Good Day World!
Barnum and Bailey would be proud.
The 2016 presidential election is already a 3-ring circus despite being over a year away.
We’ve got a ringmaster, Donald Trump, setting his GOP opponents on fire with his hair-blazing comments. In response, his opponents have been jumping through hoops to get their moment on center stage.
What a show. You won’t believe some of the antics thus far. As a matter of fact your first response will probably be, “They really didn’t do that…did they?”
Ted Cruz Making Bacon
In a minute-long video released Monday, the 44-year-old senator from Texas, decided not to address political issues.
"There are few things I enjoy more than, on weekends, cooking breakfast with the family. Of course in Texas, we cook bacon a little differently than most folks," he said over music that could have been from the opening of an action film.
The video then shows the conservative candidate wrapping a slice of bacon around the barrel of an assault rifle and covering it in aluminum foil before emptying two magazines in a barrage of shots fired at an indoor target.
"There's grease coming down," Cruz declares, satisfied that the gun has gotten hot enough to cook the bacon.
Rand Paul’s Chainsaw Attack
Sen. Rand Paul took a chainsaw to the tax code, literally. But even a slickly produced campaign video couldn’t cut through the frenzy over Donald Trump.
The Kentucky Republican released an edgy video Tuesday called “How would you kill the tax code?” Sporting a black “Detroit Republican” T-shirt, Paul talks about creating a one-page tax form with a 14.5% flat tax and destroying “all 70,000 pages” of the U.S. tax code.
Then, for dramatic effect, he sets stacks of paper on fire, shoves them in a wood-chipper and takes a chainsaw to them, while an electric guitar squeals the national anthem.
Lindsey Graham Clobbers Cell Phone
Graham is trolling Trump in a video for IJReview, a conservative news site.
Using fire, a toaster oven, a golf club, a cleaver, and other fun but totally unnecessary methods, he destroys a bunch of flip phones—and one unfortunate blender.
"Or if all else fails, you can always give your number to The Donald," Graham says in closing, before hurling one last phone off screen "for the veterans," a dig at Trump's attack on Sen. John McCain's time as prisoner of war.
Three examples are enough for now. If you’d like to add one, please let me know. I have a hunch there’s a whole slew of ridiculous stunts upcoming before this election is over.
Time for me to walk on down the road…