Solving the Mystery of the Missing Bird Penises

It's a mystery Sherlock Holmes would have refused to take on with his Victorian principals, but modern scientific sleuths have no bones about solving the mystery of the missing bird penises.

Before I turn you lose on the following article, which by the way will probably weird you out, I think it's safe to say most people will be surprised at how well-endowed some birds are.

Like ducks for example. Wow! Who would have guessed? I have a whole new respect for Donald Duck and Daffy Duck now.

"In the animal kingdom, ducks and geese are famous for their extra-long penises. 

In fact, when extended, the Argentine Lake Duck (photo above) is longer than the bird itself.

Most birds don't have such bragging rights, however. 

Males in 97 percent of the bird species have tiny penises or lack them entirely!

 Instead, they shoot sperm into a female body through an exit called a cloaca.

The absent bird penis is a head-scratcher for scientists who study animal reproduction. For animals in which eggs are fertilized inside the female body, sperm have a better chance of getting through if they're pipe-delivered with easy reach.

Why lose an organ that seems so important to achieve this task?" asked Patricia Brennan, a researcher at the University of Maryland who studies the coiled duck penis in an email to NBC News in 2013.

Why indeed?

I'll be honest with you... studying bird boners is a strange way to make a living. I don't care what anyone says. I can think of other species that would be more appropriate to research but that would be a future post.

I posted this story in April of 2013 and thought it would be fun to revisit it again in April of 2025. After all, what other species on this planet has a month dedicated to their genitals?

As it Stands, this is a strange world we live in but it's all we've got! Time for me to walk on down the road.

Are You Living in a Bubble Home?

Bubble homes have sprung up like mushrooms from the cities to the hinterlands of America as residents reject reality and distort facts to fit a radical agenda. Up is down. Down is up. Not just in America however, it's a phenomenon worldwide.

Like weeds in a garden bubble homes are springing up as people choose to live in silos of stupidity. Why? It's hard to pinpoint just one reason, but in general people seem more inclined to insulate themselves from the real world which they find unacceptable.

All of the chaos surrounding us today in our societies come from the far right who hate democracy and love dictators. Not all bubble homes are alike. It gets complicated.

Some people hole up in their homes - not because their far-right radicals - but because they simply want to escape from what they see as a coming Armageddon. I don't blame them. Still others want an authoritarian government, so they don't have to think for themselves.

Are you living in a bubble?

1. Do you believe Trump is a financial genius?

 a. Yes

 b. No

2. Do you believe America has always been a melting pot for immigrants from around the world?

a. Yes

b. No

3. Are all people created equally?

a. Yes

b. No

4. Do you think it's okay to ban books?

a. Yes

b. No

5. Do you think diversity is a bad thing?

a. Yes

b. No

6. Do you think the media should be under state control?

a. Yes

b. No

If you answered with the following, you're officially living in a bubble:

1. Yes 

2. No  

3. No

4. Yes

5. Yes

6. Yes

I'm not claiming this is a scientific sampling. It's more a reflection of what I see in the real world based upon the events we're all experiencing.

As it Stands, the real scary thing is that some people don't even realize they're living in a self-imposed bubble.

Setting the Record Straight on Long Term Marijuana Use

In case you've heard about how bad long term marijuana use is I'd like to set the record straight.

First, it's legal, although regulated in some states.

The 21st century has been a cannabis renaissance where the medical community has been rediscovering (the Chinese used it for medicinal purposes 5,000 years ago) the benefits of cannabis use for a couple of decades after intense research. 

However, research on long term use of cannabis has been sporadic, but I did find a recent study in Australia where patients were prescribed medicinal cannabis for long periods of time. 

The study started off with monitoring patients for a year and concluded it helped with anxiety, depression, insomnia, and pain improved over time for those with corresponding health conditions. Plans for longer studies are underway. 

I also found a 20-year cannabis study of over 1000 adults.

The study was published in Molecular Psychiatry. In summary using cannabis may cause changes in the body's epigenome. 

The epigenome functions like a set of switches, activating or deactivating genes to change how our bodies function.

Thus far the results have been inconclusive but, according to epidemiologist Drew Nannini, "This research has provided novel insights into the association between marijuana use and epigenetic factors." In other words, they're unsure what effect cannabis has on our genes. A longer study might be more informative.

I could tell researchers a few things about long term use of marijuana. 

I started smoking it in 1966, my sophomore year in high school. I've smoked it ever since. That's 63 years and qualifies me as "experienced" according to Jimi Hendrix's famous song Are You Experienced?

"But first, are you experienced?

Or have you ever been experienced?

Well, I have"

I imagine researchers would have a heyday with me following what I've done all of these years, and the role that devil weed played in my travels and regular life. Family members are convinced I have THC coursing through my veins. Who knows? I am rather healthy for a 74-year-old...all things considered. 

I went to Vietnam and Cambodia when I was 18 years old serving as an Army demolition expert in the 31st Eng. Battalion in 1970. I toked up with my comrades every chance I got. Everybody did in my unit except for the Lifers who preferred whiskey and beer. We were all trying to escape our grim reality.

I worked at a Ford Stamping plant in Ohio as an Automation-Tender and Welder. I couldn't wait to get off work and smoke some killer weed that I always got in upstate Michigan. I worked in a factory loading boxcars on the night shift and greeted the new day with a bowl of worthy ganja. 

I got married and we had three children. I went to college and became a professional journalist - both editor and publisher - who smoked a fat hootie every opportunity I got. I had to lead a secret life during my newspaper days because marijuana was illegal and only bad people smoked it, but it was okay when my fellow Rotarians got drunk in our weekly get together.

If there are supposed to be bad long-term effects according to some, I've yet to see them. My PTSD today is tolerable because of pot. As is my chronic back pain thanks to one of the herb's many superpowers. Think Terpenes.

As it Stands, meanwhile I'm thinking about starting a group of oldies but loadies with a minimum of 50 years of being "experienced!" 

Back By Popular Demand: Beer 2.0

A couple of weeks ago I took a look at the history and legends surrounding the ancient art of making beer.

Now that's out of the way it's time for Beer 2.0.

What country do you think has the best beer according to the Experts?

1. Germany

2. Belgium

3. The United States

(Answer is on bottom of the page)

Last November one of the most prestigious beer competitions in the world - The European Beer Star Competition - named Firestone Walker Brewing Company as the best brewery in the world. It won gold medals for its Belgian-style triple, Antwerp Calling, its wood and barrel-aged sour, Framboise, and its new style pale ale, and Firestone IPA.

I'll bet you couldn't name the best-selling beer in the world. 

Frankly I was shocked when I researched it. Snow Beer, a Chinese brand has been the world leader since 2008. I might have to try it some time.

Here's the five biggest beer companies in the world by output in million hectoliters.

1. AB InBev (Belgium)

2. Heineken (Netherlands)

3. China Res. Snow Breweries

4. Carlsberg (Denmark)

5. Molson Coors

Interesting beer news

In 2024, the highest rated beer in the United States (according to Untappd) was Kentucky Brunch Brand Stout from Toppling Goliath Brewing Company in Decorah, Iowa. Personally, I love stouts, and this is only one of the many I enjoy that is crafted here in America.

The Great American Beer Festival is returning to Denver Colorado on October 9-11, 2025. Experience pairing beer and good food provided by acclaimed chefs and craft breweries.

The Beverage Testing Institute declared the Beer of the Year in 2024 was Barrel-Aged Barleywine by Revolution Brewing.

The World Beer Cup, also known as "the Olympics of beer," is just around the corner. It's one of the most prestigious beer competitions on the planet. The event is being held at the Indiana Convention Center on May 1, 2025.

Where I live in Oregon we have the annual Oregon Brewers Festival, in Portland. The top selling product for the third year in a row was Cascade Brewing's Razberry Wheat out of Southwest Portland. There were 73 different craft beers from 18 states across the country.

Astute readers may recall my recent post on frogs and may be wondering why some people say frogs taste like beer? The answer is simple, Because of the hops! Don't worry. Be hoppy.

(Answer: Belgium)

As it Stands, Beer: Making people interesting since forever. 

I Just Went to My First Protest Rally and Was Impressed

           My wife and I (photo above) went to a "Hands Off" protest in Medford Oregon while other protests sprung up across the nation like flowers blooming on a spring day.

Opponents of our felon president and his unelected wealthy South African born buddy showed that America is not going to tolerate their corruption without a fight. 

There were more than 1,200 "Hands Off" demonstrations across the country planned by more than 150 groups, including civil rights organizations, labor unions, LBGTQ+ advocates, veterans and election activists.

It was the first protest I ever attended. 

I'm a Vietnam veteran who was on the other side of nationwide protests against the war. 

My greeting at LAX airport was brutal with people following me and cursing me like I was personally responsible for the damn war. 

At one point someone spit at me, and I dropped my duffle bags and lashed out at who I suspected was the spitter and I punched him in the jaw. His cronies swarmed me, and airport security had to peel them off and escorted me out. In the melee I lost one of my duffle bags and reported it to security who were more interested in getting me outside than in retrieving my duffle bag which was full of souvenirs. I never got it back despite numerous requests. 

As you can imagine I've never forgotten their naked hatred and the treatment I received because I was a soldier. The protests were wild, scary and people were killed - think the Kent State Massacre - as the nation was divided for and against the war. I was the same age as the protestors, and I hated the war. After I got out of the Army I dropped out and was immersed in the hippy culture for years.

When my wife and I went to the Hands-Off protest Saturday I was nervous. I have PTSD and have been avoiding crowds for decades. But something miraculous happened. The crowds were friendly, and I relaxed enough to appreciate the people I met. It was fascinating listening to their stories about how Trump and Musk were ruining their lives. Everyone was so united in their disdain for the Trump regime.

The majority of protestors were middle aged and seniors. Us boomers showed up like it was the 60's to make our voices heard once again. It was a transformative day for democracy. The battle has been joined and there will be many other protests leading up to the midterms at which time the Democrats hopefully will take back the House. But they need you and me to vote for democracy.

As it Stands, Trump's regime will need to be challenged every day until his orange ass is kicked out of the White House permanently. 

Celebrate: It's All About Frogs

Are you ready to get froggy?

I hope so because April is National Frog Month. 

I'm not sure who decided that in the United States but kudos to them for highlighting our amphibian friends. 

Our foreign friends are also welcome to show their affection for frogs by holding celebrations to honor them this month too.

With 4,000 known species there's not a place on the planet that doesn't have frogs coming in a delightful array of colors and sizes. Just imagine, they can be smaller than a dime (the New Guinea Amau frog) to weighing seven pounds (the Goliath frog) and some are nearly transparent like the Glass frog. 

It's good to know your frogs before you attempt to pick one up. Take the Golden Poison frog for example. It carries enough toxin to take down 10 humans! For the sake of clarity, I'm not going to mix frogs up with toads today because they're not from the same family.

Frog Myths, Folklore and Fairy Tales

Those steeped in frog fairy tales know the Brothers Grimm story of The Frog Prince. In ancient Egypt and Mesopotamia, frogs symbolized fertility. The Greeks and Romans associated frogs with fertility, harmony, and licentiousness. Folklore in many cultures connect fertility, regeneration, and rebirth with frogs. 

In Ohio folklore, the Loveland Frog (left) is a legendary amphibious creature, resembling a giant humanoid frog roughly four feet tall when standing on its hind legs.

In Celtic myths the frog was a familiar of a witch. The Druids looked upon frogs as messengers of the water god/goddess who brought blessings of rain and purification.

In Native American mythology the Frog symbolizes wealth and abundance. When a frog is portrayed in art with his tongue touching another creature, it represents the sharing of knowledge and power.

True confession time...

my nickname since early childhood is Frog. It has something to do with what my family decided was my (to them) big feet which became flippers in our family lore.

The most famous frog in the world today is Kermit the Frog from Sesame Street and The Muppet Show. 

His frog sidekicks are Robin (Kermit's nephew), Leapovitch the Frog, and Mavis the Frog.

As it Stands, the early bird may get the worm, but the patient frog gets the fly. - Unknown

What Would You Do if You Were a Politician?

Regardless of where you live in the world imagine if you were a politician. Some countries - like democracies - give their politician's certain powers and privileges they wouldn't have in other counties ran by dictators. 

Then there are democratic countries trying to hold onto their freedoms that are under assault by right-wing actors worldwide. The United States is a perfect example.

Misinformation and repeated lies have Americans so confused that many don't know who to trust and where to turn to for the truth. 

This cauldron of chaos was manufactured by the MAGA Party (you'll notice I didn't say Republican Party) for years and now it's paying off in dividends with the election of a convicted felon who's managed to free every lunatic in the country and get away with a bloody coup attempt.

Let's say you are an American and a member of congress. What would you do if ...

1. The President was actively dismantling the Social Security Administration, The Department of Veterans Affairs, Medicare, and every government agency that benefits common Americans?

a. I wouldn't do anything about it. I'd avoid town halls. I want to keep my cushy job.

b. I would try to convince my constituents that everything was going to be fine and that Trump's buddy Musk was really doing everyone a favor by crippling the government.

c. I would stand up and challenge the assaults on our democratic system and assure my constituents that I'm doing everything I can to protect their freedom and entitlements. My voting record would show it.

2. What would you do if... a MAGA congressional member threatened you if you didn't vote a certain way?

a. I'd cave in. It's easier to do that than try to fight their majority.

b. I'd pretend I didn't hear them and keep walking.

c. I would assure them that I'd share their blatant attack with the world and would let my constituents know about it so they could pass the word on to their neighbors.

3. What would you do if... you were suddenly told you had to sign a loyalty oath (regardless of which party you belonged too) directly to Trump or you'd get run out of congress? 

a. I'd sign it without question.

b. I'd say that I just had carpal tunnel surgery and can't write anything hoping that by stalling they'd forget.

c. I'd pull out my mobile device, take a snapshot of the "oath" they wanted me to sign and then I'd post it on every social media platform in the world.

Moving on...

Here's some harsh truths.

Democracy in America has never been challenged like it is right now. 

Americans are watching in horror as their benefits and rights are being stiped away daily by the world's richest man who controls the president of the United States.

It's never been truer than now that an elite cabal of super wealthy men and women are running the world. They all have one thing in common, they want to take control of our lives, our thoughts, and freedoms. 

Europe is experiencing the same challenges that America is. Billions of dark dollars from oligarchs are being funneled into countries elections to rig outcomes favorable to the few.

I have no idea what it's going to take to turn the tide of chaos back and reinstate sanity into society. Good over evil. I'm searching for signs that real resistance will spring up next year during the midterms and that the Democrats will retake the House... and yes, the Senate back and hold Trump accountable.

As it Stands, regular readers will recall I quit posting politics for five months because of the 2024 election results. I was too upset at what I saw as the final assault on all of our freedoms. I can't help myself now, however. I'm a journalist and it's my job to call out traitors and tyranny. This is my small contribution to protecting freedoms and justice in an unjust world and taking it to the people.

What Will Be Trending in the 22nd Century?

I remember touring The Monsanto House of the Future an exhibit at Disneyland California in 1957 and being in awe. Such wonders.

The walk-through attraction gave visitors a glimpse into what the future holds for homes in the 20th century. It was also intended to demonstrate the versatility of modern plastics. It featured advanced products, such as microwave ovens, and other time saving marvels. The furniture was plastic - think the cartoon The Jetsons.

After reminiscing about the good old days, I got to thinking about the present and what the future holds for homes in the 22nd century. The problem is I'm not sure mankind will be around in the 22nd century. But for the sake of laughs I can speculate that humans will be still living in some sort of structures.

What kind of structures you ask?

Straight up...Caves. Designer caves. Multiplex caves. Caves for every social stratum of what society that still exists.

The scared surface outside the colonies of caves will be too unstable and radioactive to put up conventional houses.

What's Inside?

- Cave units come equipped with oxygen centers strategically stationed throughout the home. 

- TVs give way to hologram entertainment stations in every room.

- Kitchen appliances graduate to specialized robots who can wash dishes or cook a fair-to-middling meal.

- Bean bag chairs and couches are back! Every century they pop up like cockroaches. Don't ask me why. I can't even sit in one.

Fashions

- Long hair for men and women. It's a nod to the 60s and the 70s. And because there are no more barber or beauty shops anywhere it's easier to grow long hair.

- People routinely wear imaginative rubber masks to hid radiation burns. Some are so creative they have Masked Balls and award prizes such as extra food rations.

- Capes are worn by all the classes in Tunnel Towns.

- Sneakers are often banned in tunnel colonies in favor of the 50th itineration of Crocs.

Teenagers still say the darnest things...

Girl to Girl; "Whatever Mary Lou, why don't you go work at McDonalds?" No one is sure what it means but it has been elevated to fighting words in the 22nd century.  

Politicians are still stupid...

but people don't pay any attention to them. They live in different cave enclaves where their lies bounce off the padded walls in never ending arguments.

Finally, I suspect survival will still be trending in the 22nd century with its new challenges.

As it Stands, you may be thinking, the hell with the future what about right now? I don't blame you. I'm worried too. However, I thought a little dark humor might brighten your day.

A Conversation About Heros

Since the dawn of time heroes have appeared in every culture in the world. 

Sometimes their stories are buried in the sands of time without making a ripple, but many survive to become legends in countries across the world. (photo Christopher Reeves)

Both in fiction and real-life heroic figures are individuals who demonstrate exceptional courage, bravery, and often selfless actions. 

In my life I've seen and met many heroes. I witnessed 18-year-old males commit acts of courage in the midst of a firefight in the jungles of Vietnam and Cambodia. I've seen homeless veterans across America clinging to their pride despite their circumstances. 

I've seen mild mannered individuals stand up to bullies, even if it meant getting their ass kicked. I've witnessed everyday citizens who refused to be bullied by corrupt governments despite being punished for their resistance. I've met and seen people with physical and mental disabilities that are everyday heroes getting by under challenging circumstances. 

Heroes come in all shapes and sizes. Their universal qualities are called archetypes.

The Classical Hero

Sometimes called romantic heroes, are everyday people that have great talent. The classic hero possesses an attribute or quality that distinguishes them from ordinary people, making them a hero. Your classic hero has gifts other do not.

The Everyday Hero

The "everyman hero" has no outstanding abilities or attributes. They are often put into an extraordinary circumstance where they must act with heroic qualities. I call them reluctant heroes.

Tragic Hero

It was the great philosopher Aristotle who first defined the ill-fated protagonist as a tragic hero, or flawed hero who evokes a sense of pity or fear from the audience. The hero of a tragedy has to be someone whose misfortune is brought about not by vice or depravity, but with some error of fate.

The Epic Hero

The Greeks are credited with defining a protagonist as an epic hero who is awe-inspiring and often depicted in epic poems. Their fortune is brought about by their admired characteristics. Think The Odyssey and the Illiad. The heroes are cunning, brave, humble, smart, and virtuous.

The Anti-Hero

An anti-hero, by definition, is a main character who lacks conventional heroic attributes. They range from being a good person with an unattractive vice to a criminal master mind who has a heart of gold.

The Superhero

Despite being fictional characters superheroes are extremely popular in cultures around the world. Think Superman and Spiderman. Their powers are diverse, from superhuman strength to X-ray vision. 

I think we all have heroes in our lives but don't always realize it. 

Some do. My Dad was my hero. Setbacks in life didn't slow him down or discourage him. He always plowed forward and managed to raise four children in the hardest of times.

As it Stands, one of my favorite quotes about heroes comes from the actor Christopher Reeves, "A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles."   

Give Women Brewsters their Due When It Comes to Making Good Brew (as in Beer, Baby, Beer!)

After drinking a can of beer recently I found out something interesting.

The name of the beer brand I imbibed was Ninkasi. 

The brewers knew that the name was after the ancient Sumerian goddess of beer, but it was news to me. I suspect there's a lot of other people blithely drinking it totally unaware (despite some packaging that says Goddess of Beer) of how clever the name really is.

I wonder how many people know that women were the original brewers. In ancient societies, brewing was often a domestic activity, with women responsible for collecting ingredients and brewing the beer. So, it's no surprise that the oldest known instructions for making beer are found in a religious hymn to Ninkasi.

"Ninkasi, you are the one who pours out the filtered beer of the collector vat; it is {like} the onrush of the Tigris and Euphrates."

The Sumerians believed Ninkasi oversaw the brewing process and "worked" as head brewer to the gods, who gifted beer to humans to preserve peace and promote well-being.

All that changed in the following centuries and in other societies when men started dominating all commercial and industrialized activity related to beer. Today beer is considered a stereotypical "manly" drink despite the fact that it started out as a feminine craft.

There are goddesses of beer in other countries too. In Baltic and Slavic mythology, a goddess named Raugutiene provides heavenly protection over beer. Finnish legend recounts that a woman named Kalevatar brought beer to earth by mixing honey with bear saliva. I'd like to know how she collected the bear saliva, but that's a thought for another day. Norsemen only allowed women to brew the "aul" that fueled their conquests.

German nunneries provided a rare shelter for single women to blossom as Brewsters (the feminine equivalent of a brewer) and botanists. 

It was St. Hildegard of Bingen who distinguished herself as the first person to publicly recommend hops as a healing, bittering, and preserving agent some 500 years before mainstream society took heed.

When the pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock the first thing the men did was build permanent housing. Then they each built their wives a kitchen brewery. I bet they didn't teach you that in early American history in school. Married women homebrewed "small beer" which they supplemented with cider, to sustain their families.

By now you can see how women helped save the world by making beer since the dawn of civilization. They deserve equal credit with men when it comes to bragging rights in the art of making beer. Like many things in life, it takes two to Tango.

As it Stands, a beer in hand is worth two in the fridge.

Hair Today... Gone Tomorow

 
"Gimme head with hair

Long beautiful hair

Shining, gleaming,

Streaming, flaxen, waxen..."

from the play "Hair"

Males with long hair were a major societal controversy when I was a senior in high school in 1968. That same year the amazing play Hair opened on Broadway at the Biltmore Theatre on April 29th.

Hair: The American Tribal Love-Rock Musical was controversial because it depicted counterculture themes, including drug use, nudity, sexuality, and an anti-war message. Everything about the play challenged the traditional values and norms of the time.

Following a Public Theatre concert in 2007, the 2009 revival of Hair opened at the Al Hirschfeld Theatre on March 31st. It ran for 519 performances, concluding its run on June 27, 2010.

The nation was going through significant social and political upheaval, and the debut of the musical Hair was like pouring gasoline on a fire to the Pro-War stalwarts who saw long-haired hippies as a threat to everything they believed in. 

Most eating establishments turned away young long-haired men... unless they were rock stars with lots of money. 

Traveling in the southern states was perilous for long haired males and for anyone with California license plates, as my best friend Larry and I found out. We attempted to eat at a local restaurant in Georgia in 1968 and no one would serve us.

As we sat at the table it became apparent no one there was going to bring us a menu. Finally, a state trooper sporting a Smokey the Bear hat got up from the counter and slowly walked over to us. "We don't serve your kind here," he said with a lazy matter of fact drawl. 

As the decades slipped by, I watched as long hair was normalized. Fashions change. 

I get that. 

But who would have guessed that bald is now beautiful? 

Young men today are perfectly content with having no hair at all! I guess you could say I saw the whole spectrum of hair at its zenith (shining, gleaming, flaxen hair) to the complete opposite of gleaming craniums.

As it Stands, my takeaway from the musical Hair was it was about liberation and embracing one's hairstyle as their ultimate expression of freedom.