I read an article about the parents of one ten-year-old girl who must have wished they were invisible at a Red Lobster Restuarant. Their daughter decided she felt bad for all the lobsters in the tank, took a chair and smashed the tank to free them. Mission accomplished.
The parents were told not to ever come back again. I'm surprised they weren't sued.
Can you imagine how embarrassed they must have been tiptoeing around live lobsters on the way out of that restaurant?
Moving on...
One of my favorite embarrassing stories involves my darling wife of 48 years, Shirley. She and two of her friends were driving back to northern California (Eureka) from San Francisco a decade ago when they all needed to stop for a potty break.
They found a shopping center right off the 5 Freeway and went into a store to use their facilities. On the way back to the car, after leisurely stopping and checking items out they were in the parking lot when one of the ladies started laughing...
"You have a toilet paper tail Shirley," she shrieked with laughter while pointing at her bum. My thoroughly humiliated wife will never get to forget that incident because of those two friends... and me!
All right. It's my turn.
Once upon a time I was a sleepwalker (six years old) and it often put me in awkward circumstances. But none were more embarrassing than the night I peed on my birthday cake!
Allow me to explain. My parents and Aunt and Uncle were sitting around the kitchen table and drinking beer long after I went to bed.
At one point I walked past them and went straight for the refrigerator. Before anyone could react, I opened it, dropped my shorts and sprayed the contents within - which included the remnants of my birthday cake.
My father guided me back (I was still asleep) to my bedroom. From that day on it became family lore. The good news is I'm no longer embarrassed.
The fact is I've had lots of embarrassing moments during my seven decades. I'm strangely proud of them and chalk them up to lessons in life.
Memories...
--- the time I was at a college journalism awards banquet and took a fork full of baked potato with Horseradish on it (spoiler - I hate Horseradish) and was in the process of spewing it up on the table when my name was called out for writing the best Sports story of the year. Needless to say, all eyes were on me.
--- my first date with Shirley when I took her to a fancy restaurant in Hollywood and was trying to act suave and worldly and almost led her into a janitor's closet instead of the dining room!
--- in high school I went on a surfing double date with a girl in one of my classes along with my sister and her boyfriend (who had a station wagon). I'm not going to bore you with how the date came about. Instead, I'll cut right to the chase...
I was not a surfer. Nor had I ever tried to surf. My sister's boyfriend was a surfer (who lucky for me had an extra surfboard) and said he could teach me how. The bottom line is I wanted to impress my bikini clad date.
As usual, my 16-year-old hubris didn't allow for me to consider that I might look like an ass out in those breakers.
In record time I wiped out. Again. And again, until the last time when my nose collided under pressure with the tip of the board. Blood spurted out instantly. As I looked out toward the beach, I saw my sister and the girl I wanted to impress laughing they're asses off!
Did I mention it was first and last time she went on a date with me?
Listen.
Try remembering your most embarrassing moments and you may be surprised at your attitude toward them now. The very least that will happen is you'll smile.
As it stands, I believe that we all need to be humiliated at times just to stay real.
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