What do I wear? I’m now officially ordained to perform a 1950s Zombie Wedding in Las Vegas?

My niece asked me to marry her and her partner in Las Vegas this October. So I went online and got ordained by the Universal Life Church in order to comply with her request.

I received this:

“Congratulations! You are now legally ordained for life, though you may relinquish your credentials at any time. AS OF Saturday the 5th of February 2011 YOU HAVE BECOME A MEMBER OF THE PRESTIGIOUS CLERGY. You have earned a title worthy of admiration and respect.

Let it be known on this date that in accordance with the laws of the Universal Life Church Monastery, as ordaining officer, I, Brother Martin, do ordain you into our ministry. From this day forward, you are entitled to all of the rights of an ordained minister. You have the authority to perform marriages, baptisms, and all other ceremonies of the church. You are an independent minister of this church. This is a position that carries with it a burden of responsibility; please respect others and comply with the laws of the land.”

As a member of the Universal Life Church you are granted the ability to:

• Perform marriages, funerals, baptisms, ceremonial rites, and last rites.
• Start your own church, be it brick & mortar or online.
• Absolve others of their sins.
• Use the title Reverend, Minister, Healer, Educator, and more. More info

So…it’s going to be a 1950s Zombie Wedding in OCTOBER and I’m trying to figure out what to wear! Any ideas?

‘Dangerous schizophrenic’ escapee hired to teach at two schools

I think it’s interesting to note that the students didn’t have a problem with their new teacher. They certainly didn’t flick him any shit during his short stay.

MARSEILLE, France (Reuters) – “A mentally ill man from Northern Ireland who once stabbed a work colleague in the neck was hired by a secondary school in France and taught German for nearly a month before his past caught up with him. Lewis Alexander Mawhinney, 26, escaped in November from a psychiatric ward where he had been interned indefinitely and labeled a "dangerous schizophrenic" after he attacked a fellow call center trainee with a knife three years earlier.” STORY HERE.

Sarah Palin trys to cast herself in Reagan mold during event celebrating the 100th anniversary of Reagan's birth

“During a banquet at the Reagan Ranch Center in Santa Barbara, Palin skewered Obama's recent State of the Union address. She suggested that his call to "win the future" through innovation and new investments in clean energy and other research was simply an attempt to increase government spending.” STORY HERE.

Great.  An idiot who wants to be president quoting a dead conservative icon.  Everybody knows she's a moron.  I hope that the Republicans nominate Palin.

What fun everyone will have watching her campaign.  Just to get primed I looked back at the Palin stats....She doesn't read the paper, she doesn't write any of her own material,  she quit her only elected position leaving her constituents in a lurch, she posted a map with gun sight crosshairs targeting Gabby Giffords...and stupidly declared "don't retreat, reload". She removed her gun sight targeting map after Giffords and friends were shot, but not before putting her foot in her mouth again. 

She works for the Fox News right wing propaganda machine owned and operated by some Australian super rich guy.  Why would anyone want this bumbling buffoon at the helm of America? What we need is a brilliant, dedicated-non-quitter who can rally fellow leaders and the people and take action for the betterment of us all. 

Slash the defense budget by at least half. Bring home 90% of military personnel stationed outside of US borders.  Stop wasting money on pointless space travel and focus on improving the water supply, delivering healthy food, developing green energy. and making ours the best educational system in the world.  On the other hand if gun toting is most important to you pick Palin.

Winter not bad enough? How about exploding manholes

“Record snowfall is turning the city's mean streets even meaner, with 65 manholes exploding or catching fire since New Years, a utility spokesman said on Friday.”

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On January 18, manhole fires forces evacuations of homes in Queens, Brooklyn and the Bronx

Record snowfall is turning the city's mean streets even meaner, with 65 manholes exploding or catching fire since New Years, a utility spokesman said on Friday.

With snow piled six feet high for the past month, huge ice chunks raining down on congested intersections and street corners turned into frigid wading pools, flying manhole covers are yet another symptom of winter's wrath.

Story here.

"Reverse Arctic Oscillation"- Frigid U.S., warm Arctic

Weird weather shows 'why we've got to realize the Arctic is important,' expert says

“While much of the U.S. is seeing a wicked winter, the Arctic is going through just the opposite: January saw the least amount of sea ice for that month on record, plus the region's air temperatures are way above normal. So experts are asking themselves: are these two events intertwined?

La Nina, the naturally occurring (i.e., not manmade) ocean cycle, is certainly a factor in terms of the precipitation coming off the Gulf of Mexico that's colliding with the cold Arctic air. But what's rare is the Arctic air moving so far south and in several rounds this winter.

It's well documented that the Arctic has been warming much faster than other parts of the world in recent years, and many experts tie that to manmade emissions of greenhouse gases that trap heat.” Story here.

This map by the National Snow and Ice Data Center shows the extent of Arctic sea ice in January, and how it compares to the 1979-2010 median (purple line).

Talk like your sweetie? What that says about your relationship

This study really strikes a true note for me. My wife and I would score well in the language-matching category. Sometimes it even goes beyond that, and one of us will say what the other was just about to! We like to kid around and say “great minds think alike!” Now, according to this study talking alike is another good indicator of compatibility.

Emily Taffel-Schaper and her husband, Fritz Schaper (left), say they often find themselves accidentally channeling the other when they speak. (And aside from a shared speaking style, the two clearly have a shared love for acting goofy for the camera.)

Study examines the grammatical structures of pairs' speech styles

“In one experiment, 40 men and 40 women (whose average age was 19) volunteered to take part in a speed-dating study. The volunteers went on as many as 12 four-minute speed dates, each of which was audio- and video-recorded. Researchers then transcribed the conversations, and ran it through a computerized text analysis program, which calculates the number of those "function words." Within a day after the speed dates, the participants were asked whether they would want to see each of their dates again — and those pairs who scored higher in the language-matching analysis were more likely to say they wanted to see each other again.”

And the definitive hangover cure is ... plain old coffee and aspirin, actually

Some people swear by bacon. Or Red Bull. Or a big bacon cheeseburger with fries -- the greasier the better. 

“Thanks to new research out of Thomas Jefferson University in Philadelphia, though, we now know the exact cause of the hangover headache and the Absolut … er … absolute best way to get rid of them. (And no, it’s not a hair of the dog that bit you.)

Turns out, the scientifically-proven best hangover cure may be plain old coffee and aspirin.” STORY HERE.

Australian researchers claim parrots tend to be "left handed"

It’s stories like this that make me wonder what researchers are thinking?

What earthly good is it for people to know why parrots tend to be left handed clawed?

Try as I might, I haven’t come up with the answer yet.

“Parrots, like humans, choose to use one side of their body more than the other, with more of them left handed -- or, more precisely, left footed than anything else.

Some species even try out both before deciding on one side.

Australian researchers found that virtually all the parrots they studied prefer to use either their left eye and left foot, or right eye and right foot.” Story here.

Tension builds as states seek to copy Arizona immigration law

Measures introduced in at least 15 states; some pose dilemma for high-profile Republicans

At least 15 state legislatures are considering measures modeled after provisions of SB1070 that made Arizona the first state to allow police to question the immigration status of anyone they suspect is in the country illegally. The list does not include Wyoming, where a House committee this week killed a bill that would have allowed police to check the immigration status of anyone who is stopped for another violation. (Includes measures that had formally been introduced as of Feb. 2.)

"It's a huge problem," said Republican Lt. Gov. Phil Bryant of Mississippi, where the state Senate last month became the first state legislative chamber to pass a bill modeled on the Arizona measure.

• California
The Assembly is considering a measure that would require police to question the immigration status of anyone they suspect is in the country illegally.

• Colorado
The House is considering a measure that would allow police to question the immigration status of anyone they suspect is in the country illegally. The Senate is considering a measure that would require them to.

GO HERE TO READ THE REST

Something you should know: U.S. cities with the worst drinking water

If you live in Pensacola, Fla., you may want to invest in a water purifier

“In fact, some organizations and state environmental agencies that collect and analyze water data say the level of chemicals in some Americans' drinking water not only exceeds recommended health guideline but the pollutants even exceed the limits set by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), the national legal authority in these matters.” STORY

PHOTO - Texas conducted 22,083 water quality tests between 2004 and 2007 on Houston's water supply, and found 18 chemicals that exceeded federal and state health levels