welcome to fight night in America!
Tonight's pugilists and presidential candidates are, "Dozing Donny" in the red corner representing the MAGA cult, and in the blue corner we have "Sleepy Joe" representing the majority of average Americans.
Referee: Okay gentleman I expect a clean fight (Trump breaks out in laughter) and no low blows!
Round 1
Reporter: "The two men are slowly circling the ring uttering curses.
Two minutes later..."The two antagonists continue to circle the ring uttering curses.
"Just before the bell rang Sleepy Joe suddenly unleashed a combination of punches while Dozing Donny was ranting about windmills and whales. As he plodded back to his corner "Dozing Donny" complained the fight was fixed.
Round 2
Reporter: "Tired from circling around in the first round the two aging opponents stood to-to-toe and tried to keep their balance while throwing awkward punches at each other.
"At one point Dozing Donny threw a sloth like punch to Sleepy Joe's groin area causing him to take a step back and look at the referee for a call. When none came Sleepy Joe delivered his famous left-handed "Scranton Strike" to Dozing Donny's jaw.
It was enough to make Dozing Donny stumble over to his corner and cry to his trainer who was trying not to look disgusted."
Round 3
Reporter: Dozing Donny has refused to come out of his corner until Sleepy Joe agrees not to hit him in the face again. The referee went over to the judges, and they all are conferring about what to do.
"Meanwhile Dozing Donny has his IPad out and his calling his MAGA minions to save him from further punishment.
"Okay. Here comes the referee. He's going to the center of the ring and calling for the fighters to come over to him.
Referee: "It's legal to punch your opponent in the face. You should have known that before getting into the ring in the first place. Either keep fighting or slink off to your lair as a loser."
As Dozing Donny was being helped out of the ring he shouted, "You're going to hear from my lawyers."
Post Fight Interview
Reporter: "So how do you feel about sending Dozing Donny back to his lair?"
Sleepy Joe: "What?"
Reporter: "How does it feel to win?"
Sleepy Joe: "It reminds me of that time I had to lay down the law on CornPop and threaten to drag him off the 3m diving board."
As it Stands, an injection of humor in these dire times is the best medicine.
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