I'm going to ask you to suspend reality today, and to pretend we're in the near future.
Somewhere in Washington DC...
Trump has agreed (despite his lawyers advise) to talk with Robert Mueller.
Mueller: "Thank you for agreeing to talk today, Mr. President."
Trump: "Is that why I'm sitting in this room? Ha! Ha! Just joking with you horse-face."
Mueller: "Why did you fire FBI Director, Jim Comey?"
Trump: "Because he made up bad stories about me and Putin. It was my right as president to bitch slap him for claiming Russia helped me get elected."
Mueller: "Well...they did Mr. President. All of our intelligence agencies agree."
Trump: "What are you? A wise ass?"
Mueller: "No, sir. Just stating facts. Can we get on with this interview now?"
Trump: "Interview? This feels more like a grilling. When is this witch hunt going to stop?"
Mueller: "My best guess is we're going to wrap the investigation up shortly after our conversation. My next question has to do with Michael Flynn. When did you know he lied to the FBI?"
Trump: "Michael Flynn eh? Give me a moment, I'm trying to remember who he is. Off hand, I'd guess he was a bit player under my administration."
Mueller: "He was more than that, sir. He was your first national security advisor."
Trump: "Oh yeah! I fired the bum didn't I? I pulled an Apprentice and said, 'You're fired!'"
Mueller: "Actually he resigned, sir."
Trump: "What is it with you Bob? Don't you like me?"
Mueller: "It has nothing to do with that, sir. Just stating facts."
Trump: "Facts! More like liberal attacks against America's favorite president...me! You, and your 17 Angry Democrats, are part of the Deep State that has been trying to get me out of office. "
Mueller: "You realize that these proceedings are being recoded, sir?"
Trump: "Rudy! WTF! I thought there weren't going to be any tapes! You know how I hate tapes!"
Time for me to walk on down the road...