Tuesday, January 9, 2024

There's Nothing Graceful About Growing Old

The next time I hear someone talking about growing old gracefully I'm going to clean their clock!

There's nothing graceful about wrinkles, or your skin turning into parchment paper.

There's nothing graceful about palsied hands so bony their almost luminescent.

There's nothing graceful about food running down your chin because your dentures are loose.

There's no way to be graceful when you stop in the middle of conversations and forget the current subject and start babbling about something else.

There's nothing graceful about wearing eyeglasses so thick your eyes look like boiled eggs.

There's no way you can appear graceful when the battery on your hearing aid isn't working and you're desperately trying to read lips and look cool by nodding constantly.

It's hard to be graceful when your inner organs are at war after years of misuse resulting in flatulence and worse. 

It's also hard to be graceful when your children, and great grandchildren talk about technological things that simply don't make sense to you...without getting irritated.

I know people mean well when they say someone is aging gracefully despite being hard of hearing, nearly blind, and barely being able to walk but let's get real... there's nothing graceful about growing old!

As it stands, I thought a silly rant might make your day today. I hope I achieved that goal. 

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