Monday, April 8, 2024

The Rapture Didn't Happen to the Dismay of Trump-Loving Evangelicals

Thirty-two Million Americans turned out to see their last total solar eclipse until August 23, 2044.

The path of the eclipse provided wily marketers with a financial opportunity in Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Illinois. Kentucky, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, New Hampshire and Maine.

It was like an unexpected holiday as delighted Americans loaded up on merchandise associated with the Great Northern American Eclipse.

But there were some Americans who were disappointed. Very disappointed.

Trump-loving Evangelicals were expecting to be "raptured" during the celestial event. Some other Trump cult subsidiary groups were expecting God to climb down off his throne and to anoint Trump as the next savior.

It got scary for many Trump cultists who were wearing Trump-branded safety glasses (made in China). 

Thousands of them were seen at public gatherings in parks and other outside venues with arms stretched out in front of them and walking into trees and other inanimate objects.

Casuality counts haven't been totaled yet for Trump followers who went blind using his special safety glasses.

The good news about the eclipse is it brought families together across the nation to experience a once-in-lifetime event during what has turned out to be a very stressful year. It was like the country took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

As it Stands, for a brief moment in time the majority of Americans agreed on one common thing - how cool the total eclipse was.

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