Dave Stancliff 2015-08-16 blogarama.com

Saturday, August 22, 2015

I don’t mean to be facetious, but…

Good Day World!

Sometimes it’s best to have flippant views of the news.

The world is so damn serious it’s stressful. Of course, it’s all on how you look at things.

A playful attitude can put a silly spin on almost any news items. Being irreverent can also be about scathing condemnations.

PLAYFUL

North Korea is threatening war. Again. International observers have lost count on how many times the dark and dingy communist bastion has declared war on someone. They liken it to the cautionary tale of the boy crying wolf.

This latest dire warning is over eleven loud speakers. Talk about a war of words. This story would be scary if it wasn’t over such a stupid reason. Someone needs to tell the moon-faced leader of North Korea, Kim Jong Un, that words won’t hurt him.

FLIPPANT

The current birthright citizen debate has been like Brer Rabbit (from Tales of Uncle Remus) getting stuck in the briar patch for some GOP presidential candidates.

Both Marco Rubio and Bobby Jindal's parents were not citizens at the time of their sons' births, although they were in the United States legally. Can you say awkward?

Sticky wicket eh? Other GOP candidates are calling for nixing birthright citizenship, apparently specifically targeting the children of undocumented immigrants. That ought to be popular with Hispanics…NOT!

IRREVERENT

The last story I’m going to comment on is this one:

'Super Predators': Humans Hunting Animals of Wrong Size and Age

How many studies does it take to figure out mankind is the ultimate predator? That fact was evident when early man fashioned weapons and went on a killing spree that has spanned the centuries until modern times.

Frankly, I’d rather see a study about saving animals. Or, why humans have to kill for sport? We know that we’re the most powerful and cruel animal on Earth. Maybe someday we’ll figure out how to live with other species without slaughtering them!

Time for me to walk on down the road…

 

 

Friday, August 21, 2015

Sexual medicine: ‘You’ve come a long way baby’

                                          Good Day World!

Equality at last!

The world of sexual medicine has finally opened up it’s doors to women. Now they can get horny with the help of a little pink pill.

Let’s face it, men have always been able to find something to enhance their sex lives. I wager they were eating roots for boners before they were able to write or make weapons.

But, this is the 21st century and science is catching up to women’s needs. I couldn’t help smiling when I read how this new pink pill – Addyi -  makes women passionate.

The FIRST vast difference between men’s Sildenafil, aka Viagra, and Addyi is how long they take to work. Within hours, Viagra takes hold and it’s rodeo time! Addyi is another story. You have to take it for weeks and months in order to see any benefit.

The SECOND vast difference between these two sexual enhancers is all about location.

Viagra is like having an Erector Set (remember them?) assisting longevity with an assurance of several hours of rock-hard performance.

Addyi, known generically as flibanserin, is the first drug that acts on brain chemicals that affect mood and appetite. The key here; it puts women in the mood for love.

Are you surprised guys need something more than sexy thoughts? I’m not. I’m also not surprised that women need more cerebral arousal than physical methods for getting jiggy.

It all fits neatly into the theory that Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.

Now the real kicker:

We know Viagra only is supposed to last for a matter of hours. But what about Addyi? If it takes months to reach that pleasure plateau what happens when the big day arrives?

How long will that loving feeling last? The possibilities are mind-boggling!

Time for me to walk on down the road…

Thursday, August 20, 2015

No Family Dynasty Zone: Say No to Bush and Clinton

Narrator: “There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone.” The Twilight Zone

Welcome.

There is a sixth dimension beyond that which is known to many voters.

It’s called the Family Dynasty Zone, and Americans will find themselves trapped in it if either Jeb Bush, or Hillary Clinton, win the next presidential election.

Strange as it seems, there appears to be cases of mass amnesia when it comes to candidates with the last name of Bush or Clinton. Their demons are exorcized by Super PACS and billionaires with private agendas.

Despite having former family members in the Oval Office, the Houses of Bush and Clinton feel the need to occupy it again. And again. And again..

The vacuum that’s created when a Bush or a Clinton is in the White House is soul-sucking. Into that void of nepotism, and cronyism, all hope for improvement for most Americans is abandoned.

The wealthy welcome them both.

After all, they all live in the same rarified atmosphere and suck money from the same source (you and me) like vampires running rampant through a blood storage warehouse.

But there’s hope.

I don’t care who you vote for, but please, just say NO to political family dynasties at the voting booth in 2016.

Time for me to walk on down the road…

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Oh, the humanity! 1200 beers opened but not consumed!

Good Day World!

If you’re a beer lover this story may disturb you.

In a mind-numbing raid, thieves broke into a shop in Muelheim, Germany and opened 1,200 bottles of Koenig Pilsener beer…

so what’s the big deal?

They DID NOT drink the beers.

Not even one bottle. Instead the cretins left the untouched bottles in their crates – their destiny unfulfilled. The amber brew inside left to spoil.

From the start, investigators thought it was an odd robbery because only one brand of beer was violated. The Koenig Pilsener. When they discovered pieces of metal on the ground the mystery deepened.

Clever heads prevailed however, and the authorities soon discovered that lots of bottle caps were missing and why.

The bottle caps had tokens printed on them — with some entitling the holder to tools and speakers. (source)

It seems to me that all the brewing company has to do is sit back and wait for some clown to redeem a bag of bottle caps. Or, maybe the booty was divided up between several clowns, in which case the purloined bottle caps should still stand out when compared to normal submissions.

In any event, a lot of good beer was wasted. And that’s a damn crime!

Time for me to walk on down the road…

 

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Ads Will Soon Come Straight From the Moon

"One of these days Alice—pow! Straight to the Moon!"

Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleeson) from the Honeymooners - Image via CBS

  Good Day World!

Lunar advertising is the next big trend.

For those of you who were unaware that advertising from space is NOT a new thing:

In 1997, an Israeli dairy company filmed a milk commercial on a Russian space station.

In 2001, Pizza Hut delivered vacuum-sealed pizzas to the International Space Station.

The moon was the next natural frontier for advertisers like Pocari Sweat, a Japanese sports drink that tastes like Gatorade and resembles, well, sweat. It’s looking like this sports drink may be the first product promoted from the moon.

With a target date in the latter half of 2016, an American firm devoted to space exploration, Space X, plans to land a rover on the moon. Among the rover’s cargo: a can of Pocari Sweat, which will be left on a lunar plain near a giant crater named Bürg.

Astrobotic, the U.S. firm designing the rover that will plop the Pocari Sweat can onto the moon, expects more advertising dollars are coming.

Astrobotic recently told the GlobalPost that ads probably won’t be the “driving force” funding non-governmental space projects.

But they’re open to offering “numerous opportunities for marketing on the moon from corporate sponsorship, educational and inspirational marketing opportunities.”

WHAT A DEAL!

In the rare air of the world of advertising the cost of dropping that Pocari Sweat can on the moon will be less than $8 million, the cost of a single minute of advertising during the Super Bowl.

Astrobotic wants to take on more advertisers for its voyage next year and expects more “sponsorships” to fall into place closer to the yet-to-be-determined launch date.

Time for me to walk on down the road…

Monday, August 17, 2015

That dirty water…Olympic athletes will have to compete in scum

                                      Good Day World!

Just a year away.

The Summer Olympics.

An estimated 1,400 athletes will participate in rowing, sailing, triathlon, canoeing and distance swimming around Rio de Janeiro.

But those athletes will be swimming and boating in waters so contaminated with human feces that they risk becoming violently ill and unable to compete in the games, an Associated Press investigation has found.

Local politicians claim they will be clean, but most experts say it’ll take a lot more than a year to get bacteria levels down to safe levels.

Athletes paddle during a canoeing competition at Rodrigo de Freitas Lagoon in Rio de Janeiro

RECENT EVENT

Thirteen rowers on the 40-member U.S. team recently came down with stomach illness at the World Junior Rowing Championships in Brazil - a trial run for next summer's Olympics - and the team doctor said she suspected it was due to pollution in the lake where the competition took place.

On July 30, The Associated Press published an independent analysis of water quality that showed high levels of viruses and, in some cases, bacteria from human sewage in all of Rio's Olympic and Paralympic water venues, including the Rodrigo de Freitas Lake, where the rowing competition took place. (Source)

Related:

Olympic athletes to swim and boat in "raw sewage"

Time for me to walk on down the road…