Dave Stancliff 2012-03-18 blogarama.com

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Intergalatic News: Darth ‘Cheney’ Vader gets heart transplant

Darth “Cheney”, 71, who served as vice president during the George W. Bush regime, got a heart transplant yesterday. This came as a shock to most that know him, as it has been generally assumed he never had a heart!

His lackey’s won’t say where he got the heart from, but claim that it’s the dawn of a new era for Darth Cheney Vader. As Earthlings know, Vader has a nasty habit of lying, and they suspect that his latest ploy is an effort to make people think he’s human.

Will the “Dark Side” become involved in this presidential election now that Darth Cheney has extended his evil life?  Stay tuned folks…that’s not all!

Kuwait honors shooting team with bogus national anthem

Borat fans were probably delighted to hear his version of Kazakhstan’s national anthem in a real world setting.

On the other hand, there’s a pissed-off Kazakhstan shooting team that didn’t appreciate the medal ceremony in Kuwait turning into a comedy.

Here’s what happened:

“Kazakhstan's shooting team demanded an apology from Kuwait Friday after a spoof national anthem from the satirical film "Borat" was played at a medal ceremony instead of the country's official version.

The blunder took place as Maria Dmitrienko stood on top of the podium to celebrate her gold-medal performance. But instead of the Kazkah national anthem, Dmitrienko had to listen to the song used in the 2006 smash hit "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan."

The film, made by British comic Sacha Baron Cohen, portrayed Kazakhstan as a hotbed of backward racists who drink horse urine and indulge in incest. Red-faced organizers in Kuwait apologized for the embarrassing oversight before re-staging the medal ceremony, this time with the correct version of the Kazakhstan anthem.

Kazakhstan's foreign office told local media they were investigating the incident to avoid any similar errors in the future.”  (Source)

Once upon a time we didn’t do a single sleep to get energized

                      Good Day Humboldt County!

Our journey through life requires regular sleep to gather energy for the next day. But how much sleep do we really need? I’m most rested with less than six hours at a stretch. I know people who sleep 10 straight hours in order to feel really rested.

Actually, the thought that we need eight hours of straight sleep for maximum performance the next day is a modern one. Apparently, our ancestors took “two sleeps” a day. It’s a fascinating subject and discussed here: 

“It happens to all of us, you wake up in the middle of the night and try desperately to get back to sleep but instead toss and turn until the alarm goes off. Rather than it being simply symptomatic of a stressful work week, science suggests you might be experiencing a throwback to a default pattern of human slumber. According to mounting research, the concept of a solid eight hours sleep is a fairly recent phenomenon and it's likely that our ancestors enjoyed "two sleeps" of shorter duration, separated by time awake, as opposed to one sustained period.

As the BBC's Stephanie Hegarty recently wrote, psychiatrist Thomas Wehr was the first to rediscover this behavioural trait in the early 1990s while studying the sleeping habits of humans. Plunging a group of participants into 14 hours of darkness for a month he found they fell into a distinct pattern after a period of adjustment: sleeping for four hours before waking for one or two and then sleeping a further four. Since then, Roger Ekirch, a professor in the Department of History at Virginia Tech and author of At Day's Close: Night in Times Past, has found a wealth of evidence to suggest that the single sleep is a modern occurrence, with "first" and "second" sleeps considered the norm since the beginning of human civilization.

"The pattern of our sleep has changed from a segmented or bi-phasic pattern, which existed from time immemorial, to the compressed, consolidated form to which we aspire today, but do not always succeed in achieving," Ekirch told me.” Read the rest at the Source

Time for me to walk on down the road…

Friday, March 23, 2012

Consumer complaints drive ‘Pink Slime’ from supermarket chains

         Good Day Humboldt County!

  In the course of millions of Americans culinary travels, they’ve eaten “pink slime,” at one time or another.

Most of us weren’t even aware that we were making hamburger patties from an ammonia-treated beef additive.

  The food industry refers to pink slime as a “finely textured beef” additive and has been quietly approving the crap for years.

 Social media, and the mainstream media, recently expressed worries about how safe the pink slime was to eat. Hundreds of thousands of online petitions popped up seeking to stop schools from serving it after the word got out students enrolled in the national school lunch program were being served pink slime. The Agriculture Department got the message and announced starting next fall, schools involved in the national school lunch program will have the option of avoiding the product.

It’s nice to see how quickly most of the major supermarkets are responding to customer’s concerns:

Snippet:

“Supermarket chains Kroger Co. and Stop & Shop said Thursday they will join the growing list of store chains that will no longer sell beef that includes an additive with the unappetizing moniker "pink slime."

The Kroger Co., the nation's largest traditional grocer with 2,435 supermarkets in 31 states, also said it will stop buying the beef, reversing itself after saying Wednesday that it would sell beef both with and without the additive. The chains joined Safeway, Supervalu and Food Lion, among others, who have said they won't sell beef with the filler.

The low-cost ingredient is made from fatty bits of meat left over from other cuts. The bits are heated to about 100 degrees Fahrenheit and spun to remove most of the fat. The lean mix then is compressed into blocks for use in ground meat. The product is exposed to ammonium hydroxide gas to kill bacteria, such as E. coli and salmonella. Whole Foods, A&P and Costco said they have never sold beef products with the additive.” (Source)

Interestingly enough, no word yet from Wal-Mart Stores Inc., - which sells more food than any other retailer in the nation. What do you think? Will Wal-Mart live up to it’s slimy reputation and keep stocking the refrigerator section with pink slime?

Time for me to walk on down the road…

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Are Mole Men preparing to invade Clintonville, Wisconsin?

Residents are of this small town are “shaking in their boots” or laughing like hyenas!

A mysterious loud boom went off Sunday evening in Clintonville, Wisconsin, and nothing has been the same since. Residents are reporting strange disturbance sounds like distant thunder, fireworks or someone slamming a heavy door.

The booming in Clintonville continued Monday and Tuesday nights and into Wednesday morning, prompting some residents to leave the area.

City officials say they have investigated every possible human cause. They checked water, sewer and gas lines, contacted the military about any exercises in the area, reviewed permits for mining explosives and inspected a dam next to City Hall. They even tested methane levels at the landfill in case the gas was spontaneously exploding.

Steve Dutch, a geologist at the University of Wisconsin-Green Bay, said the ground beneath them is solid, and that there are no known earthquake fault lines in the area. Officials in a city plagued by unexplained booms and bangs are hiring engineers in the hopes of finding the source of the racket, the city administrator said today. There have been numerous theories thrown out for the cause of the commotion, but my favorite has to be the one suggesting Mole Men are acting up down there!

Smithsonian Channel’s ‘Titanoboa: Monster Snake’ is an Ophidiophobian’s worst nightmare

Artist's rendering of the colossal prehistoric snake Titanoboa cerrejonensis (© Jason Bourque/University of Florida/Reuters)

       Warning!

Don’t watch today’s TV special (Smithsonian Channel)if you have Snakephobia (Ophidiophobia).

If you happen to be a New York commuter with a nervous disposition about our slithery friends, then be aware there’s an exhibit today (and tomorrow) in Grand Central that may ruin your day!

A monster snake is setting up home in Grand Central. OK, so it's actually an accurate replica of the largest snake ever discovered.The 48-foot monster – weighing in at a whopping 2,500 pounds – will be on display in Vanderbilt Hall. Titanoboa is thought to have lived 65 million years ago.

Here’s a link with more information on the documentary and museum exhibition. I’m sure glad Titanoboa’s descendants aren’t as big…imagine any animal, or man, today trying to take one on!

Cat makes like flying squirrel as it falls off 19 story building

      Good Day Humboldt County!

   I’ve found that pets have really improved my walk through life. They offer so much, and ask for so little.

  I especially enjoy hearing tales of animals surviving insurmountable odds. Today’s “tail” involves a one-year old cat that used up one of it’s 9 lives in a perilous plunge off a 19 story building.

                News Snippet:

Sugar, a white furry cat, plunged 19 floors from a window in a high-rise building in Boston and – aided by her fall into a tiny mulch patch and the feline’s ability to glide a la the "flying squirrel" – lived to walk another day, animal rescue officials say.

A woman in the West End building said she saw a “white streak” go by her window early Wednesday afternoon and then saw Sugar after she hit the ground, said Mike Brammer, assistant manager of the animal rescue services department at the Animal Rescue League of Boston.

“You could see the impact crater where she actually did hit the ground and she actually lost some fur in the hole, too," Brammer said. The cat's small landing spot is surrounded by brick and concrete. “Whether cats can sometimes aim, so if it did it itself or if it was a combination of luck or both … it managed to hit that small patch of mulch, so it was very soft ground,” he said.

The feline, believed to be one year old, was aided in her fall by dynamics akin to the “flying squirrel” phenomenon, Brammer said.” (Read the whole story here.)

Time for me to walk on down the road….

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

‘Funny how Smart phones keep making people do dumb s**t’

I’ve heard numerous stories about people walking and texting with painful results. Some people have fallen down manholes, while others trip in pot holes, or off of curbs, or even walk right into buildings, parking meters, and stationary cars, but this is a new one to me:

“Bonnie Miller is speaking up about the dangers of texting while walking. The Benton Harbor woman plunged into a frigid Lake Michigan while trying to change an appointment on her phone. Thanks to Miller's husband and 19-year-old bystander Rebecca Van Zant, who both jumped in to keep Miller afloat until the Coast Guard arrived, the contrite texter is OK.

Tweeps are exasperated by the latest "Dumb Texting Tricks" episode, with @GongshowDuncs commenting, "Funny how smart phones keep making people do dumb s**t." On the plus side, Van Zant is even more determined to join the Coast Guard after recently failing the entrance exam by two points.”

If you’re having a bad day, take heart…your not alone

    Good Day Humboldt County!

As we walk along life’s path we often experience bad days. It’s a fact of life. It’s how we deal with these bad days that decide the severity of them.

Some people can get hit with everything imaginable and still be thankful they are alive. Others let one bad incident ruin their day.

One family in Athens, Ohio, were really lucky. A huge boulder came loose and rolled down a mountain and onto this home and two cars.

The family was in another part of the house. Their reaction had to be one of relief. The boulder didn’t kill anyone. As for the damage, hopefully the house and cars are insured. Here’s another example:

400-pound gorilla escapes, bites zookeeper at Buffalo Zoo

A 400-pound adult male gorilla named Koga escaped his cage at the Buffalo Zoo on Monday, biting a female zookeeper before being tranquilized.

The keeper who has cared for Koga since he arrived in 2007 was bitten on her hand and calf, in what officials said was an act of excitement rather than aggression.

Time for me to walk on down the road…

 

 

  

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

‘Pimp grade kratom’–ancient but new to you - drug is latest fad

                                                      Good Day Humboldt County!

   The road to getting high has split off into a new highway – at least for me – with the discovery of the Kratom leaf. Apparently, this potent little plant has been around for thousands of years in Southeast Asia, and people are finally getting wind of it here.

      It’s being monitored by the DEA, but is still legal to buy. Proponents claim small doses of Kratom combats fatigue, pain and depression. It’s even touted as an antidote to heroin addiction. "Kratom makes people feel pain free, strong, active and optimistic," according to the Website Kratom.com.

                                                                 News Snippet:

"Every month somebody is trying to get a new 'safe high'," said Frank LoVecchio, medical director of the Banner Good Samaritan Poison and Drug Information Center in Phoenix, Ariz. "(Kratom) is definitely not safe."

As with many herbal and chemical products on the market, science and law enforcement are playing catch-up. Little research has been done to determine the risks of taking kratom, so it remains legal and unregulated in the United States.” (source)

         Even promoters warn that daily use of kratom can lead to dependence and nasty side effects.

“A Website for the Kratom Association, which claims more than 100 members, has launched a campaign to counter what it describes as harmful and irresponsible representation of the herb — censuring or reporting sellers and head shops that market it as a "legal high," target teenagers or sell kratom adulterated with illegal drugs or other harmful substances.”

Kratom is illegal in a number of countries in Europe and Asia — most notably Thailand, where much of it is produced. It is now the third most commonly used illegal drug in Thailand, according to the DEA. In that country’s drug culture, the leaf is sometimes combined with cough syrup and Coke, tranquilizers and marijuana to produce a narcotic drink called "4x100." (source)

“Long-term daily high dose kratom consumption is reported to induce nervousness, sleeplessness, loss of libido, constipation and the darkening of skin complexion,” Kratom.com says in its "dangerous effects" section.

“Some sellers label it as "incense," claiming it is not sold for human consumption while also requiring that buyers be at least 18 years old. One variety being touted for its powerful punch is Maeng Da, which translates to “pimp grade kratom.” (Source)

Time for me to walk on down the road…

Monday, March 19, 2012

Time to trick your eyes girls and guys…

I enjoy optical illusions and am always on the prowl for new ones. Here’s one worth sharing with you.

                               Are the lines below straight or are they curved?

desrolobh

Try putting a straight edge against the lines on your screen to test your conclusion.

Thanks to EyeTricks                Go here to see more great optical illusions.

Republican Klu Kluxer runs for Sheriff in Sand Point, Idaho

Shaun Winkler

I was talking with a friend the other day, and he was telling that me that the White Supremacists are practically gone from Idaho – which at one time was the headquarters for the Aryan Nation.

Based upon this news story, I kind of doubt his assertion that ALL the hate groups have moved to Kalispell, Montana. That guy on the right, with the Confederate flag, looks pretty comfortable in that shopping center in downtown Sand Point.

“A white supremacist in northern Idaho is running for sheriff of Bonner County, saying his views on race will not influence his approach to the office.

Shaun Winkler, 33, of the White Knights of the KKK will go up against incumbent Sheriff Daryl Wheeler and Ponderay police officer Tim Fry in the Republican primary on May 15. The winner of that contest will face independent candidate Rocky Jordan in November according to the Bonner County Daily Bee.

Here’s the thing that gets me; what party did he choose to run with? The Republicans. Not the Independent Party, the Democratic Party, or the Libertarian Party…no…the Republican Party. Could it be that Winkler knows the current GOP has been drinking a lot of spiked Kool Aid lately and his radical beliefs would find a home with them? Hmmmmmm … could be. I have a column coming up in a couple of weeks, that will go into detail about the growing number of hate groups in America that are preparing for war if President Obama is re-elected. Stay tuned.

Sexy Lady: More Marilyn Monroe memorabilia up for action

                     Good Day Humboldt County!

  Men and women loved her. Marilyn Monroe was a real person. Vibrant and full of life. Her fans are legion. Even today. Traveling down the road to fame wasn’t as easy as many people might have thought.  

  If your ready to take a stroll down memory lane, and perhaps snag a piece of Marilyn’s past, then the following auction coming up on  on March 31st, is for you:

     Never-before-seen Marilyn Monroe photos up for auction

A first issue of Playboy magazine (HMH Publishing, 1953) featuring Marilyn Monroe on the cover. The magazine, which launched in December 1953, sold for 50 cents a copy. 11 by 8 1/2 inches.
Estimate: $1,000 - $1,500  - Julien's Auctions

             Odd Marilyn memorabilia to be auctioned

Darren Julien and Martin Nolan, of Julien’s Auctions, show off an eclectic mix of items that once belonged to the iconic sex symbol Marilyn Monroe, including skis, nightgowns and a chest X-ray .

 

(below)                       Chair from Marilyn Monroe's final photo session

This Italian-style carved chair with green velvet upholstery was used in a July 1962 photo shoot with photographer Allan Grant to accompany a Life magazine article. Monroe chose her own casual clothes for the shoot. At the time of the article Monroe had just been fired from the unreleased film "Something's Got To Give."

For the auction, not just the photos are going up for sale, Nolan noted: In some cases, the rights to the photos are also up for sale -- the buyer will be able to reap royalties from republishing them. It's a good investment, said Nolan: "(Marilyn memorabilia) continue to increase year over year, it's unbelievable. ... She's still relevant today, and of course that adds value. She's a global icon." See slideshow

Time for me to walk on down the road…