T'was the night before Christmas...and we were up putting together presents

Good Day World!

I'm turning the clock back to the Christmas of 1980 to share a story some parents can relate to:

T'was the night before Christmas and my wife and I were putting together presents. You know the kind I mean. They have murky instructions and are often missing key parts.

One example: we bought a toy box that had to be assembled. It came with a top, bottom, four sides, and numerous plastic bags with various nuts, bolts, and washers.

The instructions were in every language imaginable...except in English. The diagrams did not resemble the actual parts.

Pause for a moment. I am not mechanically minded. My wife, Shirley, is. We pretty much came to an agreement after this Christmas Eve she'd put the stuff together, and I would have to put my manly pride aside for the benefit of all!

Back to Christmas Eve of 1980...

For some reason nearly all the toys we got our three boys had to be assembled. It didn't take long before we started squabbling about interperating the instructions.

As the hours went by and most people slept, we toiled, and haggled, over the presents. Our tempers were frayed by the early morning hours when it became apparent we weren't going to get any sleep.

Looking back now I can admit that I was the problem that night. Shirley has told me since then, that she wondered why I didn't seem to "get things" that night.

At first light we finished and put a pot of coffee on and waited. It didn't take long. The two older boys came stumbling out with sleep still in their eyes (chubby little fists wiping it away) as they gasped.

The delight in their eyes. when they saw the presents under and around the tree, was worth our sleepless night! 

Shirley went and got our youngest (he was only six weeks old) and brought him out to watch the proceedings.

It was a Christmas to remember for a lot of reasons.

Time for me to walk on down the road...

Nine Famous Christmas Stories to Share With Children in Your Life

Good Day World!

Christmas is for kids.

I know many will not agree with me because the holiday is rooted in Christianity. That's okay.

When I say Christmas is for the kids, I'm speaking for parents everywhere.

There's nothing like watching those innocent little eyes light up as they gaze at presents under the tree, or listen to you telling them Christmas stories.

As a proud father of three sons I can testify to that. 

As the weeks leading up to Christmas went by, my wife and I always shared Christmas stories with our children. That tradition was carried over to our five grandchildren. 

If you are fortunant enough to have children in your life, here's a short collection of classic Christmas stories to share.

Open and print: 

1. The Little Matchgirl by Hans Christian Andersen

2. A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

3. Little Piccola by Nora A. Smith

4. The Other Wise Man by Henry Van Dyke

5. The Three Kings by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

6. The Manger Mouse by Jane Tyson Clement

7. Little Gretchen and the Wooden Shoe by Elizabeth Harrison

8. The Gift of the Magi by O. Henry

9.The Legend of the Christmas Tree by Lucy Wheelock

Time for me to walk on down the road...

My Loneliest Christmas Was a Milestone in My Life

Good Day World!

I'm fortunate to have had only one really lonely Christmas in 65 years.

I went into the Army in 1969 and did my basic training at Ft. Ord, California.

(Ft. Leonardwood barracks circa 1969)

 For my advanced training (Combat Engineer) I was sent to Ft. Leonardwood, Mo., that October.

Snow everywhere in November. A first for me. For whatever reasons, the DI's made me Field First (acting E-6) for the cycle. I was sent to two weeks of Leadership School.

Leading the entire company meant I called the trainees to formations three times a day, and I led then marching daily, while barking out the cadences I'd learned.

I was expected to excel and set an example for the troops.

I had my own little room. It was located in a barracks that dated back to WWII. It was a long wooden 2-story building with one heating source - an old pot-bellied stove at one end of the room.

There was no heating in my little room. The price of leadership I supposed. In my spare time, I boxed against opponents from other companies. Those were wild booze-driven affairs that sometimes ended in mini-riots.

I didn't have any friends. I couldn't afford to show favoritism and the DI's weren't interested in making friends. Most of them had been to the Nam, and knew that was were I was going.

I didn't have enough money to go home for the holidays that Christmas. I waited too long to ask for financial help from my family to fly back to California. 

I had just turned 19-years in November. I'd never been away from home during the holidays before. The Christmas cards and packages that I got only made me long to be home even more.

It was time for me to become a man. A milestone in my young life. It was like putting toys from my youth away, and stepping into another world of adults.

As I sat alone in my cold little room on Christmas Eve, I fought back tears. I wondered if I was going to die in Vietnam and desperately missed my family.

But...on Christmas morning I woke up smiling.

It was like a miracle. Maybe my dreams were so good they carried over. Whatever the reason, the sadness had slipped away like a thief in the night.

I made a few reverse-charged phone calls to family members, and that perked me up. They were all so supportive. The durability and adaptability of youth stood me in good stead that day.

Time for me to walk on down the road...






  

A Letter From a 65-Year Old Man to Santa Claus

Dear Santa,

How's it going?

I know it's been a long time since the last time you answered my letter (1955), but you're really on my mind this season.

For starters, I never got to apologize for planning to mug you that Christmas Eve. I was only five, and my brother was only three, but for some reason we thought it would be a good idea to mug you and get more presents.

As you know, we both fell asleep, a baseball bat cradled in my arms and my brother clutching his blankie beneath the Christmas tree that night .

I can imagine your shock at the scene we presented when you came to deliver our toys. You still left us toys, but that was it...you no longer answered my letters.

I've tried to make up for that faux pa by telling our three sons what a great guy you are. It must have worked because none of them attempted to mug you!

Then the grandchildren came, five in all, and I dusted off all my old Santa lore to entertain a new generation and make them Santa believers. Again, it must have worked because they really did believe in you for years.

I guess I just wanted to say that I still believe in the spirit of Christmas - which includes you - and that same little mixed-up kid that waited up for you with a baseball bat has turned out to be one of your greatest supporters.

Thanks for taking the time out to read my letter during this busy time of the year for you.

Merry Christmas!

Santa Hacks and Facts for Inquiring Minds

Good Day World!

Here's some Santa Hacks and Facts:

That's it. 
You're tired of sneaking around the house to hide the presents, telling your child that No, those aren't squirrels in the attic, it's Santa on the roof!, eating the carrots left out for Rudolph (okay, so maybe you still enjoy those cookies for Santa..) and holding your breath every time your kid uses the internet. 
It's time to let them know the truth. That Santa is fake. A myth. A story. A fraud. Nothing special. Here's how.

* Santa Claus, Saint Nicholas, Saint Nick, Father Christmas, Kris Kringle, Santy, or simply Santa is a figure with legendary, historical and folkloric origins who, in many Western cultures, is said to bring gifts to the homes of good children on 24 December, the night before Christmas Day

* Here's what Santa looks like according to this 1823 poem "A Visit From St. Nicholas" by caricaturist and political cartoonist Thomas Nast.

* Here's Santa's Phone Number…Grab your family and give him a call at 951-262-3062 to recieve a holiday greeting from Santa and leave your wish list.

* Your kids can keep track of Santa all December long while playing with his elves here.

* Will Ferrell Is the New Santa Claus! Check out this funny video

* 11 Insane Things You Didn't Know About Santa Claus

Time for me to walk on down the road...

I don't think bottled air is going to solve China's pollution problem, but it is making one Canadian a lot of money!

Good Day World!

Back in the day when I was selling newspaper advertising competition was fierce. 

And this was before the Internet. You can only imagine how much harder it is nowadays.

I remember saying during sales meetings that a great salesman should be able to sell anything. Like selling snow to an Eskimo for example.

Years later, I noticed that when I stopped to put air in my tire it was no longer a free service. I had to drop a quarter into a little machine that gave me a minute (or two, I don't remember exactly) of air. 

Back to the present.

I just finished reading an article about how bad the air pollution is in China. It promtly brought to mind this story about how a Canadian man is selling fresh air in cannisters to the Chinese.

Now that's a great salesman.

Time for me to walk on down the road...

21st Century Christmas Icon: Zombie Claus!

                 Good Day World!

Have you been good little boys and girls this year?

You better have, because otherwise you're going to get a visit from Zombie Claus!

Yes, Zombie Claus. You know why?

Because zombies are so damn popular in our society today. Like these video games: Star Wars Zombies, Santa's Zombie Elves, and Zombie Christmas Story to give a few quick examples.

Take a listen to this hip song produced for charity last year:
Does Santa Claus Visit Zombie-Kids?

If you're interested in getting into the spirit of things here's a video on how to turn yourself into Zombie Claus. Be the life center of the party when you arrive to give out scary gifts to bad little boys and girls!

All in fun, okay? 

If you're a Christmas traditionalist, don't let this post bother you. I'm not advocating anything. Simply observing how popular zombies are in our culture now.

Even during the holidays.

Time for me to walk on down the road... 

Don't Worry, CHRISTMAS wins 'the War on Christmas' Every Year!

Good Day World!

Do you know where the expression "...the War on Christmas" comes from?

The answer is not the Republican Party.

The expression "the War on Christmas" has been used in the media to denote Christmas-related controversies.

We can thank conservative commentators such as Peter Brimelow and Bill O'Reilly for inserting their paranoia into the holiday since 1996.

Brimelow and O'Reilly claimed any specific mention of the term "Christmas" or its religious aspects was being increasingly censored, avoided, or discouraged by a number of advertisers, retailers, government (prominently schools), and other public and secular organizations.

Jeff Schweitzer, a commentator for The Huffington Post, addressed the position of commentators such as O'Reilly, stating that: 

"There is no war on Christmas; the idea is absurd at every level. Those who object to being forced to celebrate an other's religion are drowning in Christmas in a sea of Christianity dominating all aspects of social life. An 80 percent majority can claim victim hood only with an extraordinary flight from reality."

So, now you know where the term came from. And, why it gets recycled every year on Fox News.

As if we weren't already polarized enough in this country, this stupid meme/controversy rolls around annually, like the Grinch trying to spoil Christmas.

But it isn't going to happen! Christmas wins every year.

Time for me to walk on down the road...

Why Stop at Just Ugly Sweater Parties?

Good Day World!

I saw my son, and his girlfriend, on Facebook modeling ugly sweaters at an "Ugly Sweater" party, and it got me to thinking (always a dangerous proposition).

Why stop there?

Why not have Ugly Pants Parties? 

My example here is just a suggestion. Imagine what you could come up with?

We really should have Ugly Hat Parties.

And Ugly Socks parties.

There's already Ugly People parties - I go to at least one every December.

Now we're warming up for the holidays...

How about Elf parties? Cosplayers ought to really get into the spirit of things there.

I'm saving the best for last...

How about an Ugly Politician Party? That way none of them will be left out, because they're all ugly...in one way, or another.

Time for me to walk on down the road...

In the spirit of the season I've got some gifts for politicians

                                                         Good Day World!

Despite the fact that politicians are my least favorite people in the whole world, it is Christmas time, so I'm passing out the following presents:

To Donald Trump: A realistic hair piece.

To Ted Cruz: A copy of  the book, 12 Rules for Mixing Religion and Politics by Peter Montgomery.

 To Marco Rubio: I bronzed his most recent Lobby Award Plaque from GEO GROUP, the nation's second-largest for-profit prison company.

To Bernie Sanders: An appointment to get a buzz haircut at a prestigious beauty college.

To Hillary Clinton: A one-year free membership with Radical Honesty, a group who teaches how to actually live an authentic life.

To Martin O'Malley: Oh boy is this awkward ...I didn't get a gift for you because (like the rest of the country) I never heard of you before you filed for president this year!

To President Obama: A special appointment for same day ear-reduction surgery at The Mayo Clinic.

Time for me to walk on down the road...