Tuesday, June 12, 2018

Overheard During 1-on-1 Meet With Kim and Trump: 'Whose Your Hairdresser?'

This iconic moment when an American President Met With a North Korean Dictator

                                               Good Day World!

I wish I was a gecko on the wall when Kim and Trump had their private meeting (translators don't count) yesterday.

I can just imagine what it must have been like with those two bullies and egotists trying to outcharm one another. What a dynamic! 

Let's listen in...

Trump: "I love your haircut Kim. Whose your hairdresser?"

Kim: "Don't fuck with me fatty. At least it's my hair!"

Trump: "I can see we're going to get along swell. By the way, did you take a shower today? You smell like bad kimchi." 

Kim: "Look whose talking you bloated pig! If my advisers hadn't told me you were a male, I would have thought you're pregnant!" 

Trump: "Enough sweet talk you little turd. I need you to give up all your nukes right now. I told my people you would. You wouldn't want to make me out to be a liar would you?" 

After Kim stopped laughing...

"By Buddha's balls! You're reputation precedes you Oh Liar-In-Chief. My intelligence people say you lie even more than I do."

Trump: "Listen, compliments won't get you anywhere. I wrote The Art of the Deal, and you should be kowtowing to me any minute now.

Kim: "They told me you were crazy, you old dotard."

Trump: "Everyone calls you crazy, you stuffed little worm." 

Kim: "I brought my own toilet. Would you like to lick the rim?"

Trump: You're tactics are weak. And I take back what I said about your haircut! It looks like horrible!"

Kim: "Those white rims around your eyes look like you're an owl that was caught eating Cheetos!"

Trump: How long do you want to go on like this before we go to the next meeting where we'll tell everyone we're making substantial progress, and we'll listen to our advisers like we really care, but we'll do whatever the hell we want anyway."

Kim: "You really do have small hands. Let's show the world how important we are."

Kim knocks on the double doors. They're opened by waiting aides and hopeful negotiators. Kim and Trump try to walk out side-by-side, but the double doors aren't wide enough and there's a tense moment when they're belly-to-belly before they burst out into the hallway.

Camera's start snapping when the two men shook hands and smiled like seals!

Time for me to walk on down the road...

Monday, June 11, 2018

Trump's Bigly Success At G-7 Impresses Kim So Much He Gives Up Nukes Before Meeting


                                             Good Day World!

An early report today suggest that Kim was so overawed by Trump's skillful negotiations in just one day at the G-7 Summit in Canada, that he contacted John Bolton and asked how quickly Trump wanted his nukes.

It was an awesome moment predicted by Hannity and Rudy; two of Trump's favorite suck-asses.

Trump sycophant and aide, Larry Kudlow, demonstrated to Kim that when it comes to getting his way, Trump will trash allies and enemies alike.

Claiming Trudeau stabbed Donny in the back, Kudlow came up with an alternate reality to what really happened. This tactic had been a favorite with the Trump administration that employs it daily.

Leaders all over the world are trembling. Trump's diplomatic powers have set a new standard for bullying and corruption in international politics. 

Russia was the first country this morning to advocate that Trump get the Nobel Peace Prize, but it was quickly followed by China, and the soon-to-be, one unified Korea.

Trump tweeted this morning, "Forget about that United We Stand stuff. Our country's new motto is One World Under Our Master Trump.

Time for me to walk on down the road...







Sunday, June 10, 2018

Someone Needs To Tell Trump That Threesomes Seldom Work Out


                                              Good Day World!

Since that moment when Trump looked into Putin's eyes and fell in love with his authoritarian regime, it's been a bromance for the ages.

Clinging to the hope that Putin still loves him, Trump continues to look for ways to elevate Russia on the world stage. He still talks about Putin wistfully, looking forward to the day they can officially announce their bromance.

But there's trouble in River City Singapore.

Donny has been courting North Korea's dictator Kim for a while. He's gone so far as to arrange a meeting between the two. Something that's never happened since the Korean War came to an uneasy end.

It's obvious that Donny has fallen for another dictator and thus the upcoming rendezvous. I can see how he admires Kim's iron control of his people. Much like Putin's control over his people.

There's something about "strong men" that get's Trump hot. He barely conceals his desire to be a dictator. His attacks against our justice system, from the courts to the intelligence community, have undermined the rule of law in America.

His desire to do away with the free press increases every day. On his way to the meeting with Kim, Trump stopped and talked with reporters. When one identified himself as being from CNN Trump attacked him - calling the whole organization "Fake News." A term he proudly owns.

Here's the thing:

If Trump's meeting with Kim goes well and a budding bromance comes from their meet-and-greet opportunity, it could get dicey.

Remember Putin? He's not going to like losing his puppet-bitch to some fat Asian guy. He was convinced Trump was enchanted with his round eyes that resemble shark's lifeless orbs.

Before this gets out-of-hand and we have a three-way nuclear lover's spat, someone better tell Trump threesomes seldom work out well.

It's going to be a tough uphill battle though.

Time for me to walk on down the road...



Saturday, June 9, 2018

In Case You Thought The Putin-Trump Bromance Was Over, It Isn't

Good Day World!

As Trump stopped to chat with some reporters before leaving for the G-7 Summit yesterday, he casually threw out a verbal grenade.

He want's Russia to have a place back in the summit. "It use to be the G-8," our clueless Liar-In-Chief droned on to reporters who listened raptly to the crazy old bastard's babble.

He made it clear that Russia should be invited back into the group of the world's leading economies without paying a price for its illegal actions that led to its ouster.

Boom!

Maybe he just wanted to muddy up the waters and distract from the fact that he's on an island with his stupid tariffs. Claiming to be "really tough" against Russia, Donny floated out the possibility that Putin and company "should be at the table."

I'm not sure what time of the day it was in Russia when Trump told reporters how Russia should be a player again, but if Putin was awake and heard that...he was smiling. Probably still smiling today.

Whatever Putin has on Trump, has been paying off in different ways, but this bald attempt to restore his lover boy to the economic summit in the future, had to rank high with his hopes for Donny boy.

Knowing that Trump's time in the White House may be limited after Mueller's report is released, Putin must be pushing for anything to benefit Russia right now. He knows that his "boy" is doing the best he can under difficult circumstances.

Time for me to walk on down the road...

Friday, June 8, 2018

Giuliani is Trump's 'Contrary'

Good Day World!

Rudy Giuliani, Trump's slavish personal friend and lawyer, is a Contrary.

Have you ever heard of a "Contrary?"

It's was a term used by Native Americans who lived in the Great Plains. 

Members of the tribe, in this case the Amerindian Indians, who decided to live doing everything backwards and practicing contrary behavior, lived in a small cult within the tribe.

Thus far, everything we've heard from Giuliani, since he suddenly popped into the picture, seems to have caused multiple embarrassments for Trump. The opposite of what you'd think a lawyer should be doing for a client.

We all know how Donny is looking forward to bumping bellies with Kim in three days, and the last thing he wants is to have the negotiations called to a halt. Again.

So what does the mouth that roared, Giuliani, tell CNN the other day? He bragged that Kim came begging on his knees to Trump, pleading for another chance to meet.

I wonder how that went over with Kim?

I suppose the possibility of anyone paying attention to Trump's Contrary Giuliani, has passed by now. He's just become another odd bit player in Trump's circus of corruption.

Time for me to walk on down the road...

Thursday, June 7, 2018

Trump: Ready, Aim, Fire, At America's Friends!

Good Day World!

That's it.

Trump's tariff's against Mexico, Canada, and The European Union (EU) is the opening salvo of a trade war.

His preposterous claim that the tariffs are being imposed for national security reasons are - as Canada's Prime Minister Justin Trudeau commented - an insult.

Trump demonstrated his historical knowledge in a phone call with Trudeau when he made a snide remark regarding Canadians - "Weren't you the guys that burned the White House down in 1812?"

There's no word of Trudeau's response, but he had to be thinking the same think I am: Wow! The asshole doesn't even know it was Great Britain fighting us in the war of 1812.

Trump is treating our closest allies like enemies. His budding bromance with France's Emmanuel Macron - fun fact: he's talked more with Macron than any other world leader thus far - is wilting rapidly as Macron lashed back at him over the tariffs.

He promised his country would retaliate and urged the EU do the same thing. He also warned about the dangers of Trump's extreme nationalism, and what it means to the world economy.

The EU Commission President Jean Claude Juncker, and German Chancellor Angela Merkel have also promised to retaliate against the tariffs. They all know it's protectionism, "pure and simple," as Juncker put it.

Instead of going after China - the real bad actor in the trade wars - Trump has chosen to go after our allies like a honey badger on meth.

The real pisser here is Americans are going to feel the effects of this trade war where it hurts the most - our pocket books. Prices on products throughout the spectrum will go up.

The EU is purposely targeting products in states where Trump supporters live in greater numbers. Message sent. 

This is going to be a nasty.

Just the way Trump likes it.

Time for me to walk on down the road...

Wednesday, June 6, 2018

It's Come To This: The UN Says Trump's Zero Tolerance Immigration Policy Is Illegal

Good Day World!

Growing up, one of the first things I was taught in school was that the United States was the "good guy wearing a white hat" in world affairs.

Remember that? The world respected us.

Looking back I can see that the US has not always been a good world neighbor, and has done a lot of questionable things internationally.

But...and this is important...we always held the high ground when it came to equal rights for humanity. Our presidents have always led the moral charge against countries that treated their citizens badly.

If there was one thing we stood for it was freedom. Freedom from oppression. Freedom of expression. Freedom of religion. Freedom from fear of being ruled by a tyrant.

Yesterday, the United Nations called upon Trump to halt the practice of separating immigrant children from their families at the southern border.

According to a UN report released today:

America leads the developed world in youth poverty, infant mortality, incarceration, and obesity.

How embarrassing. 

Whatever international high ground we had going into the Trump era is now gone with the wind. It's been replaced by protectionism and an assault against immigrants fleeing violent countries in South America.

Trump blames what's happening to immigrants on the Democrats, claiming its their fault, when in fact he gave Session the marching orders to take it to this draconian point. Obviously it wasn't happening until Trump got his fat ass in the Oval Office.

William Spindler of the UN refugee agency said, "The right to claim asylum is a fundamental human right, and it is also part of the law in the United States." 

After canceling the United States partnership in the Paris Climate Accords, and backing out of the international treaty with Iran, Trump has managed to put us on an island alone, no longer a world leader...or even a player.

He's busy alienating our allies with ridiculous tariffs that experts warn will hurt the American economy and millions of Americans.

In the span of just over 500 days, Trump has managed to outrage and disappoint our allies throughout the world.

Being reduced to a human rights offender...is the last indignity for once proud Americans whom the world once looked to for leadership. 

Time for me to walk on down the road...

Tuesday, June 5, 2018

Reflections on a Major Milestone: Graduating From High School


                                                Good Day World!

It's been fifty years this month since I graduated from Azusa High School, in Azusa, California.

I remember feeling free as a bird. I already considered myself an adult and that little ceremony ending with a diploma confirmed it.

Teenage boys faced a daunting choice upon graduation in 1968. The draft was on and the chance of ending up in that dirty little war in Vietnam was all too real.

Many teenage boys went to Canada seeking asylum, or they went to college immediately out of high school to get a draft deferment. If they could afford to. Most inner city youth, especially minorities, ended up in combat positions in Vietnam.

The country was torn apart between conservative patriotism and liberal outrage against the illegal war in southeast Asia.

Today, I look at these young men and women graduating from high school in a divided country, much like it was in 1968.

I think about the students at Parkland and how they organized after their school was terrorized by a crazed shooter.

In the best tradition of the 1960s, students across the country organized to change gun laws. They've taken on the lobbying arm of the NRA, and the congressman taking bribes from them.

Once again, the youth in this nation have taken up the moral banner for the betterment of our society. Their voices are strong and strident on internet social platforms and in public.

Leading the resistance against Trump's corruption and absolute disregard for the rule of law, are these brash youths who cannot tolerate the "good old boy system" in congress.

The whole country is also fighting a culture war launched by our racist president who has given the green-light to the alt-right.

Like it or not, graduating from high school is a major milestone in everyone's life, in one way or another. 

What we choose to do in those heady days of newfound independence can set the course for the rest of our lives.

My oldest grandson will be graduating from high school in two weeks. I see him as picking up the torch from my generation and breaking new ground. His peers nationwide are engaging in political activism, like signing up to vote for the midterms.

They hold the future in their hands, much like I did fifty years ago.

Time for me to walk on down the road... 










Monday, June 4, 2018

Going 'Viral' On The Internet Is Not That Hard To Do


                                            Good Day World!

People will watch anything. Especially if its short, controversial, sensational, or idiotic.

Having said that, I watched a clip of a video showing a crayfish lop off it's own claw to escape a pot of boiling soup the other day.

The footage showed a crustacean making a bid for freedom at a restaurant in China. It was posted on China's version of Facebook...Weibo. The guy who posted it adopted the crayfish as a pet.

And now the crayfish is a online hero in a Communist country that eats the little buggers in a savory spice sauce. Odd? Not in today's world of social media.

The easiest ways to shoot viral videos is to capture a crime in progress; record police brutality; record a white supremacist speaking at a college; record road rage; record neighbors fighting; post photos of teenage girls pouting in silly selfies; and animals doing just about anything!

I've just given you The Handbook for Dummy's Who Want Their Post To Go Viral, free of charge. No need to thank me. Just performing a public service.

There's no need to be left behind those popular posts when you go on the internet. Just remember: there's no rules. Only your own imagination holds you back.

I admit, there's one thing I'd like to see go viral...common sense!

Time for me to walk on down the road...

Sunday, June 3, 2018

Trumpies That Drink Coors Just Got Screwed


                                             Good Day World!

From what I've seen since Trump slithered into the White House, he can do just about anything and get away with it. 

Up to a point.

The courts have prevented him from a number of attempts at thwarting the Constitution. But at the rate Trump is appointing a new generation of conservative judges beholden to him, that may end soon.

He's always concerned about his "base." He spends his waking hours throwing them red meat. But he just screwed them bigly with the his new 25 percent tariff on steel and aluminum coming into the country.

Quick question:

What does a Trump supporter drink?

A) Wine
B) Coors
C) Sake

If you picked B...you're right. 

The Brewer's Association, based in Colorado, is warning that the price of beer will be going up. Especially for products like Coors who use aluminum cans.

In other words, Trump is screwing his own supporters with these silly-assed tariffs, but he's too stupid to realize it. Even after the Brewer's Associations stopped by Washington to have a chat with him before he raised the tariffs, it didn't make a difference.

A chain effect will now happen to small breweries and big companies, hurting the business inside and out. The majority of Republicans - including turtle-look-alike Mitch McConnell, tried to get him to back off. 

Market experts warned Trump there would be a trade war if he pulled the twenty-five percent tariff bullshit on our allies. Now - big surprise - Mexico, Canada, and the European Union are all retaliating...as in a (you guessed it) a TRADE WAR.

Time for me to walk on down the road...

Here's a Collection of Cartoons Because You Need to Laugh

It's time for a laugh break. With all the chaos and hatred engulfing our country we need to divert our attention toward something positi...