Friday, May 20, 2011

It Can be Hard Keeping a Straight Face as a COURT REPORTER

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

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ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

WITNESS:    He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'

ATTORNEY:  And why did that upset you?

WITNESS:    My name is Susan!

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ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS:    Yes.

ATTORNEY:  And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS:    I forget..

ATTORNEY:  You forget?  Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

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ATTORNEY:  She had three children, right?

WITNESS:    Yes.

ATTORNEY:  How many were boys?

WITNESS:    None.

ATTORNEY:  Were there any girls?

WITNESS:       Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new

attorney?

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ATTORNEY:  How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS:    By death.

ATTORNEY:  And by whose death was it terminated?

WITNESS:    Take a guess.

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ATTORNEY:  Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS:    He was about medium height and had a beard

ATTORNEY:  Was this a male or a female?

WITNESS:    Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.

photo source

Preakness Stakes Infield: Where Debauchary Runs Wild While the Horses Run in Second Leg of the Famous Triple Crown

Image:

I had no idea that horse racing offered such diverse entertainment.

If the world doesn’t end tomorrow (and I suspect it won’t) then consider going to this party:

Pimlico race track officials offer a wild party in the infield of the famous race track. They walk a fine line, every year between losing control of these annual parties… and losing the event. Something no one wants to happen. It makes money. That’s the real name of the game isn’t it folks?

The People’s Party, also dubbed by locals as the “Biggest Outdoor Frat Party in the World,” offers an infield crowd of diverse groups of people, with professionals, racing fans, college students. It’s typically a fun-seeking, younger crowd, but there are plenty of veterans who have been partaking in the celebration for decades. The array of outfits and costumes is befitting for a carnival.

Many will be well-inebriated hours before the Preakness is run. It’s not your average day at the racetrack. It certainly isn't a place for children.The 2010 infield scene featured more security and much-improved dining options and beverage stands. But the insanity still existed. You could still witness the “Toilet Run,” also known as the running of the urinals, where participants must dash across the top of numerous porta-potties while getting pelted with objects from onlookers. There also were passed-out people all over the ground, some fighting and, of course, women flashing their bare-skinned chests.

The Obama Deception: Why Cornel West Went Ballistic

The moral philosopher Cornel West (shaking hands with Obama), recently said if Barack Obama’s ascent to power was a morality play, he would be the voice of conscience. Rahm Emanuel, a cynical product of the Chicago political machine, would be Satan. Emanuel in the first scene of the play would dangle power, privilege, fame and money before Obama. West would warn Obama that the quality of a life is defined by its moral commitment, that his legacy will be determined by his willingness to defy the cruel assault by the corporate state and the financial elite against the poor and working men and women, and that justice must never be sacrificed on the altar of power. (click here for more on this Opinion piece by Chris Hedges)

Friday morning musings: the world ends tomorrow, and other stuff

Pull up a chair, grab a cup of hot coffee, and get confortable: this may be your last day on earth! Judgment Day is set for Saturday…

Thousands of people around the country have spent the last few days taking to the streets and saying final goodbyes before Saturday, Judgment Day, when they expect to be absorbed into heaven in a process known as the rapture. Nonbelievers, they hold, will be left behind to perish along with the world over the next five months.

With their doomsday T-shirts, placards and leaflets, followers — often clutching Bibles — are typically viewed as harmless proselytizers from outside mainstream religion. But their convictions have frequently created the most tension within their own families, particularly with relatives whose main concern about the weekend is whether it will rain.

Photo - Abby Haddad Carson and Robert Carson say Saturday is Judgment Day; the children, Joseph, Faith and Grace, right, do not.

Not gnarly! Lifeguard pay of $200,000 riles Calif. beach city

Who had any idea lifeguards made this much money? They make more than nurses and many other professions that require years of schooling. Heck, all you have to do is sit and watch the pretty girls in thongs!

The debate over the merits of having lifeguards as well-paid as some CEOs has divided this wealthy coastal city, spawned a pro-lifeguard Facebook page and created headlines as far away as England ("Time for a Career Change? California's Baywatch lifeguards paid up to $210,000 per year!").

Happy Birthday Cher! You’re 65 today and still look great!

When it comes to Cher, the regular rules don't apply. Born Cherilyn Sarkisian, she was a bride  by 18, a No. 1 pop star by 19 and a TV star by 25. It was during her stint on "The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour" that she developed her signature style with the aid of designer Bob Mackie and an ocean of faux locks. She has had "every color wig you can imagine," she once told InStyle. "You cannot do things with your hair because all that styling ruins it. And I love my hair." Cher may be outrageous, but the Hollywood veteran is certainly not reckless.

Image: Tour guide Kim Voorhies of Lafayette, La., giving a day to rescuing osprey chicks in nests too close to floodwaters from the Morganza Spillway, hands a chick to licensed bird rehabilitator Cindy Ransonet of New Iberia, La.

 Baby ospreys saved from gators as flood rises

The rising waters unleashed in parts of Louisiana by the opening of the Morganza spillway, to protect New Orleans and Baton Rouge from Mississippi River flooding, has sent people and wildlife searching for higher ground while leaving birds such as the osprey chicks at risk.

In recent days, bird rehabilitators have swooped in and rescued osprey chicks and eggs from this lake in the Atchafalaya Basin.

A guide who usually shows them to tourists and photographers got federal approval, saying the nests would soon be under water or in reach of alligators.

That’s all for now. Thanks for stopping by. It’s time for me to head on down the road…

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Part II: Pursuing more psychodelic posters just because…

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What can I say? I love these old 60s and 70s posters. I remember making a few of my own, but with nowhere near the expertise displayed here.

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It’s strange seeing them after all of these years. I still remember my first black light poster – it was The Doors. Rock on!

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All of these images are available at Google Images Public domain. I’ll share more on another day.

The Social Security/Medicare "Crisis" Is Really a Choice - Between the Middle Class and the Wealthy

Guest Opinion

By Richard (RJ) Eskow

“The word for today is "choice," not "crisis."

It's time to stop saying the country "can't afford" Medicare, Social Security, or other programs that benefit the middle class. If I told my mother that I "can't mow the lawn" or "I can't do all that homework" when I was a kid, she'd say: "Don't say you can't. Say you don't want to." (The outcome of these exchanges was inevitable. Hello, lawnmower ...)

Now we're told there's a "crisis" and we can no longer afford the middle-class American dream. The truth is the opposite: Our long-term problems aren't caused by the middle class, but by politicians who choose to sacrifice the middle class for wealthy interests.

All this talk about a "debt crisis" is a way for politicians to avoid telling the truth: They'd rather say they "have to" sacrifice the middle class than admit they're making a choice.” Read the rest here.

Image source

One infuriating example of public assistance program abuse

Taking advantage of the system…Fick doesn’t give a flying f**k who cares!

It’s people like this clown who hurt the public welfare recipients who really need help. His picture is going to be put up in every Conservative politicians office in America.

He’s made himself the poster boy of public abuse, but could care less what you think about it. He’s getting his…note the modified mullet.

A Michigan Lottery $2 million jackpot winner from last year is eligible and collecting some food stamp assistance under a loophole state officials have been working for months to close.

Leroy Fick, who lives near Saginaw, took a lump sum payment for his June 2010 prize, buying a house, a used 2008 Audi and investing the rest, attorney John Wilson said on Wednesday.

"If you're going to ... try to make me feel bad, you aren't going to do it," Fick told a reporter from local station TV5.”

Welcome to my Thursday morning coffee klatch mateys…

The coffee is hot and tasty and the news is what it is! For openers there was a bit of a mutiny on stranded MSC cruise ship yesterday. 'We want the captain,' shouted passengers, who faced another ordeal after disembarking

Police comb city for mullet-wearing bandit

Police in Ohio are searching for a mullet-wearing bandit they say has been on a bank-robbing spree across the state.

A man sporting the distinctive hairdo -- short on the top, tight on the sides and long in the back -- is a suspect in at least two bank robberies in Columbus over the past two weeks, FBI Special Agent Harry Trombitas told Reuters, and may have been involved in a third holdup in the northeast part of the state.

Jamie McCourt

Jamie McCourt asks judge to order sale of Dodgers

My Dodgers have been in dire straights lately. The almost didn’t make the May team payroll. Now this:

“In a court filing made public today, Jamie McCourt says the Dodgers are on 'the brink of financial ruin' due to Frank McCourt's 'mismanagement.' She asks that the judge act before Major League Baseball seizes the club, in order to get the highest sale price for the team.”

Woman's quest for missing dad leads to Utah desert

It was supposed to be Kenneth Schneider's goodbye to the world, the last solo road trip the 78-year-old would take, from Washington state back to his native Utah.

No one knows just how or why the trip ended as abruptly as it did. But, more than five years later, as she clutched her father's skull in the harsh southern Utah desert, Leslie Schneider finally felt an odd catharsis and relief that her family's own emotional quest for answers also had come to an end.

That’s all for now folks. Time for me to head on down the road…

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

‘Go for the moon. If you don't get it, you'll still be heading for a star’

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Google Images – Quote by Willis Reed

Lawmaker Says Women Should Plan Ahead in Case of Rape, Since He Carries A Spare Tire

Rep. Pete DeGraaf, a Mulvane Republican makes a complete ass of himself

“A Republican just suggested a woman should have to "plan ahead" and obtain insurance in case she is raped.  She should have a plan ready in case she is raped. I cannot repeat that enough -- a Republican lawmaker believes that women should be planning for a future in which she is raped, just in case. - Robin Marty

Blog Break Until Presidential Election is Over

I finally hit the wall today. I can't think of what to say about all of the madness going on in this country right now. I'm a writer...