloney, his comments confirmed by the court on Tuesday.

"Out of control" was the frontpage headline in Sydney's The Daily Telegraph newspaper on Tuesday for a story on four teenagers either booked for street racing, speeding, driving without a license or crashing their car and killing a passenger.

The newspaper's editorial backed the magistrate's warning of life behind bars, saying his comments were "a vision in clarity" and gave the teenager "a reality check of his future."

"We can only hope this strategy helps. Hope it ends the slaughter of young innocents on the roads through stupidity...," said the Telegraph. "Road safety has become a war zone and any tactics are permissible..."

Police in the southern state of Victoria impounded 42 cars in the past six days after drivers were caught speeding.

One driver, aged 78, was clocked in Melbourne on New Year's Day at 170 kph (105 mph) -- 70 kph (44 mph) over the limit.

The 78-year-old was the "oldest hoon" in Victoria to have his car confiscated for speeding, local media said on Tuesday.

"It is disappointing to see a senior member of our community being so irresponsible," Acting Police Sergeant Carlo Visser told Melbourne's Herald-Sun newspaper.

"What example does this set for younger drivers?" said Visser.

Metalwork Designs From Heavy Metal Artists

  

     

  

images credit-Joe Pagan

Rancher rears mega rooster: KFC makes offer for bird

Cyrus Billy Joe Goodfellow has been experimenting on raising giant roosters for years now, and has finally met with some success. Red Boy's (the rooster above) morning crowing can be heard three counties away! Goodfellow takes Red Boy for a walk every morning and says the bird loves it. "When he starts to fly I warn him that I might make a deal with them KFC fellers," Goodfellow told me in a recent interview. KFC has been badgering Goodfellow to sell his rooster, but he has resisted all of their offers thus far. A spokesperson for KFC told the press that they want the bird to be the new company mascot!

photo from visualjokes.com 

A little fish had a dream one night, and it was quite a sight!

thanks to visualjokes.com

Burris denied senate seat when he arrived at the capitol

Roland Burris knew he wasn't going to be accepted as the new junior senator for Illinois before he arrived in Washington DC today.

Illinois state secretary, Nancy Erickson, had informed him in a private meeting that he lacked the credentials to be seated. Another signature was required and he didn't get it.

So why did he still go? Because this is all theatre and he's playing his role as a wronged black man trying to be the first African-American senator.

In character, Burris now says he may have to go to federal court to get his way. It's an uphill battle however, as no one wants a toxic Blago appointee!

Reuters photo

AS IT STANDS- Recycling is also affected by economy

Last Sunday there was no T-S Online link to this column, so I'm giving readers another opportunity to read it.

Tell me what you think? Here's the link.

It doesn't look good for Roland Burris as senate officer rejects paperwork to fill seat

By Mike Dorning
Washington Bureau
WASHINGTON—Secretary of the Senate Nancy Erickson rejected Roland Burris's certificate of appointment to the Senate as invalid, said Beth Provenzano, a spokeswoman for Erickson.
"We received it this morning at 9 a.m.. The parliamentarian reviewed it and we've advised Mr. Burris' staff that it does not conform with Senate Rule 2," Provenzano said.

That rule requires that the certificate be signed both by the governor and the secretary of state. Provenzano said the certificate was signed by Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich but she declined to answer a question on whether the certificate was signed by Illinois Secretary of State Jesse White, saying only that the certificate did not meet the requirements of the rule.
White has said publicly that he would not sign the certificate.
Senate leaders insist they will refuse to admit Burris on opening day Tuesday, having warned Blagojevich they will not accept any appointment from a governor accused by federal authorities of trying to sell the seat. The lack of a certificate for Burris' appointment provides them the grounds they will need to reject him as a matter of the rule book.

Getty Images/AP Photos

What are the odds that Madoff makes off with justice?

Illusion for the Day: How many deer and wolves do you see?

Images from Real Funny Photos

The Price is Right: Blago backs Burris as next state senator

  

It should be interesting to see Roland Burris come to the senate floor Wednesday. Thus far, the senate worthies have said he won't be allowed to do business with them, because they feel he is tainted by Blago's "senator for sale" controversy. Still, this morning I heard that there might be a shift in some of the senator's decision to let him play house with them. Burris was quick to pull out the race card and say that those senators who didn't want him there are racists. Here's what is amazing me...Blago may get away with this appointment despite the charges that are being filed against him. Burris is hot to get that senate seat because he knows once he's seated he's going to be bullet-proof when it comes to laying out Blago's bads, even if there is a link there. You gotta give them both a G for gall!