WARNING! DON'T READ THIS POST IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED BY SCATOLOGICAL HUMOR
In a strictly partisan vote in the House and Senate Republicans unified to declare "Diarrhea Day" a national holiday to be held on August 1st, 2025.
House Speaker Maga Mike Johnson gave a speech in the rotunda praising the president's loose lips and the daily diarrhea that he spews from his anus shaped mouth. It was a shitty moment of watery word stools that energized his base.
Meanwhile Maga morons across the land put together bullshit competitions for the new upcoming holiday. Scatological speeches - all inspired by their master - will headline the fun activities planned to celebrate poop pouring from the president's oval mouth.
Other activities include:
* The Fastest Ass-Licker - a five-yard sprint to a replica of Trump's bare bum.
* Using that lifelike Trump rump competitors are timed to see who can crawl up his massive ass the fastest.
* Competitors will compete to see who can hold their breath the longest inside the Trump replica's rear end.
Among the prizes given out lucky winners will get to stay in Trump's private bathroom and experience what it's like going up a live ass after he took a crap.
"If I tell someone to take a train up my Hersey Tunnel they say, 'Yes sir!' and 'Thank you sir'"
Disgusted Democrats were quick to reply to Trump's stinking holiday and took steps to hold nationwide poop protests against the feces festivals being held by Maga minions.
According to Maga event planners Turd-On-A-Stick is expected to be the new favorite fair food for Trumpies. However, Dung Doughnuts are expected to push the excrement excitement levels to a new level of grossness. The loyal planners even came up with a new hot beverage called Nightsoil Coffee guaranteed to make your breath smell like ass.
As it Stands, I warned you dear reader. This is not my typical post. I think the spirit of George Carlin (famous comedian) inspired me!
