Tuesday, September 6, 2022

An Anal Analysis: What Do You Think About Perineum Sunning?

It's no secret (after all it's been around for years) but I'll bet you never heard of tanning your butthole for better health. 

Maybe you have, but in the off case you didn't, read on.

If you're a TikToker you may be aware of Perineum Sunning (sounds official, doesn't it?) because it's trending recently.

The murky origin of the fad involving pointing one's butt and genitals at the sun is suspect because it could be an offshoot of some wellness cult, or just one big fat joke!

Like... "When the mooooon... is in the seventh house... And Uranus... aligns with the Sun...."

Thus far I haven't met someone who admits to tanning their butthole. BUT... I have met Hispanics who confess to bleaching their buttholes. True story. I've been told it's a "beauty" thing and not to worry my little head about it.

Facts: Like opinions everyone has a butthole. There are millions of people running around like rogue buttholes stinking up our society with conspiracies. 

In an era where MAGA politicians have their heads up their buttholes, it's a badge of honor. Better yet, the further they have their heads up Trump's bloated butt the better.

If we're going to talk about buttholes the subject of stink has to come up. Listen... the cure for stinking buttholes is a mainstream subject. 

Who knew? Ads on TV and in publications proudly display little jars of cream that'll make you butthole smell like flowers. Or, whatever.

Back to tanning butts. One thing that comes to mind is getting a sunburned butthole. What level of hell would that put you through?

I'll bet there's Yoga groups and health nuts who greet the rising sun by laying back, raising both legs, and pointing their buttholes skyward. Not a pretty sight but who cares? It's their way of communing with nature.

As it stands, I'll stick to pruning pot plants as my way to commune with nature.

1 comment:

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