Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Here’s a Touching Tale to Digest: Boy finds a Bonanza in Whale Vomit

An 8-year-old boy in England could be up to $63,000 richer, thanks to a piece of solidified whale vomit he picked up on the beach.

The chunk may look like a yellow-brownish rock, but it's actually a primo piece of ambergris, an expensive perfume ingredient that is, um, spewed out by whales.

Charlie Naysmith stumbled upon the loaf-sized lump at Hengistbury Head, on the southern coast of England, the Bournemouth Echo reported over the weekend.

All’s well that ends well: former boxers Tyson and Holyfield now buddies

  I’ve followed boxing at a very early age hearing about my father’s fights in the Marine Corp. He was a welterweight. Growing up it was one subject my dad and I loved to talk about.  We followed all of the weight classes.

I still remember when dad bet on an then unknown Cassius Clay to beat the monster Sonny Listen. He cleaned up that night! through the years I’ve selected my favorite boxers of all times in each division.

There was actually a time I considered Mike Tyson…well okay…I’m still divided…as a heavyweight great. I actually lean more towards Evander Holyfield (another Marine…hhmmmm) as a hall of famer. Still, this is a nice story about these two once bitter rivals

Former heavyweight champions Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield are continuing to take advantage of their notorious history together, turning it into a marketing opportunity.

In  1997, in perhaps the most heavily hyped rematch of all time, Tyson lost his composure and bit off part of Holyfield's ear. At the time, that earned Tyson a $3 million fine and a ban from boxing.

Nowadays, the one-time superstars have turned it into a marketing opportunity.

On Monday, Holyfield tweeted a photo of himself wearing a T-shirt bearing the image of Tyson's facial tattoo. He wrote:

@MikeTyson bit my ear and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.

Tyson is selling the T-shirt as part of the Mike Tyson Collection.

That followed on the heels of a Twitter exchange between them in June, in which Tyson helped Holyfield sell his Real Deal Barbecue sauce.

It's good that they can joke about it now -- Tyson apologized to Holyfield on "The Oprah Show" in 2009 -- but it was hardly a joking matter the night of the fight. After Tyson bit Holyfield in retaliation for what he said was intentional head butting, rioting broke out in and around the MGM Grand casino. It's a lot better for all concerned to see them friendly and joking with each other than the way they were back in 1997.” (source)

Cop Jared Rohrig Charged with Posing as His Twin to Have Sex with His Girlfriend

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                                     Good Day Humboldt County!

  I’ve got an interesting tale of a real douchebag that I thought would be fun to kick the day off with. Just when you think you’ve heard it all, guys like Jared Rohrig prove you’re wrong.

 Straight from True Crime Report:

Orange, Connecticut policeman Jared Rohrig has a ton of class. When his twin brother Joseph's girlfriend arrived at the family home late one night -- yes, he's 25 and he still lives with his mom -- Jared pretended to be Joseph. He and the unnamed woman hung out in the hot tub before heading to bed.
But the woman -- who we're guessing was a little tipsy -- noticed something unusual in the midst of having sex. Her boyfriend has a cowboy tattoo on his butt. The man she was romping with did not. That's when she discovered she was sexing up the wrong brother. The woman tried to flee, but she says Jared pulled her back to bed, put a pillow over her face, and continued to rape her...

He's been hit with rape and impersonation charges, and has since resigned from the Orange PD. His mother, Joanne Rohrig, was so embarrassed she will not seek re-election to the Milford, Connecticut Board of Education. And Joseph -- we're just hoping here -- will soon be charged with assault for kicking the living shit out of his brother. He's expected to be acquitted under a rare ecclesiastical statute that permits beating your brother in the event that he sleeps with your girlfriend.”

Time for me to walk on down the road…

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

AS IT STANDS: The court of public opinion is in order

Good Day Humboldt County!  It’s great to be back. For those of you who didn’t read my column last Sunday here you go:                           

     By Dave Stancliff/for the Times-Standard
     In a court somewhere in America. 
  Bailiff - “Everyone please remain standing until the Honorable Judge Les Hearit takes his seat.”
  Judge - “You may take your seats. The court of public opinion is now open.”
  A lawyer for the defense of judgmental Americans steps forward.
  Defense Lawyer for the public - “Your honor, George Zimmerman killed Trayvon Martin and said it was self-defense. America can’t just sit back and wait for a trial. This is big news. A lot of people think he’s a racist and profiled Trayvon. Many others like a good scandal.”
   Judge - “I understand what you’re saying counselor.”

  Defense lawyer for Zimmerman - “What happened to innocent until proven guilty, your honor? I shouldn’t have to defend my client in front of the whole country before the real trial begins.”
   Judge - “Haven’t you ever heard of Judge Judy? Public trials generate cash for the economy. People like to hear people express their opinions.”
   Defense lawyer for Zimmerman - That may be true your honor, but how will we ever get an unbiased jury for the trial when my client’s name tops all the top 10 search engines on the internet?”
  Judge -  “Don’t worry counselor, there are still people out there who don’t watch TV, read newspapers or magazines, use the internet, kindles, nooks, and don’t belong to social media websites like FaceBook or Twitter.”

  Defense lawyer for Zimmerman - “Who are they?  A group of people who live in caves and expect the end of the world this December?”
  Judge - “Watch how you address the court counselor! Show some respect.”
   Defense lawyer for Zimmerman - “Pardon me, your honor. It’s just that the court of public opinion could hurt my client’s chances of being acquitted of the charge against him.”
   Judge - “I don’t agree with that, counselor. Look at the Casey Anthony case. The whole country wanted her to be found guilty, but a jury said she wasn’t. And how about the John Edwards trial? There were a lot of people who thought he was guilty, but once again a jury said he wasn’t.”
   Defense lawyer for the public - “Thank you, your honor, for supporting our right to convict or to acquit anyone without all the facts. It’s truly the American way.”
    Prosecutor - “I’ve been quiet all this time for a reason, your honor. If it please the court, I have no objections to Zimmerman’s case being tried openly like this as it is providing valuable material for the upcoming trial.”
   Defense lawyer for Zimmerman - “Just what do you mean by that, sir?”
   Prosecutor - “Stuff like that Fox interview where your client looked like a puppet being pulled by Sean Hannity’s strings, and yours. He was about as sincere as a rock! That farce was nothing more than a fundraiser for Zimmerman’s website that accepts donations for his defense.”

  Defense layer for Zimmerman - “Objection! My client isn’t a rock! That should be struck from the record!”
   Judge -  “Order in the court! I won’t allow you two to continue to make your cases if you can’t play nice.”
   Defense lawyer for the public - “Oh, come on your honor. This is exactly what we want. Unfounded allegations, outright lies, concealed information, partial truths, and lots of emotion on the part of Trayvon’s parents, the African-American community, the NRA, and other gun lobbies. It’s not about getting to the truth; it’s about entertainment. We want something else to talk about other than the economy, the presidential election, the drought, floods, and healthcare.”

   Judge - “You’ve got a good point counselor…let’s continue.”
   Prosecutor - “The bottom line is Zimmerman brought a knife to a fist fight.”
   Defense lawyer for Zimmerman - “My client feared for his life.”
   Prosecutor - “If he hadn’t got out of the car, Trayvon would be alive today.”
   Defense lawyer for Zimmerman - “My client was trying to protect his neighbors’ houses.”
    Prosecutor - “Trayvon was being chased by a stranger he thought was going to do him harm.”
   Judge - “That’s enough for today. We’ll pick up where we left off tomorrow at 9 a.m. The court of public opinion is dismissed.”
   As It Stands, being judgmental is a national pastime.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Notice To Readers: I’m on my annual blog break until Aug. 28th

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Just to keep it real I pull myself away from my blog once a year.

That time has come. I’m going to be wandering in the hinterlands and heartland of America just because.

If you haven’t gone through my blog archives (they go back four years), you may find them amusing. Then, there’s my newspaper column archives – on the right. Feel free to leave comments, I always answer acknowledge them.

PEACE OUT!

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Livestock Pollution Unchecked: FDA doesn’t even know where all the livestock farms are!

A report to Congress in 2008 said the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency was failing to regulate pollution from the nation's livestock farms because it lacked information as basic as how many farms existed. Four years later, the EPA still doesn't know the location of many livestock farms, let alone how much manure they generate and how all the waste is being handled.

Environmentalists say they were flabbergasted when the EPA recently decided against adopting a rule that would require livestock operators to provide the agency with information. But industry officials say there's no reason for farmers to have to give the EPA information. An EPA spokeswoman says nobody at the agency is available to discuss the decision. (source)

Table Dancers Turn Tables, Show Up To Church To Protest Being Protested

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            Good Day Humboldt County?

I can’t help thinking about that popular song back in the day, “Harper Valley PTA.” The following story really struck me as funny and full of irony.

The dancers at the Foxhole in Coschocton County, Ohio, are used to arriving at work to the sounds of protests from members of the nearby New Beginnings Ministries church. But the same couldn't quite be said for the churchgoers, who showed up for services on Sunday and were greeted by the sight of bikini-clad protesters.

For the last four years, the pastor at New Beginnings has led a protest outside the Foxhole every weekend. Beyond just voicing their disapproval of the strip joint, the church members also videotape the license plates of the bar's patrons and then post the info online.

So the crew at the Foxhole decided to give the churchgoers a taste of their own medicine, sitting outside the church in skimpy outfits and cooling each other down with Super Soakers as they grilled up burgers.

They also held signs with Bible quotes like:
Matthew 7:15: Beware of false prophets who come to you in sheep's clothing
Revelations 22:11: He that is unjust, let him be unjust still

The strip club's owner has unsuccessfully tried to sue the church for their protests, but now he's hoping that this table-flipping will help to put an end to things. "When these morons go away, we'll go away," he said. "The great thing about this country is that everyone has a right to believe what they want."

One of the Foxhole dancers, a married mother-of-six, says the protesters outside the strip club every weekend are ill-informed:

These church people say horrible things about us... They say we're homewreckers and whores. The fact of the matter is, we're working to keep our own homes together, to give our kids what they need.

The New Beginnings pastor counters that he and the other protesters aren't there to condemn the dancers, but to offer them a way out. "I tell them, 'I will put a roof over your heads, and your bills will be paid, and your children's bellies will be full,'" he explains.

The pastor says the protests outside his church of only served to confirm the churchgoers' feelings. "They have now seen the evil firsthand," he says. "This has just made us stronger." The Foxhole owner sees things differently. "They're just mad," he said, "because their wives won't let them come to my club." (source)

Time for me to walk on down the road…

Monday, August 20, 2012

WEBSITE PICK OF THE DAY: History of swords and armor, types of swords and armor, and sword information

                                                                   Roman swords
History of Roman swords. Roman gladius sword, Roman spatha sword and gladiator swords. Roman pugio dagger. Sword history.
roman legionaries

The Roman Sword or Gladius is one of the most widely recognized swords of any culture. These swords were in use between 4th century BC and 3rd Century AD.

The Romans where highly skilled and disciplined and great weapons such as the sword were a must especially for cavalrymen and infantrymen. The skills of these men and the advances in sword making techniques made this sword a deadly weapon and was one the major factors behind a long and successful military reign. To identify a person’s sword the name was often etched into the blade.

GO HERE TO READ MORE

Meandering Monday: some views on current news

                   Good Day Humboldt County!

Let me start by saying this world gets weirder by the day; exhibit A:

A former hacker wanted by Swedish authorities for rape and sexual assault charges, Jullian Assange, steps out on the balcony of the Ecuadorean embassy in Great Britain (where he’ll be arrested if he dares set foot outside it) and calls for the President of the United States to free a member of the American military who was caught leaking Top Security information to Assange (or whoever gave it to him)??? Really?

Rep. Todd Akin, a Republican who recently won a senate seat did so despite his lame ass remarks on abortion rights in instances when a woman is a victim of rape. You want ignorance? Listen to this baby-faced (see photo on right) woman-hater explain his wacky rationale regarding some rapes:

First of all, from what I understand from doctors, [pregnancy from rape] is really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down," Akin said. Yes, I know, it’s an incredibly insensitive remark to make about rape, but he still won the election. What’s with the GOP assault on women anyway?

composite image, with magnified insets, depicts the first laser test of Curiosity Mars rover

I’m trying damn hard not to imagine how many millions of dollars are being spent as we watch NASA’s new play toy on Mars break a rock with a laser beam!

That high tech little off-road vehicle called Curiosity fired 30 pulses at a nearby rock in a 10 second span and guess what? It put a hole through it! Okay. For the sake of science you say?

 Like all good Martian land rovers, Curiosity has a  social media team who made a reference to Austin Powers when it tweeted, "Yes, I've got a laser beam attached to my head. I'm not ill-tempered; I zapped a rock for science." Then it signed off "#PewPew," a nerd reference to the sound lasers make when discharged.

 So that you have it folks; we’ve destroyed a rock on a distant planet with a laser gun, and are heralding the moment as historic and only the first in many more to come. Man’s calling card, “Mindless destruction.” Don’t you just feel “tingly” about spending your tax dollars on this? I sure don’t.

Another reason to hate Mondays: Mondays really are the worst day of the week for the stock market.

Records show Monday is the only day the stock market is more likely to fall than to rise. The Dow Jones industrial average has been down 10 of the past 11 Mondays. And the two worst days in market history are both known as Black Monday.

Time for me to walk on down the road…

Sunday, August 19, 2012

AS IT STANDS: Contemporary Art is Not for Everyone

                         

The people no longer seek consolation in art. But the refined people, the rich, the idlers seek the new, the extraordinary, the extravagant, the scandalous. I have contented these people with all the many bizarre things that come into my head. And the less they understand, the more they admire it. By amusing myself with all these games, all this nonsense, all these picture puzzles, I became famous... I am only a public entertainer who has understood his time.” (Pablo Picasso)
                     By Dave Stancliff/For The Times-Standard 
   One person’s junk can be another’s treasure. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase used in many contexts before. There’s no better example than contemporary art. For those not familiar with what constitutes contemporary art I’ll give you a brief description: anything goes.
  That’s right. Contemporary art is basically a tangible piece of art or installation ranging from a row of porcelain men’s urinals on a wood frame to a rock tied up with colorful ribbons.

Artists and gallery owners say the most important thing to remember is that contemporary art is a frame of mind, in addition to taking action. That said, I freely admit I don’t get it.
  I’m certainly not going to make the same mistake Morley Safer did twenty years ago on a 60 minutes segment, when he made fun, scorned, and satirized the whole contemporary art movement.


  With knowing winks, he showed odd-looking displays that seemed to be nothing more than stuff pulled out of peoples garages, cellars, recycling bins, and trash cans. The art world took notice of this infamous snub.
   Last April, Safer followed up on that controversial segment. He gamely took the “I told you so’s” from art dealers and collectors who were enjoying unprecedented sales, like a good sport. Most of those interviewed for the new segment were people who remembered his earlier attitude.
   I won’t say Safer seemed convinced contemporary art was “legitimate” art in this last segment, but I think he regrets his original condescending attitude. The prices contemporary art commands today make an argument for some legitimacy.

  I’ve discovered that most people who buy contemporary art are wealthy. As in uber-wealthy and ready to pay any amount for the latest “hot” piece. Status comes with owning a collection of electrical cords arranged around a sculpture of a broken telephones that sold for $1.2 million dollars.
  Contemporary art is a billion dollar a year industry in America, according to Safer’s report. There’s nothing laughable about that.

    If you’re interested in buying, or investing in contemporary art works I recommend reading In Art Auctions: A Survey of Empirical Studies (Working Paper No. 8997) by Research Associate Orley Ashenfelter, and co-author Kathryn Graddy.
  They review what is known about how the art auction system actually works and discuss whether art makes a good investment. They also assess the accuracy of expert estimates of value, and examine the determination of reserve prices.

   Just be prepared to enter unregulated territory where insider knowledge is the norm, and fixed prices among art gallery owners is the way business is done. It’s like the stock market on steroids. Like an artificial bubble, that when it bursts, won’t really affect the main players. They mostly spend their pocket money anyway. 

   Getting involved with contemporary art is easy. Google “ArtBook Guy” to see how. I wish you the best of luck. I think it’s kind of silly to pay for things I perceive to be everyday objects going for astronomical prices, so I’ll never be a collector.
  I suppose that’s just a sign of my art ignorance. Somewhere down deep in my brain the “art spot’ must be underdeveloped. I would like to add that I do appreciate more traditional art, and I’m not a complete art philistine.

  Thus far, no contemporary art pieces have rivaled traditional ones like Paul Cezanne’s “The Card Players” which sold for $250 million in 2011, to the country of Qatar. Needless to say, that was the most expensive piece of art ever sold.
  Pablo Picasso was among the first contemporary artists to be internationally recognized for his work. It’s interesting to note that he had no illusions about what he was doing. He was amusing himself at the expense of others and getting famous for his efforts.
   As It Stands, when someone sells a pair of dirty socks for a new art record, I’m going to become a contemporary artist!

Trump's Lowest Grift Ever Saved for Holy Week

This is a story about how the devil's puppet, aka Donald Trump, mocked Christianity by selling a book combining the Bible, the Constitu...